Circle of Life

September 9, 2010
Dawn breaks on a dusty day. Cracks of light break through the shutters covering the window in front of me. Within seconds the room is alight, dancing in luxurious motions across the baron space. The night still hangs over me like a broken umbrella on a stormy day. Memories stick out but others are flooded by the rain leaking in. Gazing into the scene before me I don=t see the glistening leaves on crisp maples or taste the salt in the brisk air around me. Instead I am standing achingly alone among several fallen trees.
The air is thick with the terror I can feel bubbling to the surface of my composure. Every noise rings clear in my ears, deafeningly loud. Stepping out of the forest surrounding me, I look back cautiously, the sound of my heartbeat drowning out all other noise. The meadow before me is small, only thirty feet across each way. The grass is only a few inches long after its long winters nap. Trees surround the meadow in a circular pattern as if they were protecting it from some outside threat.
Stepping swiftly into the meadow, my long white nightgown flutters in the breeze behind me. A slight movement in the corner of my eye brings my head sharply around. A bird flirts with the edge of a precarious branch, leaning as far out as possible to look at the frozen ground below. Satisfied that it was only the bird, I gaze across the meadow with the utmost terror. The ground is covered with several patches of snow, making them appear to look like lily pads in a pond. I am struck by the beauty of the scene before me. There are hibernating trees, their bare branches seeming almost lonely and a twilight sky illuminates the earth in a heavenly fashion.
A large boulder sits only feet from me just on the outskirts of the meadow. It’s in the shape of what looked like a heart. At the very top it curved inwards to make a minute divot where water trickled off when it rained. The curves were smooth and rounded giving it the appearance of a heart. Where the boulder met the ground it came to a point. My heart skipped a beat at the sight of it, triggering unforgettable memories.
Suddenly, my head filled with images of a boy and a girl, a girl who looked like me. Her face was fresh except for a light application of mascara. She sat on the same boulder in a pair of worn jeans, scuffed cowboy boots and a ripped t-shirt that was playing pick-a-boo with a small rose tattoo on the small of her back. One her daddy would surely have a heart attack over if he ever learned of its existence.
The boy sitting across from her had his converse clad feet flat against the boulder and his knees were knocking together in the summer air as he leaned back against his hands. Smiling mischievously at her, he caught her eye. Then the moment cracked when the same handsome face fell in another memory, his eyes crawling into the back of his head, only the whites of his eyes visible. This same boy groaned softly before he fell to his knees in this same meadow some time ago.
The girl had rushed to his side, bending over his body, pressing her shaking hands to his stomach trying to stop the blood from rushing like a river. Through clouded, tear filled eyes she looked up between the curtain of her red hair at the twisted features of a man filled with hate and anger, the gun he=d just shot still pointed in their direction. In a flash, his disgusting face was gone and the only thing she saw was the body of a boy she loved more than the life growing inside of her. While praying silently to God, she exerted all her energy into preventing the boy in front of her from dying in her arms. His face was as pale as she had ever seen it, his bottom lip trembling with the pain and his forehead wrinkled in concentration. His mouth opened slowly and he stared up at her through misty eyes. It was the last time she would ever hear him speak.
ALove her as much as I love the both of you.@
Black rivers ran down her face as her body trembled with the need to gather him in her arms and hope for the best.
AHow do you know it=s going to be a girl?@ She asked, her voice catching in her throat as her mind ran in overdrive, trying to think of how she was going to get an ambulance to him in the middle of nowhere. Her cell phone was not going to work out her and she was well over half a mile from the farm. Carrying him was definitely out, her being only five-four to his six-one.
AI just have a feeling.@ He said, so softly she had to lean closer just to hear him.
AI love you,@
AI know you do. I just wish...@ He said slowly his head falling to the side, hitting the soft, warm ground with a deafening thud.
The scene was gone as soon as it came and my eyes focused through the tears and the dark of the night. The moon was shining high above the meadow, its beauty and power threatening. A sound behind me brought me to my senses, my mind adjusted to my surroundings. Turning quickly, my eyes searched the forest before me. A trembling hand pressed firmly to my swollen stomach in an attempt to protect the only thing I had left of him.
My heart tried to escape my chest when a lone figure emerged from the haunting forest now behind him. He was wearing a long, black trench coat. A baseball cap hid the grimy mop of hair on top of his head. The bill of his cap was so low it shadowed the rest of his face; a dirty beard on his chin was all that was visible. Without a single sound, not a word, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the same gun he=d killed the love of my life with. With an overpowering sureness he lifted the gun in my direction, the end of the barrel pointed at my chest. Then with a loud bang everything was gone.

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