Guilty Criminal Free, Innocent One In Jail

August 26, 2010
By DoubleS BRONZE, Mississauga, Other
DoubleS BRONZE, Mississauga, Other
2 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Guilty Criminal Free, Innocent one in jail
Day T. Day T. What kind of name is that? I thought to myself. What could it stand for? I had been assigned a case. “The case of Day T’. I was headed to the juvenile jail where he was kept. As I was driving across this two lane endless highway scary thoughts were going through my head. This made driving to a juvenile jail scarier than it already was. The first thing to be scared about was that as a new lawyer for the New York City police department or the NYPD, I was headed for my first case. The second scary thought going through my head was the thought of seeing wild and unruly criminals aged twelve to seventeen when I got there.
Finally at what looked to be the end of the dusty, rough, two lanes, and unpleasant highway, I saw a rusted sign with an arrow that said, The John Warren Juvenile Detention Facility. As I made a turn into the facility, I saw a large building across a giant field surrounded by fences with a minimum height of at least ten feet. After seeing that I knew I was in the right place. The only place without fencing was a small narrow door so I assumed this was the entrance and I went inside. I saw a sign that read main office so I followed the arrow on it going straight ahead. As I was walking I saw many teenage boys in orange uniforms giving me strange looks with raised eyebrows.
When I finally reached the office I saw a man with a brownish moustache in a white shirt wearing a New York Yankees baseball hat sitting on a chair reading the New York Times. There was a name plate on his desk that read Mr. John so I assumed this was his name and called him.
“Mr. John?”
“Yes. Can I help you?” he said not looking away from his newspaper.
“Yes actually you can help me. I’m from the NYPD, and I was wondering if you can tell me where Day T is. I’m his lawyer.”
Mr. John put down his paper and said, “He’s standing right behind you.”
I turned around and saw Day T staring at me with a raised eyebrow. I asked Mr. John if he could give me Day T’s file. When I got it and turned around Day T was gone. I decided to go look for him. As I was walking outside I saw boys that were rather well behaved for criminals. I barely remembered Day T’s face. This made looking for him harder. I was almost ready to give up when I saw a boy sitting on the ground writing something down on a piece of paper.
“Day T?” I asked.
All he did was hand me the piece of paper and walked away. What was with this guy always appearing and disappearing in a blink of an eye? I decided that he was going to be of no help so I headed home. While driving home anytime I got the chance I would try and glance over at Day T’s file and the strange note he had given me. By the time I reached home it was about nine thirty at night. When I got home to my two bedroom apartment the first thing I did was sit down on my leather sofa turn on the news and start looking threw Day T’s file. I found out that he went to a school in The Bronx an area not too far away from New York City. He was also from the Bronx projects. It also said he was charged with first degree murder of his best friend Shawn. He was raised by a single mother along with three siblings. He was part of a gang from school called the Lions. The last thing it said was that his family could not afford a lawyer and there was no evidence that he was innocent so he was sent straight to jail. Then on the news the crime segment was on. Something caught my attention and made my mouth drop. I heard the news reporter say,
“The NYPD have confirmed that a boy named Day T has ran away from the detention facility he was being held at. The description of him is as follows.”
That was all I needed to hear. I knew what he looked like. I was in so much shock after hearing the news report. Why would he run away? I was trying to help him out of jail. Why would someone not want to get out of jail? Was it such a nice place? I headed to my kitchen to get dinner started then I saw someone sitting in the dining room. I let out a scream and in shock and confusion I said,
“Day T? What are you doing here? How’d you get in my house? Why’d you run away?” All these questions just came out of my mouth. He replied saying,
“I snuck into your car after I gave you the note. Did you read it yet? It’s important that you do. It’ll answer a lot of your questions.” I opened the file and took out his note. I was even more confused than I was before. The note written in messy handwriting said, “Leave me alone I deserve to be in jail if I get out of jail bad stuff will happen you don’t have to prove my innocence. Just leave me alone.” I looked up from the note and said,
“What is this Day T?”
“There’s something you need to know about me. Why I’m in jail and why I can’t get out. This is my story. It was my first day of high school when I joined a gang. We called ourselves the Lions. We weren’t such a bad gang we only stole things of small value or got into a couple of fights. We rarely went to class unless we got caught. One day a guy named Shawn joined our gang. He soon became my best friend. He taught us how to be good and soon we stopped doing the bad things we did. Shawn had a bad past and present. His dad was in jail most of the time. He was in custody of his brother who was involved in the city’s most dangerous gangs and committed crimes almost every day. He made Shawn work three jobs for them to get money and did nothing himself. It was late one day and we were coming home. We were in the dark alley that led to Shawn’s house. Then we saw Shawn’s brother coming towards us. We could tell he was drunk. He kept saying, “where’s my money where’s my money.” Shawn tried to walk past him but then his brother grabbed him by the neck and pushed him against the wall. The other guys ran away saying they’d get help. That left me there. Shawn told me to take out my knife. I asked him what I should do with it. He told me to stab his brother. I told him I can’t. Then his brother came up to me and started saying, “yeah come here come and stab me you’re not going to let me hurt your best friend like that.” Then before I could do anything he took the knife from my hand and stabbed Shawn. Then he said you’re next. Then we heard a police siren and a cruiser approaching. I got happy because I knew they could help me. A police officer came near us with a flash light asking what’s going on here. Before I said anything I turned around and saw that Shawn’s brother was gone. It looked like I had done the whole thing, even though I was innocent.”
“So you didn’t kill Shawn?” I asked.
“How could I have killed him? He was my best friend.”
“So then if you’re innocent why don’t you want my help you to get out of jail?”
“There’s more to my story. I was raised by a single mother along with my three siblings. They’re the only family I have. My mother couldn’t work because she had to take care of my other siblings. I was the only way could get food and water. While the police were taking me down to the station I found a note in my pocket that was slipped in by Shawn’s brother. It said that if I went to jail taking his name he wouldn’t hurt my family and would supply them with money. He said that if I told anyone that he did the crime and escaped from jail he’d kill my family. So I took his name and came to jail taking the blame to protect me family.”
“Wait a minute,” I said. “If you took his name that means that you’re not Day T. You don’t have to worry nothing will happen to your family. You can’t spend years in jail for something you didn’t do.”
“My real name is Mike. Nothing that I just told you can leave this room. I’m not willing to take the risk of losing my family.”
“Nothing will happen. You have to trust me. I could lose my job and end up in jail if I stay quiet about this.”
“I can lose my family if you say anything about this. The choice is yours.” He walked out the door after that. What was I supposed to do? I could risk killing someone’s family and helping someone out of jail or stay quiet about the whole thing and risk losing my job.
Three days had passed and Day T who was actually Mike had been confirmed to have returned to the facility. I headed down to the facility carrying a newspaper showing what my final decision was. I walked inside and looked for Mike. When I found him I gave him the newspaper.
“What’s this?” He asked.
“Read it out loud. You’ll understand.”
He started reading. “The headline says, guilty criminal in jail, innocent one free, and family safe. You didn’t.” He said.
“I did.” I said.

The author's comments:
I wrote this for a mystery story project in grade 8. Hope you enjoy reading it.

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This article has 18 comments.

DoubleS BRONZE said...
on Sep. 20 2010 at 4:09 pm
DoubleS BRONZE, Mississauga, Other
2 articles 0 photos 15 comments
the person narrating is the lawyer i didnt really them :)

on Sep. 20 2010 at 3:18 pm
whatshername GOLD, Carlsbad, California
14 articles 1 photo 112 comments
i cant put my finger on it but something is off about the way this is blends together and is rushed...try developing your characters a little Day T really going to tell everything to the narrator immediatly? or does he require more coaxing to tell his story?

Emmaline said...
on Sep. 20 2010 at 11:07 am
this is a really cool story!!  my only problem is that who is the person telling the story, I didn't get a name or anything, bew more descibtive next time!! 

on Sep. 19 2010 at 11:05 pm
AgnotTheOdd GOLD, Aptos, California
17 articles 0 photos 315 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The reason for your unreasonable treatment of my reason so enfeebles my reason that I have reason to complain of your reason" ~ Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

This seemed like an interesting concept.

However, I wasn't gripped really.  Sorry I can't be more specific.

on Sep. 19 2010 at 3:43 pm
Just.A.Dream SILVER, Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
7 articles 0 photos 431 comments

Favorite Quote:
Part of the J7X team. :)

I like the plot. :) The ending gave me some hope. And I agree with the person who said you were mentioning New York too much. Just tone that down a bit and when this is edited, like you said it was, it could be an absolutely amazing story! This has some true potential! Good job and keep up the good writing!

DoubleS BRONZE said...
on Sep. 18 2010 at 5:12 pm
DoubleS BRONZE, Mississauga, Other
2 articles 0 photos 15 comments
about all the details since it was for a skool project our teacher wanted there to be details and discription but i understand  if ur reading it just for fun it may be too much

We-R-3 BRONZE said...
on Sep. 18 2010 at 4:38 pm
We-R-3 BRONZE, Orlando, Florida
1 article 0 photos 344 comments

Favorite Quote:
A picture is worth a thousand words, however it takes a real artist to turn words into pictures.

Have you heard about the new Lebron Iphone, you have to set it on vibrate because it doesn't have any rings

Really interesting story, but you need to be fully awake to read through the details, I love it and I love details, but most audiences don't and I am feeling particularly sluggish today.

DoubleS BRONZE said...
on Sep. 18 2010 at 11:19 am
DoubleS BRONZE, Mississauga, Other
2 articles 0 photos 15 comments
thanx very much :)

DoubleS BRONZE said...
on Sep. 18 2010 at 11:18 am
DoubleS BRONZE, Mississauga, Other
2 articles 0 photos 15 comments
well in the ending what happens is tht the newspaper article says guilty criminal in jail,innocent one free meaning the lawyer told the truth and put shawn's brother in jail and now Day T who is innocent is now free hope this clarified the ending thanx for ur comments :D

Isiska said...
on Sep. 17 2010 at 11:10 pm
Isiska, Kota Samarahan, Other
0 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live like you're dying....

One more thing..... I like this one. There is a storyline. The name are pretty catchy... why didn't I think of a name like that? There are settings, flashbacks, narratives, dialogues, the plot..... Good job!

Isiska said...
on Sep. 17 2010 at 11:06 pm
Isiska, Kota Samarahan, Other
0 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live like you're dying....

 I faced the same problem too. It is good that you have the effort to send another one with the correct format.

on Sep. 17 2010 at 8:06 pm
apocalyptigirl BRONZE, Staunton, Virginia
4 articles 2 photos 285 comments

Favorite Quote:
"DON'T PANIC." ~from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

I have to say I'm a little confused about what happened with the ending. The wording of the headline made it unclear whether he had covered up or come out with the real story. As a general note, this has too much trivial detail that slows down the action of the story, especially in the beginning. Also, when Day T. is narrating the murder of his best friend, you may want to put in a bit more emotion. I mean, right now it's just, "Yeah he killed my friend and I got blamed, I love my family and don't want them to get hurt if I tell the truth." We get the narration, but really very little impression of his feelings. If I were him, I'd be mad, sad, maybe guilty even, confused...This is the danger with 1st person. The narrator feels real; his client doesn't.

DoubleS BRONZE said...
on Sep. 17 2010 at 9:11 am
DoubleS BRONZE, Mississauga, Other
2 articles 0 photos 15 comments
thanx for the comments guys a lot of ppl r saying with the editing what happend was u know how u post the story so i just copied and pasted it from microsoft word where i had it edited into paragraphs and stuff but i didint notice tht the same format didnt show up here but i accidently sent teen ink another copy where it is formatted properly into paragraphs and stuff so hopefully if tht gets posted its easier to read but thanx anyways

Thing1 said...
on Sep. 17 2010 at 7:02 am
Thing1, Fayetteville, North Carolina
0 articles 0 photos 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
'If there is a book you really want to read that hasn't been written, then you must write it' ~ Toni Morrison
' Stupid is as stupid does' ~ Forrest Gump

Very good! I love the plot, awesome work! You should continue this =D

AsIAm PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 17 2010 at 6:32 am
AsIAm PLATINUM, Somewhere, North Carolina
48 articles 3 photos 608 comments

Favorite Quote:
"According to some, heroic deaths are admirable things. (Generally those who don't have to do it. Politicians and writers spring to mind.) I've never been convinced by this argument, mainly because, no matter how cool, stylish, composed, unflappable, manly, or defiant you are, at the end of the day you're also dead. Which is a little too permanent for my liking." — Jonathan Stroud (Ptolemy's Gate)

The Good:  This was a great story!  It had a creative and good plot, and I really enjoyed reading it.  Keep up the good work!

The Bad: It could use some editing, as well as more showing details, since you spend a lot of time TELLING the reader what is happening.  Also, the ending is a little vague.  It is a really important development in the story, so you may want to bulk it out a bit. ;)

The random:  I think this has the makings of a really good story!  Keep up the good work!


on Sep. 17 2010 at 6:26 am
NeverCaredForKool-Aid GOLD, Elkridge, Maryland
13 articles 0 photos 531 comments

Favorite Quote:
I don't believe in hell but I believe in my parent's couch-- Watsky

I think this was pretty good :)  I liked everything expect for 2 little things-

1- some of your detail was not nessecary.  In the beginning you kept on saying over and over "New York City", you only need to say it once, then your setting is established.  Day the guard-Jonh dude was reading the news paper instead of the New York Time.  Say he was wearing a baseball cap instead of a Yankee's cap.  Or better yet, have it be from some other team- things like that can build a character very suttley.

2-  This was just a little piece of mis-information in the story.  Bronx isn't near New York City, it's one of the burrows.

4 stars good job :)

on Sep. 17 2010 at 2:07 am
Healing_Angel SILVER, Sydney, Other
8 articles 2 photos 513 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live for today, not for tomorrow

OK. This definitly has a the makings of a great story, but it just needs a small bit of editing(nothing major). Change "threw" into "through" and put in paragraohs as it's a bit hard to read left the way it is. Once again, great story! You should definitly continue this!! I want to know what happens next!

DoubleS BRONZE said...
on Sep. 16 2010 at 8:42 pm
DoubleS BRONZE, Mississauga, Other
2 articles 0 photos 15 comments
id appreciate comments thanx :D


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