Inside my mind

July 10, 2010
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Upon the tenth hour of the night I peeled back the blankets of my bed and slid delicately between the cool fabrics. The mattress gently caressed my sore body and tired head until my solid form felt like it had turned to a liquid state. I played future movie reels inside my head, letting all worries of the day be forgotten in my fantasies. I let them play until they turned strange and bizarre then I knew I was asleep. I lost all conscious thought.

My contemplations turn from developing dramas and plots to a much deeper set of visions. Before my mind’s eye now lay a valley. Its sides were covered in lush green grass just the way I would wish the image to look like. However, the lighting was a dark crimson red and I looked up to see what caused this strange phenomenon. The sky was not its usual blue hue but covered in a giant red cloth lit thoroughly by something other than the sun. In front of me lay a circular wall.
This night I finally contacted my Nacual, my dream self just as the ancient Toltecs did in their mysterious temples and palaces. This night I was seeing the inner workings of my mind.
I walked up to the wall and laid my hand on its smooth surface. It was surprisingly warm for something constantly blocked from the sun. I wondered what was inside and how I could get in. As soon as this was thought a door opened in front of me and I realized that, this being my mind, I could create anything I wanted here. It opened to stairs that led into darkness. I hesitated not knowing if I should risk braving this unknown place or turn around and give up. Giving up, though, was not an option and I took my first step down into the abyss.
The first thing I noticed going down was how cold it became contrasting with the outside. Then the stairs gave way to a hallway. In each wall there were three doors. I walked up to the first door on the right and tested the knob, it opened with ease. Inside, a single light bulb lit up the room, in the center lay an exact replica of the outside but before I could approach it to see what was inside a voice called out. “Stop! Don’t come any closer”. I obeyed the voice’s command, frightened by it. “Where are you?” I asked loudly. “Who are you?”
“Can’t answer that” It replied but another voice joined in “Why can’t we tell her?” The voices lowered into uncompressible muttering. Seeing that this was going nowhere, I silently backed out of the room and back into the hall. The door opposite to that room was locked and the other two were empty. I went up to the last two. They were both wooden oak doors wrapped in thick chains, unlike the others which were plain white with a golden knob. On the one I was facing was carved the message DO NOT ENTER in large block letters. I turned to face the other door. On it was the same message but written backwards ENTER DO NOT. Silly I thought and turned back to the original door. I pushed all my weight into it until opened with a foreboding creak. I looked inside, and like the door in the wall, it was pitch black with a flight of stairs running down to unseen lengths. Much braver than I was before I put out a foot to enter. Before I could continue however a large cracking noise pulled me back. I spun around to see what was happening. The door with the reflexive message had crumbled into dust and a long, chilling scream came out of the black hole that remained.
I ran down the flight of steps blind with fear and adrenaline. I did not stop until I reached level ground. There I sat down heaving from lack of oxygen, blood pounding in my ears, my entire body felt as if on fire. I lay on what was now cool cement until I felt my body return to a state of normalcy if such a word could be used in such a warped world. Feeling much like Alice in Lewis Carroll’s Wonderland, I stood up and viewed the scene before me. Another hall lay in front of me but it had no doors, instead the hall branched off into other halls twisting away and hiding their secrets. On the walls graffiti had been painted. Stick figures formed quaint pictures that turned into grotesque scenes each bearing the title Happy Birthday. On one wall a large red arrow was scrawled with black words saying THIS WAY. Not knowing what else to do I followed the arrow and a series of arrows to come. The stick figures on the wall turned into more skilled and detailed scribbling but the themes never changed. This went on for an unknown distance and time until I came upon a small one-room cottage in the middle of the pathway. I entered with ease. Inside it was devoid of all furniture except for a small, plain, wooden table. I walked up to it and found on it was an opened envelope. I picked it up and looked inside. The envelope contained two things; a letter and a key. The letter I skimmed over and picked up the two words Happy Birthday. I put the letter down and placed the key inside my pant pocket. I made my way to the back of the cottage and entered back into the hall through the back door.
At this point I heard water but did not see the source. I concluded that it had to be at the center of the maze. I soldiered on and the red arrows continued to guide me.
A shadow passed on the wall next to me. I froze; was something in here with me? I turned slowly, petrified with the thought of what I might have to face. Nothing was there. I relaxed, though only slightly, and continued my walk. A few steps later the shadow appeared again and disappeared just as fast. At this point my fear turned into annoyance and I moved to face my pursuer, but any thought of resistance flew out of my head like a flock of birds when I saw the source of the shadow. It was the shape of a woman clothed completely in a crimson cloak with only the face showing. The face was gruesomely demented, the eyes sunken and the skin rutted with scars, wrinkles and blemishes. There was no humanity in that face, only the coalition of all things evil. It stood completely still allowing me to stare at its face in horror. It took only some time to realize what that face was; a replica of mine. I opened my mouth and attempted a scream but no sound came out. The creature took a step towards me.
My eyes open to see a white stucco ceiling. The dream had ended and I smiled in relief. It was all an illusion. I got out of bed to begin a new day when I felt weight in my pant pocket. I stuck my hand in and pulled out the key.





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