Full Moon | Teen Ink

Full Moon

July 9, 2010
By SammiLukan BRONZE, Honolulu, Hawaii
SammiLukan BRONZE, Honolulu, Hawaii
2 articles 4 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
Try a thing you haven’t done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time, to figure out whether you like it or not.


- Virgil Garnett Thomson


The wind whispers secrets, tickling my ears in the cold of night and hushes my heavy breathes. With sore eyes from haunted dreams I stare down at my feet. Both are buried in a mess of mud. Between my toes I feel the slosh of wet earth as I wiggle myself free and stand upright. I’d thought it was only a dream yet here I stand surrounded by cold trees uncaring of my panicked, racing heart.

My mind is working overtime to collect a memory of walking to this dark spot, yet it is either forgotten or unknown. When a strong wind overtakes me it sends my colorful pajama shorts slashing at my legs and tank top ripping against my stomach. My numb body stumbled forward, in that direction I began to walk.

Dead night was not a favored time to be lost in the woods. For several paces I felt my way through the dark until my eyes had time to adjust. When I was able to properly see I found that not much farther ahead stood a lone cabin almost hidden in the trees if not for the blood red door begging for me to take a look inside.

Moving forward I reached up my hand to knock but it parted. Slightly at first, the door opened, I could sense I hadn’t made contact with the painted wood so I stood a step back.


“You poor dear, are you lost child?” A voice, crooked with age, spoke out from the shadows of the unlit cabin. She moved forward into the light of the night provided by a full moon. This sent me another step back into the woods. Her face was melted in wrinkles and silver bullet eyes bore into mine which most described as a lively green. Ratty gray hair bunched on top the old woman’s head and she reached out a hand to me.

The last words I heard that night, “Wont you come inside.”


The author's comments:
Hey, I'm really looking for some feedback. I've never posted my writing anywhere and any comments would be really helpful. Thanks :)

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This article has 8 comments.


on Aug. 26 2010 at 9:11 pm
SammiLukan BRONZE, Honolulu, Hawaii
2 articles 4 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
Try a thing you haven’t done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time, to figure out whether you like it or not.


- Virgil Garnett Thomson

I'm so unbelievably happy you got the chance to read it, I would be no where with my writing if it wasn't for you

rfullmer said...
on Aug. 26 2010 at 7:49 pm
Wow! Your descriptions and word choice do such a great job of creating a dark and ominous tone for your story. It was really great to read your writing and I hope to see more stories in the future! 

on Jul. 22 2010 at 5:19 pm
SammiLukan BRONZE, Honolulu, Hawaii
2 articles 4 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
Try a thing you haven’t done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time, to figure out whether you like it or not.


- Virgil Garnett Thomson

Thank you so much!!

Defne1414 said...
on Jul. 22 2010 at 11:06 am
What a great short story!  The end is skillfully bleak & disheartening.  Also, I like your turn of phrase in aot of instances, eg: "Dead night was not a favored time to be lost in the woods." or "My numb body stumbled forward, in that direction I began to walk."  Your syntax and use of some words is unusual and I think this is more expressive in the kind of story you're constructing.  Please dont stop, I want to hear more!

merklin said...
on Jul. 21 2010 at 3:37 pm
this is a great story! so much detail. you did a wonderful job sam. this is the one that deffinitly should of made it(:

on Jul. 21 2010 at 2:26 pm
SammiLukan BRONZE, Honolulu, Hawaii
2 articles 4 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
Try a thing you haven’t done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time, to figure out whether you like it or not.


- Virgil Garnett Thomson

No I'm not continuing it. Honestly I couldn't think of a better fitting title. Full Moon was convenient because it was already written in the story and the whole thing is the character not having total control of her body (ex. waking up somewhere in the woods) which supposedly fits with stories about the Full Moon taking control

on Jul. 21 2010 at 11:02 am
NeverCaredForKool-Aid GOLD, Elkridge, Maryland
13 articles 0 photos 531 comments

Favorite Quote:
I don't believe in hell but I believe in my parent's couch-- Watsky

Nicely written and it has a great mood.  I applaud your vocab and detail.  The one thing I don't understand is the title.  The moon wasn't really a big part of the story, are you planning on continueing?

tmcrim said...
on Jul. 20 2010 at 4:33 pm
I'm very proud of you for getting your work out there & I have nothing but wonderful things to say about you & your writing. I hope you'll be posting more of your work in the near future. I'm one of the lucky people to know you personally & think you're a fabulously talented individual! XOX