If Only

June 20, 2010
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The funny thing about people is that their harsh laughs never seem to disappear. They act like I can’t hear them whisper about me. They think I don’t care when they punch my face and break my bones unmercifully. This is my third school so far, so you can say I don't belong. The other funny part is that they actually think I don't care. Ever since mom died, a force field kept me separated from everyone around me, I care a lot more than I used to. When she was alive, I would always come home crying and her soft, sweet voice would always calm me down. Her words would help me wash the pain away after I was kicked back down so many times. But, last year, there was an accident. And accident not even a murderer deserved. Her murderer is still unknown to the world. When I get a job I'm going to be a detective so I can solve the murder of my mother. That sicko isn’t getting a free pass.

At school that force field kept me from having friends. Every time I tried to diffuse it, it hurled me back. My mother had always told me that their jealous of me. But when I see their appalled faces as I walk by, I know it’s a lie. If I could find a school where I could fit in I would but now it's just a small day dream. Oh yes, by the way, my name is Lia Welpk. Welcome to my nightmare, just don‘t make it become yours too…

* * *

“Weird, I’ve never been in this part of the town before.” Kari raised a skinny eyebrow. I could easily count the tan wrinkles that scorched her young face. She drove a simple white truck, nothing too fancy.

This too is like a virtual world. Green groves of trees were spread out among the road, a few buildings stood in between them. White opaque clouds swam up ahead peacefully. The sun shown but it was hidden among the lush green branches of the scenery.

“Yeah a lot of people haven’t. This providence is owned by Spekmen.Cesario is just a coffee shop of its turf.” Kari uttered, never taking her eyes off the road. “Oh, Spekmen, Lia, is an all boy’s high school.” Her voice was neutral, never happy nor sad. Just there. Kari’s black wide eyes turned to mine. I nodded my head once but Kari didn‘t notice.

Spekmen huh? “Hey Kari what is Spekmen like?” I need a new beginning. This just might be my only chance. Butterflies flew in my stomach as they thought of the idea of a new start, a different identify.

“Oh please don’t tell me,” Kari said nonchalantly, knowing exactly what I meant.

Suddenly, almost simultaneously, a man literally appeared in front of the road. A gun in his hand, his finger tight on the trigger.

The safety off.

Where did he come from? His long silver hair, the pointed chin, and the wide light purple eyes made him look like a myth. He was handsome but it only seemed like a glamour. The bloodlust in his eyes sent shivers down my spine. The hair on my arms stood on end. He stared at me, his eyes ancient and secretive. He stared at me in no way possible to describe.

Unreal and yet he stood only meters away. No one was on the road but him. Nothing stood around Kari and me but him.

“Holy…” Kari screeched to a stop but she was faded away too. The break thrashed to a stop, hitting the floor of the car with an earsplitting thump.

Worry, fear, and confusion swelled up inside my soul. My anxious breathing speed out of control. There was no noise but the nervous beating of my heart.

A high pitched squeal burned inside my ears. Seconds later I realized it was mine. I gasped for breath but it didn’t do any good. I reached for my cell
phone but it was vanished too. Every thing was gone except for me and that man in front of Kari’s car.

“I must be hallucinating, yeah that’s it.” My voice cracked and trembled as I tried to convince my self that I was just turning officially insane. I tried to keep my voice steady but it thrashed between octaves and cracked into a child’s sob. My eyes twirled to the wind shield again.

There was nothing there. No road, no air, no nothing. Not even color could save me now.

I tried screaming again without thinking. Warm, clammy hands covered my mouth tightly. I could hear my jaw cracking from the pressure. He was on
top of me. His fast, heated breath on my face. His devilish eyes staring into mine. His silver hair trailed my face and arms. I tried to look away but I couldn’t. His other hand held against my forehead kept me from moving. The only thing I could feel was fear coming across every corner. Adrenaline kicked in but it was no help. This guy was stronger than any man.

This is no man. No man can do this sort of thing. He’s like a nightmare come true.

I had once believed that I had hated people before. But no. This was hatred.

I attempted to swing my arm out and punch him right in the mouth. But all I got in return was cruel chuckling. “Leave now. You have no idea what I am capable of. Leave now before I kill you and your friend.”

And with that he was gone and it was like he was never even here. I looked around, my head was still dizzy. I could hear the wheels squeal along the road. The world was back and Kari sat beside me driving once again. Just like nothing had ever happened? Was it a hallucination? My heart bet faster and faster.

No it wasn’t. It couldn’t have been

“Are you okay? You don’t look so good…” Kari said, her lips pressed into a hard line. She pressed her cold hand on my forehead like she was
checking for a fever.

“M’ fine. Hey do you think you can enroll me into Spekmen,” deciding to forget the nightmare for only a short minute.

“Uh no, it’s an all boys school.” Kari told me in an obvious sarcastic tone.

“So? ‘Sides I have feeling I should go there.”

No leave now. Leave now Lia. The same voice called inside my head and it wasn’t me who was thinking it.

“I’ll see what I can do. Just Let me call Ana first. We got a makeover to do.” Kari Fray smiled a smile which instantly told me that she would be on my side no matter what.

One hand on the wheel, Kari reached for her phone and dialed a random number. Her brown hair creating a screen in front of her tan face. “Hey Ana, we got us a makeover to do… No it’s different this time…Shut up, I’ll show you when we get there. Calm down.”

Oh this is going to be fun. You actually think you can pull this of, huh? Fine, but I will be waiting for you to fall. You decided not to leave, you can take consequences.

The voice continued to dance inside my head.

Join the Discussion

This article has 27 comments. Post your own now!

Ebonykitty said...
Feb. 3, 2011 at 6:40 am
I loooved it! This could make an amazing novel--definitley one I would buy! Please write more!
AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 20, 2010 at 7:07 am

The Good:  This was an intriguing idea, and it was very fun to read.  Your imagery was good, and the whole thing was very cool and unique.  You should write a sequel. :)

The Bad:  You left out some important details, like is the main character a girl or a guy?  Also you had a few errors.  However, none of these things are major, and I thought it was a good story!

The Random: The purple-haired-evil-dude kind of reminded me of the shade Darza in Erago... (more »)

_Elsy_ replied...
Sept. 20, 2010 at 3:46 pm
thank you, and the character is a girl (sorry about that) and i've read some chapters of eragon in 5th grade but i have no idea who Darza is
squidzinkpen said...
Aug. 11, 2010 at 9:10 am
I love the last line! And this is a very relateable story. I posted another comment below, but I forgot to mention everything else I had in mind, ha, my bad. I really like the way you had the first paragraph, it really just set up the story and gave it its tone. Nicely done!
_Elsy_ replied...
Aug. 15, 2010 at 9:52 pm
thank you, and this was just something i wrote in about five minutes. I knew it wouldn't be that great.
iluvnacho said...
Aug. 10, 2010 at 8:18 pm
it very much capture my attention. I want to know more.
squidzinkpen said...
Aug. 10, 2010 at 6:09 pm
Well just looking over it, without reading first, I noticed that you have many, very short, paragraphs. A bit too much diolague is something that we all do and have to watch out for as writers. You don't have to explain everything in your writing through diolague. Perhaps leaving a bit of a vague desription as opposed to diolague would bring more depth and maturity to your writing, which is already quite good! Don't get me wrong! I'm NOT insulting you, just telling you something that someone tol... (more »)
JohnWallOfTheWizards said...
Jul. 29, 2010 at 12:12 am
so I don't should not be there, I was writing something else and changed my mind srry.
JohnWallOfTheWizards said...
Jul. 29, 2010 at 12:09 am

I read your favourite qoutes so I don't. So this analogy will hit home, don't start a story with my name is, unless your wik-a-wik-a slim shady :D. I really like the story and the opening besides that one part I mentioned was really good. I f you moved the name somewhere else it sould really make that begining sound better. Awesome piece is there more.


_Elsy_ replied...
Aug. 6, 2010 at 4:31 pm
thank you, and i know what you mean by the name being there.
katie-cat said...
Jul. 26, 2010 at 6:58 pm
Okay, I think you have real potential as a writer.  Some of the descriptions you used were very good, sometimes excellent, and well thought out.  But, I felt like it was very choppy and I noticed a couple of grammatical errors.  Sometimes the story felt like it was going to spiral out of control.  I mean you have to have some common ground.  Is it simply a murder mystery?  A fantasy?  Now, this part is just my own opinion, but I don't think you have t... (more »)
_Elsy_ replied...
Jul. 26, 2010 at 7:39 pm

thank you, and it is a fantasy but the small murder story is linked to everything else -revealed in other chapters that haven't been posted- the guy in front of the car is the guy that killed Lia's mother, to distract Lia.

weird, i wrote this story long before i read the mortal instruments. And i never noticed the name smilarity.

iDogrocker replied...
Aug. 9, 2010 at 4:56 pm
I'm going to have to agree with katie-cat on the grammar/story thing. I realize a story can sometimes develop a mind of its own, but you have to stay in control as the writer. Don't let rogue ideas get the best of you. Write them down in another place so that, if you get the chance, you can incorporate them into the story later. Be careful with spelling and using the right words in different places. Double check meanings if you're not quite sure. The thesaurus/dictionary is your friend!! Otherwi... (more »)
deka9 said...
Jul. 19, 2010 at 12:38 am

Oooh, I like this! It is quite intriguing.

So I have the same problems, and so don't be discourage. Just watch out for the changes of your tenses and punctuations.

"Welcome to my nightmare, just don't make it yours too..." I think omitting "become" sounds a lot smoother.

So the intro sounds like she's in high school around Freshmen to Sophomore, but she has a friend who can drive and has wrinkles? On top of that, her friend can help her enroll into an all boy school? I do... (more »)

_Elsy_ replied...
Jul. 20, 2010 at 8:50 am
yeah this story is a weird one, the beginning part is the prolouge and the last bit is another chapter. So sorry, its a bit confusing. And the voices in her head is the person that was infront of her car. I hope that makes more since now for you.
lusis said...
Jul. 17, 2010 at 7:30 pm
Ooh, I really like the last line. I hope you write more!
xcrayolaxstormx said...
Jul. 17, 2010 at 10:05 am
I really liked this. It's a real cliffhanger. You should write another! :D
Nicovera said...
Jul. 8, 2010 at 3:23 pm
Have you read Maximum Ride? The "Welcome to my nightmare..." is straight from the prologue from the first book. But again, interesting comcept. You seem to have a little trouble with they're there and their. I know people who have no idea what the difference is between them and just pick one and go with it. Your writing would flow a lot more and be less distracting if the little things (like typos, grammatical errors and wordplay) were fixed, and they're often things that should be picked up by ... (more »)
_Elsy_ replied...
Jul. 8, 2010 at 3:34 pm
thanks, Lol i need a grammer nazi - in my blood there is jambled (misspelled) words that somehow just mix together into a typoed story
i.ll_be_fine_899 said...
Jul. 5, 2010 at 9:45 am
*gasp* this story was real interesting!!! so are you not gonna write more or what?? anyway, the descriptions/word choice in here was grreaat!! good workk
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