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Awakening

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The moonlight shimmered on the water’s surface. The cool summer air wisped around me as I sat on the beach, staring into the water. I was looking at my reflection in the water; it showed me, the mask I chose to wear and not what is hidden behind. I liked what I saw, but there was no reason for me not to. If I am going to choose who I am, I would have no intention of making it something I don’t like. The longer I stare into the water; I can see more of me. I now can see the pain hidden behind my cerulean eyes. Deep sadness and longing are hidden within my face. All of these things are well hidden behind the mask that I created.

A breeze caused a ripple in the water, erasing the current depiction of me. The water settled and I could only see me. I stood up and looked up at the moon, then out across the water. I longed for the freedom of removing my mask, to be who I am. I thought it better to keep up this charade as this way I could be who I wanted to be, but I wasn’t happy this way.

A larger gust of wind caused the water to ripple again, and the trees behind me were rustling in the wind. I decided that I should leave so I stood up and walked across the beach, heading toward the road. I began walking down the ill lit road.

A car zoomed past me heading in the opposite direction. I looked at the car as it drove by and it startled me, I had seen me sitting in the passenger seat. I stood there dumbfounded until another car drove by, almost hitting me as it swerved down the road.

I looked up at the sky only to see no stars and only the gentle light of the moon. The moon to me was an unchanging sign of life, it was something that was a security for me. I knew that whenever the sun went down I would see the moon in the night sky.

I walked up my driveway, a light from the upstairs window illuminating the dark. I unlocked the door and threw my keys onto the end table. I walked into the living room only to myself sitting on the couch. I looked at mirror image of me sitting on the couch and then at myself. I looked real but so did he.

My mind raced back to about five minutes ago. ‘I saw myself sitting in that car. The other car had made me completely forget. Is this real or am I dreaming? No, this is completely real but why am I seeing myself?’ I was deep in thought when I was interrupted by myself standing up and answering my question as if he knew what I was thinking but then again he probably did no because he was supposedly me.

“You are correct you aren’t dreaming. I am you and you are me. I’ll try to explain this without confusing you. I am a part of you, the part of you that you shut out from existence. I am everything that you didn’t want to be, you covered me up, and you buried me deep inside of you. I got out after all this time.” He told me, his voice lacking any emotion at all.

“But how did you escape? What are you going to do?” I asked with fear and my entire body trembling.

“How I did what I did has no importance and I’m not going to tell you. What I am going to do is show you everything you have hidden from yourself, everything that you have hidden in me.” He answered, once again without any feeling.

A chill shot down my spine as he walked over to me. He slowly rose up and tapped my forehead. I feel and braced myself for hitting the floor but it never came. I continued falling, through the floor and into the black abyss. I then was standing upright in my old house from when I was fifteen.

I heard the tapping of shoes against a wood floor. I drew up the gun in my hand, and I couldn’t put it down no matter how much I tried. Tears were streaming down my face because I could not stop myself. The man walked around the corner and my fingers closed around the trigger.

“No! Stop it, please stop it” I pleaded before the gun went off, I knew who my victim was. My victim was a burglar who had broken in. The pain from taking a person’s life felt as if I was dying.

The pain of killing someone was replaced by the happiness of when I spent the week with my friend’s family in Florida. My high school graduation appeared next, everything I had hidden from myself was reappearing, and the pain from reliving every moment was unbearable.

I was now at a funeral and I couldn’t take any more of it. I was screaming and screaming for it to stop. I begged and begged but I wasn’t helped. I finally was screaming and crying at the same time from my pain until I had fallen again into that black abyss.

“You may already understand why I did this to you.” The other me said as I snapped back to the present, standing in my living room, staring at the copy of myself. “If you don’t understand why, you will very quickly, but now you must rest.” He told me as once again he tapped my head and this time I fell into the welcoming darkness. Before I fell asleep though I heard him tell me something, “I was sent here to awaken you, to bring you to reality. I showed you who you are and you must accept it otherwise everything I did was for nothing”

I was jolted awake and I woke by the beach. The moon was still in the sky. The craziest dream I thought that I had. I looked across the water to see nothing but water. I looked at the water and saw my reflection. The pain hidden in my eyes was gone. Sadness and longing were disappeared from within my face. The mask I wore to cover myself had been shed and I had left it behind. I was who I truly am. The person who I truly was had forced myself to awaken to reality and accept that I needed to be who I am. I smiled at that concept; I smiled the first real smile in a long time.



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