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Innocence

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My innocence was taken at the age of twelve. I still have nightmares about that night. I can smell his breath, mint and cherries; I see his face, leaning in, his eyes searching for some glimmer that I might want this as much as him; I hear his ragged voice telling me “shh…it’s all going to be ok…only a few minutes…that’s all I’m asking for.” My heart is racing. I know exactly what is happening yet I cannot stop him. He’s bigger, stronger, more desperate then I had ever been. He tells me he will be gentle if I don’t cry out. Even if I had something to say, my dry mouth would not permit me uttering a single word. It was dark and I couldn’t quite make out his face, but those eyes…something familier. He slipped his hands underneath my shirt. I cringed away but he held my arms fast and steady. He undid my clasp. Everything was slipping away under his touch. I was sweating, but I grew cold as the seconds passed. The cold air chilled me to the bone. He threw off my shoes and socks. Nothing seemed to stop his hurried, determined persistence. I stiffened as he dropped each garment into a pile of my clothing next to us. He stroked my cheek in what he must have thought was a soothing manner, tipped my head back and began to kiss my neck.


He left me lying there. He did not bother to re-cloth me, not that it really mattered. I had gone numb to the cold ground, numb to the entirety of my surroundings. My body felt as if it no longer belonged to me. I looked at my fingers. They moved. Was I doing that or was it of their own accord? No matter. Me, or what was left of me, dragged its aching limbs up into a standing position. The clothes next to me were soiled. I was no longer the girl who had worn them minutes before. I looked around once more, remembering the pain, the anger, the sorrow this place had just inflicted upon me.


I walked back to my brother’s car. He must be off with some of his friends. Thankfully, his keys were left in the ignition. It was unlike him to be quite so careless. I stood there staring at the car. Was I worthy of trying to step back into my old place of being? A large bolt of lightning made the decision for me and I slowly made my way into the passenger seat. There was a blanket in the back seat and I swaddled my aching body into its soft folds. Sleep over came me and the next thing I remember was Jonah throwing open his car door with a burst of laughter from his friends. He glanced at me in the backseat nervously, probably thinking I was still asleep. He said his goodbyes, which usually consisted of a lot of back smacking, knuckle punches, and finally inched his way into the driver ’s seat.


As his car pulled away from the curb, I sat up and looked at him. In the rear - view mirror, all I could make out were his eyes.


“Jonah. I know it was you.”




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This article has 43 comments. Post your own!

forevermore147 said...
May 22, 2012 at 1:40 pm:

 you are my new favorite author

 

 
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kimberdawn said...
Feb. 14, 2012 at 10:08 am:
Holy Cow!!! Thats...WOW!!! I love how mysterious you make this. I would have never expected this ending. You are fantastic!!! WOW!!!
 
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Alon_Freevoice said...
Jul. 31, 2011 at 3:28 am:
This is abso bloody lutely fantastico!!!
 
roxymutt replied...
Oct. 15, 2011 at 9:20 pm :
thank you so much! im so sorry it took so long for me to respond!!! i appreciate your comment greatly though
 
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Stpaulian said...
May 5, 2011 at 8:38 pm:
Amazing. Just amazing. Other stories like this are heart breaking, but don't have that shock quality at the end. Don't stop this was really stop and I hope theres more coming.
 
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AlyxLeon said...
Oct. 28, 2010 at 11:16 am:
Holy, wow. That was just wow. I'm reading this while in history class and my mouth literally dropped open at the ending. My teacher looked at me oddly and asked what was wrong. I told her nothing and quickly switched tabs on the laptop. That was seriously wow. I like the twist. Well, not like I like it like like it. It's just a good twist that I haven't really seen so it was very unexpected. :)   I agree with some of the other commenters, you should do a follow up story or something. E... (more »)
 
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GemValley250This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 25, 2010 at 9:08 am:
SCARY!! That was fantastic but petrifying!(I probably speit that wrong but who cares) this is class, keep writing i can't wait to hear more!!!
 
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AgingerThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 10, 2010 at 12:36 am:
This is horrifying! It was terrible yet so good! The twist at the end was great, yet it completely chills me. Nice work
 
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-xxxRosiexxx-This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 1, 2010 at 5:34 pm:
omg! own brother?! gross but amazing story!
 
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LASwan said...
Sept. 26, 2010 at 7:24 pm:
Wow. This is terrifying. You could really address some issues and move mountains with your talent. Keep it up.
 
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Lizz17 said...
Aug. 11, 2010 at 5:21 pm:
I'm actually sorta confused but that's okay. It was amazing anyways.
 
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kspinit said...
Aug. 3, 2010 at 4:41 pm:
This was so so so so so so so good. i loved every moment of it. Usually stories like this have a great beggining, but a weak end. and cant keep a persons interest. but yours was the complete opicite. it was just bone chilling. i love it so much. its just amazing.<33
 
writergirl13 replied...
Aug. 30, 2010 at 10:38 am :
I agree completely, especially with how you said that stories like this often have very strong, captivating beginnings but weak ends,  but this definitely had a strong beginning and a strong end that leaves the reader wanting more. 
 
writergirl13 replied...
Aug. 30, 2010 at 10:39 am :
I do hope, though, that this was not written from personal experience. that would be simply a horrible memory!
 
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inksplatters21 said...
Jul. 27, 2010 at 10:21 am:
This piece was awesome...i'm sure a lot of girls will appreciate this.  Please read/comment my work, thanks!
 
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gymbabe This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 8, 2010 at 8:08 pm:
This.  Was.  Amazing.  There is scarcely anything else to say.  So realistic and revolting, which I assume was the desired effect.  It was extremely well-written and grabbing.  The last part just blew me away.  Wow.  You're incredible!
 
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socrchik33 said...
Jul. 6, 2010 at 4:39 pm:
oh. my. gosh. this was...AMAZING! i cannot get over this piece. i did not expect the ending at all and it really was shocking-thats what made it so good :) ur writing style is great and creative. i love this article so much!! never stop writing :)
 
roxymutt replied...
Jul. 6, 2010 at 10:06 pm :
ha oh thankyou so much taht means a TON to me!!! :DDD i am so glad you liked it
 
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EmmaNemma said...
Jun. 30, 2010 at 8:32 am:
This was really good. You made it seem as though I was actually the one remembering it. I especially like the last line. I never saw it coming and it was the best ending you could have thought of.
 
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DemonXxXchild903 said...
Jun. 29, 2010 at 2:23 pm:
:-O OMG! How sad! Great job! You're very good at showing and not telling.
 
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