Panicked and Gone

May 15, 2010
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He told me to pack my bags now because it was a matter of life and death. Get your laptop, your inhaler, and toothbrush, don't forget the hairbrush and bra, the undies and clothes. Go get it now.

My father just came, he just came out of nowhere. It wasn't a Saturday, so I wasn't supposed to see him. It was a Wednesday and my mom was gone for work, so she wasn't there. He came and rang the doorbell consistently. INsistently. We opened the door and he barged in, barking at us to pack our luggage, we're leaving. It's life. Or death. Just GO.

We raced around the apartment, looking for things we needed. I took things up, then dropped it, thinking I wouldn't need it. Was I coming back? I didn't have time to ask, so I didn't, but I wanted to bring my notebook--I didn't want to leave that behind. Scotch tape? No, I'm sure there's scotch tape where he's taking me.

I then thought about my mother and what she would say if she came home to find that her daughters weren't home and in replacement, a messy apartment where clothes and scotch tape were strewn all over the floor. Would she cry? Would she call us? She would call us--don't forget the cellphone.

We tore the luggage out of the closet, and Sally's favorite bracelet broke in the rush. She started crying, Daddy, where are we going I don't want to leave my bracelet it broke. SHUT UP do you not understand we have to GO? He shook her like a rag doll and she fell to the floor. I went to her and looked at my father, Dad, you're out of control, stop it. I took Sally up into my arms, it's alright, just pack. It'll be alright, because I'll be right here.

As soon as we got all of our belongings we needed (we left the schoolwork and the textbooks, the yearbooks and pictures, the dance shoes, we left my books and my library card, we even left my college binder), we headed out for the door. My father he said wait, let me go first. He went first and there was a BOOM I looked around the corner, he was hit in the face with the door while trying to open it. I thought he was just careless but I saw a pair of feet on the other side of the door. My father got up to see who it was, he said No, no no no no, oh s***. GET OUT OF HERE!

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