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Hi, my name is Alexus, but you can just call me Alexus. I was born in Texas on August ninth of nineteen ninety-five. I am fourteen years old. I now live in Illinois with my grandmother. What you are about to read is my life story about the time I fell in love at a young age. The reason for this story is to prove that there are some young and very mature people out there that are capable of falling in love at a young age. Enjoy!
It was a very hot summer’s day in the big state of Texas and the little city of Carrollton, where I grew up as a little kid. I was walking in the hallway of Dewitt Perry middle school, on my way to my locker. When I finally got to my locker, I twisted the combination and opened it. I took my math book out. When I closed my locker I stopped for a minute to listen to these two girls talking about some guy named Raphael.
“He’s so cute!” one girl said.
“I know!” the other one said.
I thought for a minute. Trying to figure out whether I knew a guy named Raphael or not. No one came to my mind. I was in the seventh grade and I never really had a real boyfriend before so I didn’t really know much about guys. Even though I was boy crazy!
Though it seemed like no boy wanted to ever get near me. I didn’t blame them. I wasn’t what you would call “pretty”. In fact, I was short; with long brown hair always up in a bun, with dull grey eyes, and pimples taking over my entire face. I had no butt at all and definitely no boobs, the two most important things to a guy. I got picked on all the time, not only for being ugly, but also for my race. My school was dominated by nothing but Hispanics. There were very few white people and even less blacks.
I got to my math class and as soon as I walked in, my teacher handed me a test and told me to go to the CM room. The CM room was a special class some people went to when they needed extra help. When I got to the CM room I sat down and started working. All of a sudden I heard the door open and then close again. I didn’t look up right away because I figured it was just some weirdo.
As soon as I heard his voice, I looked up. When I saw him it was like a huge strong wind just hit my face. My heart raced. He was… well I don’t think there is any such word that could possibly describe him, but when I saw him, I felt like I had to have him. Like I would die if I didn’t have him. It was definitely something I had never felt before. It was like there was some kind of connection between us.
He was a bad boy. I could tell because he got in trouble as soon as he walked in the door. He was tall but not too tall, he had black hair and dark skin, but he wasn’t Mexican because he didn’t talk or act like it. He was very loud and free. He just started singing out of nowhere. He was definitely not shy at all. I liked that.
He dressed like a thug but yet a gentleman at the same time. He wore saggy pants with a light pink dress shirt. Chains hung low around his neck. His earrings shined like stars in the sky, and he had the most sparkling brown eyes I had ever seen in my entire life. He blew my breath away.
He finally talked to me when he caught me staring at him with wide eyes like I was looking at an angel or something.
“Hi there.” he said.
“Hi.” I said back.
When he stopped and looked away I decided I couldn’t let him stop talking to me so I told him my name.
“My name is Alexus” I said.
“I’m Raphael, nice to meet you.” He said back.
“Raphael! You’re the famous Raphael?” I said loudly.
“Yup, that’s me!” he said confidently.
“Wow, I’ve heard a lot of things about you.” I said.
“Yea, I get that a lot.” He said back.
The teacher finally told us to stop talking and do our work. I tried to, but I just couldn’t concentrate anymore knowing that there was this really cute guy that everyone wanted sitting right next to me. I looked over at him every minute, for just one quick second hoping he wouldn’t catch me doing it.
The bell rang. Raphael got up and yelled “bye” to the teacher and then to me. I just stared as he walked out the door.
“Alexus? Don’t you have to go?” the teacher asked me.
“Huh? Oh, yea.” I said as I shook out of my day dream, got up and ran to the door.
Throughout the rest of the day Raphael was all I could think about.
The next morning I couldn’t wait to get to school hoping that I would see Raphael again. I rushed to the CM room. I sat there, and waited. He never came. I was really disappointed. I felt like my life was over. I needed to see him. He was the only thing that got me through the day.
At the end of the day, I went to my locker and twisted the combination. When I finally got it open I threw my stuff in it and then closed it. I saw my friend getting ready to walk out the school doors so I ran to catch up to her. When I finally caught up to her, we were already out of the school.
I got to the spot where my aunt usually picked me up after school. I was just standing there waiting for my aunt to show up, when I saw him. He was standing by the stop sign. He looked like an angel.
“Thank you God! Thank you!” I said to myself.
I decided to go and say hi.
I walked up to him and we started talking.
“Hey, remember me?” I said hopeful.
“Oh yea, Alexus, right?” he asked.
“Yup, that’s me.” I said nervously.
Our whole conversation ended up with him giving me his phone number. I was so happy. Then my aunt showed up so I had to say bye. I walked up to the car and got in. As we were driving by I looked at him until I couldn’t see him anymore.
When I got to my house I decided I would call him. I was so nervous.
“What am I going to say?” I asked myself.
“What if he doesn’t answer” I started freaking out.
I finally just picked up my mothers cell phone and dialed the number, then I pressed TALK. It started ringing and I almost hung up, but he answered too quickly.
“Hello?” He said.
At first I wasn’t so sure it was him, the voice sounded so different.
“Is this Raphael?” I asked.
“Yes… who is this?” He said with a curious voice.
My stomach started twisting into knots; I was so sure he wasn’t going to remember me. Why would he? I’m no one special. It’s not like he thought I was cute or anything, I mean, look at me! I wanted to just hang up but I just couldn’t let this opportunity pass me. I was talking to the hottest and the most popular guy in school! I had to try and make this work!
“It’s Alexus…” I said slowly.
“You know… the girl you were talking to after schoo… “He broke me off.
“Oh yea!” He yelled. “What’s up?”
“Nothing much” I said.
We ended up talking all day until like, ten at night. I realized how different he was compared to what I thought he would be like. I guess that’s why they say “Never judge a book by its cover.” He wasn’t like most popular guys. He wasn’t all conceited and rude. He was like a real human being.
After we finally hung up I was already in love. I thought he was so perfect. He knew how to do everything! He knew how to skateboard, play guitar, graffiti, draw, etc. He even knew how to do different voices, like cartoon voices and stuff.
I stopped for a minute, and thought to myself.
“This is a joke.” “This has to be some kind of joke!” I thought.
“There is no way a guy as hot and as popular as him is going to even want to talk to a girl as ugly and unpopular as me!” “There’s no freaking way!” I yelled out loud.
That night I dreamed about him. It was the most amazing dream I had ever had in my entire life!
“Ok, bye!” See you tomorrow!” I said bye to Raphael and hung up the phone.
Ever since the day he gave me his phone number Raphael and I have been talking on the phone everyday now. I began to like him more and more. No. I began to fall in love with him.
After about a couple months I was already in love and addicted to Raphael Justiniani. He was all I thought about, all I dreamed about, all I cared about. He was all I wanted. I got to the point where I wanted him so much that I didn’t care what I had to do or who I had to hurt to get him. I was out of control. “Crazy in love.”
Our first time actually hanging out was when he took me to a skate park. I didn’t really skate or anything; I just sat and watched him and his friend skate. He was so amazing. Everything he did was so perfect. He never did anything wrong. Even when he fell off his skateboard a couple times, he still looked as beautiful as ever.
After that, I just started going to his house every day after school considering he lived right next to our school. We would hang out for a little bit and then I would walk home. It was a long ways home from his house, but it was so worth it.
After awhile I began to get obsessed, to the point where I wouldn’t leave him alone. He started getting suffocated by my obsession so he ignored me for a while. I got mad. I would ask him if he liked me and he would say yes. Then I would ask him if he wanted to be with me and he’d say no. I didn’t understand. I always thought that if you liked someone you would want to be with them if you had a chance.
This was my first time being in love, I mean, really being in love. I didn’t know how to control it, How to deal with it. He didn’t understand. He didn’t understand what I was going through, because, he didn’t feel the same way. Love really sucks!
We stopped talking for a very long time. I finally gave up on him and leaved him alone. We started talking again. I tried so hard not to get obsessed again. We ended up becoming the best of friends.
A year had passed already and by then my life had completely changed, for the worse. It changed so much that I was barely even able to speak to Raphael, besides considering the fact that he no longer went to my school. He was a year older than me so therefore, he had moved on to high school while I stayed behind in eighth grade.
My mom had gotten cancer, my sister had lost her kids, I had gotten in a lot of trouble, etc. So many things happened so quickly I wasn’t even able to say good-bye to him. My life was over. I didn’t want to live anymore. I felt like he was the only good thing left in my life and I couldn’t even have him so what was the point of living.
My mom had gone to Illinois with her mother, my grandmother so that she could get better treatment. I stayed in Texas by myself and went to school. I was all on my own so I decided that I would do something really stupid and against the law, and so I did and got in huge trouble for it. I got arrested, and put on probation for a year.
They transferred me to an alternative school for bad kids. I went there for about two days and then I had to go to Illinois as soon as possible to be with my mom who was then in a coma. They got my sister and I plane tickets right away.
I didn’t even know what was going to happen. I didn’t even know what to expect. They kept saying that they were so sure my mother wasn’t going to make it, but she did. My mother got out of a coma. It was a miracle.
After that I thought that when she got out of the hospital we would all go back home and everything would just go back to normal. I was wrong. Little did I know, my life was already over the second I got on that air plane with my sister to Illinois.
After about a couple weeks or so, my mother ended up passing away without warning. I had no idea what was going to happen with me. I didn’t really think about it at the time. I was so lost and confused. I didn’t have a father, and now I didn’t have a mother. So what happens now?
Without any warning whatsoever I ended up stuck living in Illinois with my grandmother. I was so depressed. I still wasn’t over Raphael. This wasn’t fair! I had lost everything! I was almost positive now that I would never see my love again. I didn’t know what to do. It was like Romeo and Juliet all over again!
After a couple months past of living in Illinois I finally got a hold of Raphael and told him everything that had happened. He was upset that I moved away from Texas because we will no longer be able to see each other. I was depressed for what seemed like forever. I felt like I would never get over him.
I knew I had to move on but I just couldn’t let him go. I just kept holding on to him, I just kept holding on to my past. At first Raphael acted like he loved me back, finally. I had gone to visit him for a little bit while in Texas for court. When I saw him he looked really different. He changed his style completely. He wasn’t that thug/ gentleman anymore. He was more like, Emo. He had long hair now with big holes in his ears. I looked at him for a long time and he didn’t really change to me, besides his look. He was the same guy I had fallen in love with.
He never stopped looking at me for one second. He gave me his old school ID so that I would have a picture of him. When it was time to go he didn’t want to let me go. That really confused me. Did he finally love me? Or is this just because he really missed me? I didn’t know what to think anymore.
After awhile of being in Texas we both finally realized that we were probably never going to see each other again until I was eighteen. It took me forever and ever and ever but I finally started to recover and move on. I still missed him and cried for him every now and again but I was really starting to heal. I went almost a whole month without talking to him.
One day I called him and his true colors finally showed. Turned out he did love me, but he didn’t anymore. He still missed me but he just didn’t see us being together. He said that because I always talked to him about us being together in the future, having kids, getting married and all that. He decided that he would probably already have all that by the time I turned eighteen anyway.
I think the only reason he told me that he didn’t see us being together is so that I could finally move on and let him go. I really do think he loved me and still does at that. I guess ill never know the truth about our love and only God knows if we’ll end up being together in the future. One thing is certain though, I will never forget about my first true love.
? The End! <3