The Desperate Night

May 7, 2010
The wind mumbled with an icy edge across the the forests and plains of the beautiful land. The trees, frosted with freezing ice, stood in place as the snow drizzled down from the sky. The clouds overhead, cried in sorrow as if they heard what had happen to the land. It sadden every tree, every plant, to every leaf. The land from then looked grayer then the moon on a dark night. Sadder then a widow mother had lost her son. Death rose from the solid, hard ground. It was like a white, misty fog. Twenty three people laid on the ground with no more air to breath or take in.

While loved ones mourned with desperate cries, especially in these desperate times, was a murderer on the streets, waiting for a challenge. He seemed to mock the dead with his twisted smiles and laughs as he stared from afar to the men and woman, children and elderly, begging for their love ones return. He watched them hit the ground, cry in shame, cuss all around, but he felt no sorrow, no regret, just satisfaction. He gave a nod of his contempt and he vanished into the mist.

On the ground mourning for a close friend, Marie Konnor saw a dim figure disappeared into the fog. Her eyes already red with despair, grew cold when she spotted it. Her best friend, Annie, was stiff and bloody, and her eyes showed an uncontrollable fear. It was uncomfortable to see, but she could not bare to look away.

Annie was on a trail walk with her 4-H group and Marie trailed off with a few other friends to the creek to look for some of the rare rocks. As usual, Annie would rather keep up and stay out of trouble or chance to get caught. Marie did not bother to pursue her and left without a second thought. Now she regretted everything. Her and her two other friends heard screaming and three gunshots. When they made it back almost everyone was dead except for two people. John Chambers and Alice Hover were left there on the ground. Alice barely breathing and John stabbed in the side, yelled at once when the three came into view. They ran to guide them and Kasey grabbed out her cell. Unable to reach signal, she ran back to the Trail Guide Station which was about a mile and a half away and they all knew Kasey was the fastest one of them all to go. 58 minutes later, help came.

As Marie saw Annie rapped into a body bag, more tears started to flow down her bright red cheeks. She was only 14 years old, same age as Marie, and was now dead. Annie, only hours before, told Marie who her first real crush was and she was so happy. So young, so sad, and why was the only question she had. Why did she die? Why wasn’t it Marie? She would not be able to bare the look on Annie’s parents when she would see them. Nor the look of her own probably.

She walked into the nearest police car, and slid in. Shaking crazily and scared to death, she stared out the window and couldn’t wait to be home.

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This article has 6 comments. Post your own now!

Caitlyn_ilovesoftball said...
Jun. 21, 2010 at 9:24 pm
Heyya, I'd like as many ppl that is possible to look and comment at this piece, one of my fave!! please tell me what u think!
A_lAzY_lIlLy said...
Jun. 20, 2010 at 5:51 pm
Good Job.  I love the suspensefulness in this one.  Amazing, two thumbs up!
Matt-JT said...
Jun. 13, 2010 at 8:51 pm
Hey, this is very unique. I love the natural descriptions, and the feeling of death. The stench rose through my computer screen and choked me. I'd say expand on it
Caitlyn_ilovesoftball replied...
Jun. 14, 2010 at 10:52 am
Thanks! and I'm working on it.
katie-cat said...
Jun. 10, 2010 at 11:53 am
I liked it.  It was deep and descroptive.  I found some grammatical and tense errors, but they're easily fixed.  Is this a short story or do you plan to write more?  I lie how you did this.  It could just be a little short story or a full novel.  Well done :) 
SUPERMANDwightHoward replied...
Jun. 10, 2010 at 9:19 pm
A little mysterious, and exciting, it leaves a cliff hanger at the end Ilki it is there more.
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