Juarez at War | Teen Ink

Juarez at War

April 2, 2010
By aladjuarez BRONZE, Mission, Kansas
aladjuarez BRONZE, Mission, Kansas
1 article 0 photos 187 comments

Cars slowly driving on the streets, strays foraging in alleys, and crickets chirping in the night are the only faint noises I hear, but suddenly that calm, still, but normal quietness is interrupted by the sound of gunfire. Oh how I dread that noise, every time I hear it I know that yet another innocent life has been taken. Of course by now that noise and action is quite routine and common around here ever since the drug cartel war began here in Juarez. Many of the members of the drug gangs have been accused and captured but the prime leader known as “J.J.J.” is still nowhere to be found. That is where I step in, my name is Detective Rafael Alvarez I am 26 years old and of Mexican blood. I am in search of “J.J.J.” leader of the main drug cartel here in my hometown Cd. Juarez. So far I have only been able to investigate the murders and the clues left by the drug gang. The gang’s name is “Los Hijos del Rosario” or “The Son’s of the Rosary.” The clue to all the murders is that the killers leave rosaries around their victims’ necks. That might be a vital clue in my quest for the longed leader of the Juarez killers. The reason for the murders is to me the most awful thing about this case. The only reason they kill people is as a warning so the government will not bother them or mess with them in their life career, drug trafficking. The reason I am so involved in this case is because I like so many others have experienced the trauma of the loss and disappearance of a loved one to the drug cartel. That loved one was my brother.

Here I am looking into the eyes of yet another innocent victim of the drug cartel. Every time I see into a pair of dead eyes I know exactly how the family will react because I was in those shoes. I examine the clues, but it is the same as always, a rosary and a body. I always think to myself, will this ever end? Reasons don’t matter they just go around when ever and kill. Numbers don’t matter either, they just kill as much as they feel and don’t care about what will happen. Averages say about 5 a day are taken by the drug cartel. I just want this all to stop and capture every single one of those criminals and the leader. I need to know more to do all of this and only someone who has been there and done that can give that information. Reluctantly, today, I am going to interrogate a suspect that was caught earlier this week. I beg for the sake and salvation of my city, that this suspect can give me the knowledge I need.
Guadalupe Rivera was her name. I can still remember her eyes, big, brown, shiny, and full of fear and sorrow. She said she was one of many women abducted into the gangs. She admitted that she had committed the murders she was accused of, but she also said those murders weren’t on her account she said she was forced to. She said it was their life or hers. Forced, that was what intrigued me so I asked her to explain this, she said that they would take her and make her kill with them, that they would put guns to her head if she even resisted a little. She said that she couldn’t take it any longer so she ran away and was so close to dying it was a miracle she got away. She was on another forced murder attempt but this time she said was different she said she had acted as if she was determined to kill voluntarily. So when she was about to she ran away and dodged the shots of her fellow gang members. She said she could take me to where they hid. She also said she would do anything to help capture “J.J.J.” and stop the outrageous crime of the drug cartel.

Here I am on the path that could lead me to the climax of the case of my life. The only assurance I have of this case is the word of Guadalupe Rivera. Shortly after the interrogation I decided to give her a chance and accompany me and lead me to where J.J.J. and his gang were. Now here we are traveling in the way of justice or doom.
We finally arrived to this one shabby, old warehouse with broken windows, leaky sidewalls, faintly spray-painted walls, and faint light on the inside. The area around was quite remote with no apparent inhabitants within miles. We decided to park a few meters from the warehouse to dissimulate. As we were getting out I heard the loud sound of a gun being fired several times. Guadalupe winced and said that those fires were probably caused because of her. We got out and started approaching the warehouse and examining to see if the coast was clear. At that point I thought to myself that this could be my end or my long awaited triumph. I decided that Guadalupe was probably a trustable person and took the chance of believing in her word. I waited for her to lead us into a safe entry place. We found a small hole in of the back walls. I know that by going into this warehouse I am going into the jaws of the lion.
We got in and hid behind some big piles of something wrapped in plastic. I wasn’t sure what it was, and then I realized it was big quantities of illegal drugs. I looked around the warehouse from where I was hiding and saw that the place was full of drugs everywhere. I also saw men putting them in trucks and other automobiles. Just then I saw many of men were carrying handguns and I fretted about that, then I placed my hand on my gun just to be on the safe side. Suddenly Guadalupe signaled for us to go hide behind another pile of drugs close by. She led and I followed just when we got there a man stood right in front of the drugs signaling the others to come help get these into the trucks, that was when I knew I had to do something or else this whole plan would be completely lost and so would our lives. Then Guadalupe abruptly rose from her hiding place and greeted the men, and they reacted by pointing the guns in her direction. She started telling them to calm down that she was back to reposition herself in her spot as a gang member. Suddenly I knew I was wrong to trust her. She directed the men to where I was hiding and told them that I was a police officer and was about to bust them. I was so surprised she had made it sound as if she was extremely serious about the whole busting plan. One of the men led me across the warehouse with a gun to my head. I knew it was over.
Just then a man irrupted from an office and came out with a mask on. He was a tall man with a well-proportioned body. He looked at Guadalupe in surprised sort of way and she explained the whole thing to him and he gave her a sort of awkward approving nod. Masks covered the faces of the men around the big man. Something about the man made me shiver inside and feel a sudden anger. I could still feel the cold metal of the gun that was up to my head. I knew that if I made one false move I would be among the many victims of this gang. Suddenly after Guadalupe told the man about me he started erupting in laughter. He looked directly at me and asked if I knew who he was. I looked at him dumb stricken and said no. Then he took off his mask and said I, am Juan Jose Jimenez. I could not believe this I was looking at the man who had started the serial killings in my beloved town. I felt outraged and felt like rampaging at him, but I held myself back. He kept laughing and said how stupid I was in thinking that one of his own people could turn against him. Several of his men started laughing including Guadalupe. He also explained how no one would give up the chance of becoming rich because today was the day that all those drugs would be trafficked and they all would be paid millions for them. He said I was so foolish in thinking I could capture him. I felt doomed and stupid. I knew that all hope was lost in this case and I would only sum up to the people killed in Cd. Juarez.
All of a sudden Guadalupe and the majority of the masked men pulled out guns and pointed them to their fellow gang members and to J.J.J. I was surprised and awed suddenly. Apparently the man behind me also pointed to the other members. The men in masks suddenly took them off and I recognized one of them. I couldn’t believe it but one of the men was my brother. I thought he was dead because of precisely these people. All of a sudden Guadalupe went up to J.J.J. and lowered him to the ground with the gun pointed to his head. I could see a raging determination in her eyes to pull the trigger to that gun and end with the life of the person who had caused death of many innocent people. I could also see the hesitation on her face, both she and I knew that she couldn’t do this not after she herself had dread the killing of people. I came up to her and put my hand to take the gun and she gave it up without hesitation. Right then I could see the tears swelling up in her eyes and she dropped to the ground. I had the gun in my hand and the criminal at my feet. What was left to do was up to my heart, soul, and conscience. I turned and looked the beast in the eye and he said to me that he didn’t want anything more than dying right at that second. He told me to hand him the gun so he could do the honors, but I refused and I said your not going to get away so easy and not pay for what you and all your minions caused. As I was telling him this he took a gun from his pocket and pointed it to his head and said that by doing this he would be ending the killings and saving his skin from the charges and years in prison that would come if he remained alive. The gun fired and he fell to the ground. The world had just then been rid of a beast that caused much grief to such an innocent town. We all knew that it was all over and the killings and drug trafficking would be no more. Guadalupe, my brother, and me came up to stand staring at the body of a soulless monster that provoked a whole city to go into agony and fear. The only thing we all regretted was that he couldn’t face the charges and be properly treated for his crime, but still it was now over and people in Juarez could go out without fear of being another victim.
I turned and asked both my brother and Guadalupe what had occurred during the time at the warehouse they both explained that they had joined the gang as undercover agents to foil the crime of J.J.J., my brother had had to fake his death to be able to go under the radar and not arouse suspicions. Guadalupe had met him and planned to help after she had a loved one taken. Both of them planned for months this plan and waited to meet me and bring me to be the last missing link to the chain that would tie up J.J.J. forever. Still we thought it would end differently and J.J.J. would not have died. After the explanation I told my brother that I pardoned him for the grief that he had brought upon me for faking his death, but also thanked him for helping try to end the war. Guadalupe and I looked at each other as if we knew we had done the right thing and ended at last what we always wanted ended. She came at me and hugged me very tightly and I too hugged her back and we looked at each other in the eyes and she kissed me and I kissed her, and we knew that we both needed each other and would be happy for a long time together. Knowing we would live in a world free from the evilness J.J.J.
After the rest of the gang members were properly charged and put into custody all of us decided to settle down and live a normal life that would be free of violence and fear. Guadalupe and I decided to get married and have a family in the new violence free Juarez. My brother decided to regain his spot as police officer in the local police department and he too got married with a woman he had met shortly after the whole warehouse incident. We still don’t know what will come in the future or if any other maniac will come and terrorize our city but until then we will live calmly and happily knowing we did something good and freed Juarez from the clutches of a murderous monster that sought only grief and money.


The author's comments:
My family is from Mexico and I have been watching the news and worrying about all of it. This is what inpired me to write this story.

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This article has 389 comments.


on Nov. 13 2011 at 10:00 am
aladjuarez BRONZE, Mission, Kansas
1 article 0 photos 187 comments
Hey thanks a lot for the constructive criticism i always appreciate that...i have tried to better my sentences and now am quite good...

on Nov. 13 2011 at 9:57 am
aladjuarez BRONZE, Mission, Kansas
1 article 0 photos 187 comments
yeah thanks man it was worth writing

on Nov. 13 2011 at 9:56 am
aladjuarez BRONZE, Mission, Kansas
1 article 0 photos 187 comments
Thanks im glad you thought that

on Nov. 9 2011 at 7:23 pm
garthgirl8888 BRONZE, Long Beach, California
2 articles 0 photos 20 comments
I thought this was not that great, to be honest. Your story was a bit implausible- I don't think it likely that a detective would go to the house of the drug lord of Juarez without backup. If that were to actually happen, there would be many, many policemen called to the scene, not just one lone etective with a gun. However, I like that you made it personal.

on Oct. 18 2011 at 9:31 pm
Miki-chan BRONZE, Waynesboro, Mississippi
3 articles 0 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't screw with Crazy.

I thought this story was very compelling. Things like that happen in my town, in small quantities.

on Oct. 18 2011 at 2:37 pm
Eshshah PLATINUM, Galloway, New Jersey
32 articles 31 photos 239 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep." -Robert Frost

good idea, amazing plot! but you should add some dialogue to make it more interesting.

heyy said...
on Sep. 26 2011 at 6:40 pm

i like the book becuse cover black and white and when he said that all the he heres he think of death

 


lamelola GOLD said...
on Jun. 30 2011 at 1:27 am
lamelola GOLD, Wichita, Kansas
14 articles 19 photos 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
The problem is, you think you have time.

so honored to have a fellow kansan write such a brilliant piece :)

AmySeldom said...
on Jun. 9 2011 at 1:30 am
AmySeldom, Bonogin, Other
0 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Security is mostly superstition. It does not exist in nature nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Life is either a daring adventure or it is nothing."
-Helen Keller

Very good!!! Really enjoyed it!! :)

on Jun. 8 2011 at 8:13 pm
rubyrainstorm SILVER, Closter, New Jersey
7 articles 0 photos 275 comments

Favorite Quote:
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.
-Buddha.

I really loved the plot...but now I have to go all crabby old teacher on you. Instead of tell, use show. You could have used better descriptions of Juarez, like "the stench of blood and fear hung in the air, enveloping all who dared to enter Juarez." Or something like that. :) Also, if anyone has time, please check out and comment on my poem, The Girl Inside. Thanks!

 


on May. 19 2011 at 7:11 am
A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!....theres nothing more to say...:D

on May. 19 2011 at 5:58 am
alwer299 BRONZE, Florence, Massachusetts
1 article 1 photo 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
when in doubt, eat chocolate.-me
fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant, filled with odd waiters, who bring you things you never asked for, and don't always like.










- Lemony Snicket

I love the idea of the story. The plots great. How you actually wrote it and your writing skills...Not so great. I think if you sharpened up your writing skills it would be amazing but right now it only at the pretty darn good stage.

on May. 13 2011 at 5:53 pm
tikapeek97 BRONZE, Waterboro, Maine
2 articles 1 photo 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
"good things come in small packages" =)

It was really good. I liked the style of writing but it was hard to under stand. I loved the detail of the people. One of the only things I have to say is the sentences don't really flow well with each other, but other than that it is a really good story. Can you check out mine Guilty at heart.

Thanks!! :)


crlygrl13579 said...
on Apr. 3 2011 at 10:46 am
crlygrl13579, Savage, Minnesota
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments
I can tell that you've revised this piece many times over because it is particularly well-written! Way to shift the mood and provide relative description for the reader. you could totally use this for an extemp reading category for speech

C.M.L. BRONZE said...
on Apr. 3 2011 at 1:13 am
C.M.L. BRONZE, San Jose, California
3 articles 4 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
wobbledy wobbledy wa wobble wobble

I think the plot was pretty good (you've got great ideas!), but the writing style needs improvement. It's rather chunky and doesn't flow well; try working on differing your sentence structure. Instead of always starting with the subject, include some transitions. Personification, onomatopoeia, etc are annoying terms we've all learned in English but heck they're useful. Great job.

el chuy said...
on Apr. 1 2011 at 10:35 am
a man great story i bin wating for the long ist time to here a bout our beloved JUAREZ good story

your sister said...
on Mar. 21 2011 at 3:06 pm

AWESOME STORY

I LOVED IT:)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)


on Mar. 12 2011 at 7:10 pm
Braves1011 BRONZE, Newton, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 14 comments
Awesome story. It had great suspense.

adan-flores said...
on Mar. 7 2011 at 3:51 pm
wakkest story i have ever read

on Feb. 19 2011 at 9:01 am
aladjuarez BRONZE, Mission, Kansas
1 article 0 photos 187 comments
thank you i hav already written something and its posting is pending