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I shook my head and cocked it to the side. I groaned and pulled the covers over my head, only to make me feel trapped and sweaty. It was too quiet...

I lifted up my head from over the covers, and I sighed when I stared across my empty bedroom. The walls seemed to be an eerie blue, and my gasps came out in a hushed echo. It was only 9:00 pm. My parents were usually awake watching T.V or just listening to the radio, but this night was different. I could not hear ANYTHING.

Suddenly, I heard a voice that I did not recognize. The door was an inch open, but it was suddenly pushed full open, revealing a long silhouette that creeped on the bedroom door. I gasped and slowly slipped under the covers, trying to be unnoticable. Then, the blurry image seemed to crawl toward me, and I could finally see who this person was.

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PrincessPineapple said...
Apr. 27, 2010 at 6:29 am:
Woah. this totally grabbed my attention for the very beginning! keep it up.
_Zavery_This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 15, 2011 at 1:44 pm :
Thank you. =)
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ellyn-bo-bellyn_2014 said...
Apr. 20, 2010 at 4:25 pm:

You're making me ANGRY!!!! jk

I HAVE TO FINISH YOUR STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was really good and snatched up my attention right away! Who was it at your door???????????

Maybe could ya check out some of my work?

ZAVERY replied...
Apr. 20, 2010 at 4:31 pm :
Thanks for the comment! Actually, I'm not quite sure of who was at the door. I was just making it random. Lol! And I will check your work, definetly! :)
ellyn-bo-bellyn_2014 replied...
Apr. 22, 2010 at 5:15 pm :

well I hope you've figured it out by now! haha


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--LoveHappens-- said...
Apr. 17, 2010 at 1:45 pm:

Wow that is so exciting I would love it if you continued the story and wrote more I am dying to know what happens. Please I would love it if you took a look at my work too thanks so much


ZAVERY replied...
Apr. 17, 2010 at 1:59 pm :
Thanks for the comment! Of course I'll look at your work! It's been a long time since anyone asked me.
--LoveHappens-- replied...
Apr. 17, 2010 at 2:40 pm :
thanks especially read The Pretty One thanks so much and i really enjoyed your piece you should defiantly submit more work
ZAVERY replied...
Apr. 17, 2010 at 7:06 pm :
I will. Thanks so much for the comment!
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Rebelde189 said...
Apr. 16, 2010 at 1:47 pm:
It sounds so good... I really wanna read the rest of it...
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RayRay23 said...
Apr. 15, 2010 at 1:48 pm:
i am DYING to read MORE!!!!! ITS A THRILLER:)
ZAVERY replied...
Apr. 15, 2010 at 3:30 pm :

Thanks! I might be writing the whole story of this, but not sure of an idea yet.


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julian This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 11, 2010 at 2:29 pm:
Wow, i want to read the rest of the story now! You should make it into a book or something!
ZAVERY replied...
Apr. 11, 2010 at 2:30 pm :

Well, I am having trouble thinking about what exactly will happen in this story...


Anyways, thanks for commenting!

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5star_writter_mone said...
Apr. 9, 2010 at 1:41 pm:
it was short yet attention grabbing keep up the good work
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BobbysGirl said...
Apr. 8, 2010 at 4:28 pm:
i sure would love to read the next part....your stuff is so good that it doesnt take me that long to read cuz i cant take my eyes off it :} keep up the good job!!! :}
ZAVERY replied...
Apr. 8, 2010 at 4:56 pm :
That's so kind of you! Thanks!
BobbysGirl replied...
Apr. 10, 2010 at 9:43 pm :
your welcome!
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JeanGrey said...
Apr. 8, 2010 at 3:12 pm:

*looks wide eyed in anticipation for the next part of the story*


*claps* I want to read the rest! You already have me hooked :)

Now, perhaps comment on my Prologue to a story i am writing ;) critique would be nice :)

ZAVERY replied...
Apr. 8, 2010 at 3:44 pm :
Thanks! Wow... u like to comment on my work and ask for critisism! Post more of ur work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RainbowSpike replied...
Apr. 13, 2010 at 6:28 pm :
Wow, it's short yet engaging! I love it! It's awesome, great job:)
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