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I shook my head and cocked it to the side. I groaned and pulled the covers over my head, only to make me feel trapped and sweaty. It was too quiet...

I lifted up my head from over the covers, and I sighed when I stared across my empty bedroom. The walls seemed to be an eerie blue, and my gasps came out in a hushed echo. It was only 9:00 pm. My parents were usually awake watching T.V or just listening to the radio, but this night was different. I could not hear ANYTHING.

Suddenly, I heard a voice that I did not recognize. The door was an inch open, but it was suddenly pushed full open, revealing a long silhouette that creeped on the bedroom door. I gasped and slowly slipped under the covers, trying to be unnoticable. Then, the blurry image seemed to crawl toward me, and I could finally see who this person was.




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Diana101 said...
Jul. 12, 2010 at 12:49 pm:

Amazing intro! Can't wait for the story! :)

Check out my story, it's called Murder of Guilt. :)

 
B.R.Nack replied...
Jul. 12, 2010 at 9:13 pm :
I tried to look at yours but when I did a search nothing came up :(
 
Zavery_ replied...
Aug. 25, 2010 at 12:24 pm :
Thanks for the try. Whenever I search for an article, I never find it, just unrelated articles. I don't know why.
 
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IamtheStargirl said...
Jun. 17, 2010 at 7:49 pm:
Not the best, but an intersting idea. It definately has promise.
 
Zavery_ replied...
Aug. 25, 2010 at 12:23 pm :
Thank you. I don't like this piece anymore, I see so much I could improve on. Thanks for an honest judgement.   ;)
 
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MusicIsLife013 said...
Jun. 11, 2010 at 4:00 pm:
holey c*** who is it?? haha. This is a very good intro. If there was more, I'd read it :)
 
Zavery_ replied...
Aug. 25, 2010 at 12:22 pm :
Thank you! I don't know. Perhaps the boogie man!   ;)
 
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EllieK. said...
Jun. 6, 2010 at 3:18 pm:

It definitely grabs you in from the beggining. Job well done, I liked it.

Could you check any of my stuff out, Thanks Elliek

 
Zavery_ replied...
Aug. 25, 2010 at 12:20 pm :
Thanks Ellie! I'll try my best!   =)
 
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jonas_chick899 said...
May 17, 2010 at 4:43 pm:
OMG! WHO IS IT???? this is an awesome story!! it pulls u in
 
Zavery_ replied...
Aug. 25, 2010 at 12:20 pm :
Thanks! I actually have no idea. Gosh...now that I'm reading it over, I see so much that I can improve on.
 
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^unshed.tears said...
May 11, 2010 at 11:55 am:
this is really good!!! you gotta continue it!! can you check out some of my stuff?? :)
 
_Zavery replied...
May 11, 2010 at 3:27 pm :
I'll try to get some time for your work. Thnx for the comment!   =)
 
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sunnyhunny This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 5, 2010 at 2:33 pm:
Let me know when you publish this story!  It sounds really good.
 
ZAVERY replied...
May 5, 2010 at 3:09 pm :
Thanks! Um, I might not be publishing it. Sorry, but thanks for the comment!
 
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Sumana2 said...
Apr. 30, 2010 at 6:56 am:
I WANNA READ WHAT'S NEXT!!!!!! I LOOVEEE THIS!!! GREAT JOB!
 
ZAVERY replied...
Apr. 30, 2010 at 3:55 pm :

Thanks so much! Kind of you to say.  :)

You know, I'm stumped on what to write in my whole story, but I'm still thinking...

 
Sumana2 replied...
May 1, 2010 at 11:26 am :
It happens, but i'm sure it'll come to you. you did a really great job on this one, and u did all by urself, so yeah the next will come 2 u.
 
ZAVERY replied...
May 1, 2010 at 1:03 pm :
Thanks, that's really kind of you! I do hope that I get an idea, and I'm sure I will. You've encouraged me alot. Thx!
 
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PrincessPineapple said...
Apr. 27, 2010 at 6:29 am:
Woah. this totally grabbed my attention for the very beginning! keep it up.
 
_Zavery_This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 14, 2011 at 4:14 pm :
Thanks, I really appreciate it.   ;)
 
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