Who is that...

April 3, 2010
By _NoAir_ BRONZE, Toronto, Other
_NoAir_ BRONZE, Toronto, Other
4 articles 1 photo 463 comments

Favorite Quote:
There are as many ways to live as there are people in this world. Each one deserves a closer look.


–Golly (Harriet The Spy)


I shook my head and cocked it to the side. I groaned and pulled the covers over my head, only to make me feel trapped and sweaty. It was too quiet...

I lifted up my head from over the covers, and I sighed when I stared across my empty bedroom. The walls seemed to be an eerie blue, and my gasps came out in a hushed echo. It was only 9:00 pm. My parents were usually awake watching T.V or just listening to the radio, but this night was different. I could not hear ANYTHING.

Suddenly, I heard a voice that I did not recognize. The door was an inch open, but it was suddenly pushed full open, revealing a long silhouette that creeped on the bedroom door. I gasped and slowly slipped under the covers, trying to be unnoticable. Then, the blurry image seemed to crawl toward me, and I could finally see who this person was.


The author's comments:
This is the intro to a story I am going to write. I just hope you guys like it! I need some comments and ratings please!

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This article has 80 comments.


HudaZav SILVER said...
on Aug. 14 2011 at 4:07 pm
HudaZav SILVER, Toronto, Other
8 articles 6 photos 392 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nothing is impossible; the word itself says 'I'm possible'!" -Audrey Hepburn

Thanks!   And I just commented on your piece, I honestly love it!   X)

HudaZav SILVER said...
on Aug. 14 2011 at 4:03 pm
HudaZav SILVER, Toronto, Other
8 articles 6 photos 392 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nothing is impossible; the word itself says 'I'm possible'!" -Audrey Hepburn

Thanks, you Teeninkers are awesome. I probably won't be posting this story, but this is my new profile, and I will be posting a novella soon. Check it out!   =)

HudaZav SILVER said...
on Aug. 14 2011 at 4:01 pm
HudaZav SILVER, Toronto, Other
8 articles 6 photos 392 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nothing is impossible; the word itself says 'I'm possible'!" -Audrey Hepburn

Thanks for commenting! By the way, this is just my new account, and in a few months, I will be posting a novella. If you want you can check it out.   =)

on Aug. 12 2011 at 9:24 pm
emilybwrites SILVER, Villa Hills, Kentucky
5 articles 0 photos 112 comments

Favorite Quote:
last night i lay in bed, looking up at the stars and i thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

haters are going to hate but that was uncalled for! this was fantastic and had me on the edge of my chair. in the future, if you are going to write comments like that, please do us all a favor and don't.

on Aug. 12 2011 at 9:22 pm
emilybwrites SILVER, Villa Hills, Kentucky
5 articles 0 photos 112 comments

Favorite Quote:
last night i lay in bed, looking up at the stars and i thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

what a cliffhanger! please promise me you will write more on this subject because i want to know who it is!! please check out my peom "Forgotten Domain" and some of my other work and comment it would mean a lot!!!

on Jul. 21 2011 at 11:04 am
4everyoung15 BRONZE, Moreno Valley, California
3 articles 2 photos 76 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When life knocks you down on your knees, just remember you are in the perfect position for praying"- Unknown

I like the way you create suspense, and I think what would help is if you would add a bit more or make a sequal and explain things like why the gohst is there or why it came to the main character. I personally would make the "figure" a demon coming to posses a soul. >XD ..... but that's just me

 


on Jun. 29 2011 at 1:46 pm
Kafyra PLATINUM, San Ramon, California
32 articles 0 photos 12 comments
I understand that you dislike the grammar, but maybe it would be more helpful do describe which particular sentences weren't correct and how to fix them. That way, the writer could actually improve thanks to your comment. Also, just because you dislike a certain person's writing does not mean that you should call the writer stupid. This writing is a good deal better than most of mine.

Vanda GOLD said...
on Mar. 30 2011 at 7:03 pm
Vanda GOLD, Hemt, California
11 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
Well when saying good-bye its usaully, "See you in the after life," but my favorite quote is, "Bazinga!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Loved it you had me hooked from the first three words. You really need to keep going. Oh and I read some of the comments, looks like your having trouble with who the ghost is. (Hey maybe I can help when I get some ideas). Oh and do you think you could read some of my articles? It's called My Horriod Past.

on Mar. 15 2011 at 9:29 am
Soccerball123, Englewood, Colorado
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
I love cats!

This story is amazing ccan wait to read more.

 


PJD17 SILVER said...
on Mar. 11 2011 at 5:54 pm
PJD17 SILVER, Belleville, Illinois
8 articles 0 photos 624 comments

Favorite Quote:
I do the best imatation of myself- Ben Folds

The story was interesting.  i would like to read the rest of it when it is done.  Id appreciate it if you could read my artical  its called Claire Waits

on Feb. 17 2011 at 4:20 pm
StayClassy1 SILVER, Stockton, California
5 articles 1 photo 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Buy me food so i know it's real"

wow! Really good, keep writing!!!

on Jan. 26 2011 at 5:56 pm
singinginthegardn GOLD, Cowell, Massachusetts
16 articles 2 photos 158 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say." ~Anaïs Nin

GRR!! Write some more, honey!? I will be waiting..<3 way to goooooo! Check out my stories maybe?? GRACIAS! :)

_NoAir_ BRONZE said...
on Dec. 14 2010 at 6:31 pm
_NoAir_ BRONZE, Toronto, Other
4 articles 1 photo 463 comments

Favorite Quote:
There are as many ways to live as there are people in this world. Each one deserves a closer look.


–Golly (Harriet The Spy)

Well, I'm not stuck. I have just been busy lately. I guess I should leave it a cliffhanger. I just don't have time to push beside with all my homework.   =(   Ah well, I'm glad eveyone wants to read the whole story. =)

on Dec. 13 2010 at 7:41 pm
whateverjuliet BRONZE, Miami, Florida
3 articles 3 photos 89 comments

Favorite Quote:
true love never dies,it only gets stronger with time.

very nice, u kept me hanging, ill definetly follow your story!

on Nov. 21 2010 at 7:58 pm
Jakethesnake SILVER, Hernando, Mississippi
6 articles 0 photos 96 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Read, Read... Read everything, then write."-William Faulkner

You still stuck?

_NoAir_ BRONZE said...
on Oct. 30 2010 at 10:27 pm
_NoAir_ BRONZE, Toronto, Other
4 articles 1 photo 463 comments

Favorite Quote:
There are as many ways to live as there are people in this world. Each one deserves a closer look.


–Golly (Harriet The Spy)

I'm not sure. I'm stuck. Thanks for the comment!   X)

on Oct. 26 2010 at 10:33 am
vampiresrock GOLD, Cornish, New Hampshire
12 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you oranges, make grape juice and sit back and let the world wounder how the hell you just did that.

WRITE MORE NOW!!!!!!!!!! i can't wait for more!

_NoAir_ BRONZE said...
on Oct. 8 2010 at 3:19 pm
_NoAir_ BRONZE, Toronto, Other
4 articles 1 photo 463 comments

Favorite Quote:
There are as many ways to live as there are people in this world. Each one deserves a closer look.


–Golly (Harriet The Spy)

I'm glad you're enthusiastic. Thanks for the comment.   =)

AlyceR said...
on Sep. 16 2010 at 5:55 pm
AlyceR, Robins, Iowa
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Im not a slave to a God that doesnt exsist, Im not a slave to a world that doesnt give a shit."

I really want to read this whole thing now!!! I absoultly have to!

_NoAir_ BRONZE said...
on Aug. 25 2010 at 12:26 pm
_NoAir_ BRONZE, Toronto, Other
4 articles 1 photo 463 comments

Favorite Quote:
There are as many ways to live as there are people in this world. Each one deserves a closer look.


–Golly (Harriet The Spy)

Thanks! I'm not sure if I really have a whole idea, or if I'll even continue it. I'll read your article. Thanks for commenting on mine!   ;)




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