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Young and Alone
As my nervous glance seem to lead me farther and farther from anywhere I wanted to be I remained composed, though nowhere near unafraid. When I turned the corner the sun hit me from all angles and I was immediately covered in warmth. The reflecting lights were from all the cars, I was in a parking lot. I had nothing with me and I was wearing shorts and a soft white sweater. The breeze flipped my hair in front of my face. The parking lot though almost empty, felt like a start. On my far left in the distance I could see a building with a large garage opening, I heard a couple voices. They sounded familiar, amiable I hoped. I walked hurriedly across the parking lot attracting what few eyes were there to look. I ignored them and walked briskly as if I had some place to be. Once I was away from their steady gaze I entered the mechanic shop, as I’d identified it, with much more hesitation than before. There were two guys a little older than me, hunched over an old car. Seniors. I immediately went rigid and froze, but it was too late.
“Hey,” One looked up and turned while drawling out a long calm greeting. He was holding something long and metal which he proceeded to rest swiftly on the hood of his car subtly freeing both of his hands. I recognized only one of them. The guy beside the one who had spoken, who was now almost glaring at me with indifference, I knew him. He seemed to be willing me to leave, or run. His strong towering football build, his thick bear-like arms and of course his face was unmistakable, it was Sam Barnett. For a split second I dared to be hopeful. Up until now I had imagined him as a safe guy. Well not ever knowing him, but seeing him in school a lot, in my study. His younger brother was in my grade too. I smirked at the memory of that summer I’d thought I liked him, that was short lived.
I always thought Sam appeared shy, but now looking at me more confidently than I would’ve liked I held back. He wasn’t the same as I’d pictured.
When I wasn’t paying attention, the other guy was already approaching me. His eyes were lit with interest, and something else. As I looked back and forth between the two guys something caught my eye near one of the front tires of the car; A couple of empty beer bottles. Fantastic, it’s the middle of the day and they’d been drinking. Sam hung back looking detached but worried in a sort of livid way. My eyes flickered to his, not yet stricken with horror, but getting there. As this guy walked very carefully towards me I still for some reason could not tear my gaze from Sam’s. He looked down and shook his head as if remembering something of little importance. Then he lifted his head and looked glumly at the guy so close to me now staring with ravenous eyes, “I guess you’ve found a friend, Pete.”
My fist clenched, Pete. I suppose I knew both of them then. I felt sick as I watched his paralyzing gaze drown me. He was close enough to touch me now and he knew this. The smell of cheap alcohol mixed with spearmint was heavy in his breath and made my stomach churn. I’d seen him in school too, though a lot less than Sam, I knew he didn’t know who I was. At that moment Sam turned away attempting to ignore whatever was about to happen, whatever his friend was intending to do. Pete was barely a foot from me now, he had blue green eyes that sparkled, and he was tall and had more of a surfer build than football. Nevertheless, his arms were still thick as they reached for me. He was grinning now, hungrily. I felt stupid but I could feel myself trembling. This was ridiculous; I had to get out of here… running would be a start!
Finally I found the nerve to shrug off the sweater I had wrapped around me so his grasp was rendered useless. That’s when I bolted.
I didn’t look back, I didn’t dare let myself think for one minute how beautiful they both were, I just ran. But that wasn’t enough. Pete was quickly catching up and was just a small reach from me he was just inches from me when I swerved and cut across the hood of the car in front of me. The next time he caught up to me though, there was nothing in front of me, there was nothing, everywhere. Except for Sam we were now alone, playing cat and mouse in a dank abandoned parking lot. His arms caught my waist like an iron bar and his fists clenched around my wrists, that’s when I screamed. It was different than in dreams where I was usually screaming like this, it was a lot louder. Soon I realized there was no point; I was directing my cry for help to an echoing forest that could never relay my message. He was laughing as his hand pressed on my throat from behind. It didn’t appear he had any intention of hurting me but silencing me didn’t seem to faze him in the least.
“Come on, Pete do you really want to do it like this?”
Sam stood watching with disapproval but with little intention of intervening.
“Hey either shut up or, assist in my little endeavor.” Pete retorted preoccupied with the loose hold he had on me and balancing the instability of his drunken stupor. Sam seemed torn for a moment but then looking at me with unseeing eyes turned and went inside the shop. My last hope, gone. Now I was truly alone. The things that he was saying made angry, petrified tears well up in my eyes blinding me even further. What he was aiming for, what, if I or someone else didn’t prevent, he was going to do to me. I started shaking uncontrollably and I turned to him still locked in his grasp, making him look into my eyes and see the raw fear he’d provoked. Stupid. He was even calmer than I’d thought. He chuckled and leaned in so slowly and upon inhaling a horrible amount of alcohol, I stopped breathing. Then his lips passed mine and brushed against my ear.
“You know, the faster you let this happen babe, the faster it’ll be over.”
My mind went blank, the interminable silence had almost seemed welcoming but now it was suffocating me, if I let this happen? How in the hell did he expect me to do that? I was so angry that I could feel so helpless, so out of control and manipulated. I relaxed a fraction and his clench did ever so slightly too. That’s when I punched him. My right hand flew into his stomach with all the force I could give it. He exhaled sharply in visible pain and released me to hold his stomach. He was distracted for barely a second when he grabbed for me again, but by that time I was gone. I knew I couldn’t outrun him so I hid in the maze of cars. I had very little time to think of something before he found me.
It took him mere minutes to reach me as I leapt over a small car and on top of another. He followed easily seeming more amused than angry, stumbling very little for the amount of drinking he’d been doing. Well sure he had all the time in the world, I wasn’t going anywhere. My foot caught of course, I fell on the hood of an old Cadillac and his arm immediately coiled around my leg pulling my entire body toward him. Though completely exhausted I was kicking and thrashing as much as I could but he had me pinned as he climbed onto the hood with me. He was out of breath but too jacked out with adrenaline to really notice.
His hand pinned both my arms above my head and his weight stopped the rest of my body. His right hand clamped my mouth shut to prevent me from screaming, though all it was serving as at this point was an annoyance. Suddenly everything was motionless and dead silent. His eyes weren’t as wide as they had been but his mouth still hung in that crooked, wild, disgusting grin. I knew that fighting him was useless, the fear made me dizzy, incapable of thinking. I knew there had to be some way.
Once the idea occurred to me of what I had to do, I closed my eyes in complete terror and then opened them in submission. When he saw this, his grip loosened almost immediately. I blushed something inside me that was real, and looked away from him. He didn’t seem confused, rather impressed with himself. Was his ego really that huge? Or was he really that tanked? I wasn’t smiling but I had stopped trying to scream. His hand abandoned my mouth very quickly then. Figures he probably couldn’t wait any longer. As vicious thoughts pounded inside my head he ran his finger down my neck watching it. My skin rippled under the hot trial it left behind and then a shudder ran through my body, he leaned into me and groaned. I felt sick. His free hand ran under my shirt and pressed heavily against the small of my back, pulling me off the car toward him. He took my face lightly in his palm, rubbed his thumb along my lower lip then bent in quickly kissing me with anger and victory. My left hand found the edge of a windshield wiper and my fingers curled around it involuntarily. My right hand slipped easily into my side pocket and brushed against the dull edge of my last lifeline. I closed my eyes and pictured anything but this.