To Catch a Dorpersnoodle

By
More by this author
Legends tell of the horrible monstrosity that is Dorpersnoodle. Ferocious, blood thirsty, and a little chubby, Dorpersnoodle haunts the Inuits of Alaska that are lost at night. Some say the legend was created to keep the children inside at night, and others say that Dorpersnoodle is just a big polar bear. The storytellers will soon be humbled though, as something begins to go awry.

On an average summer day in Alaska, Inuit Joe and two other men leave to hunt for a whale to capture. The calm, glassy water presents the perfect conditions to spot a spout, and the men begin to scan. After several hours of searching under a clear sky, there is nothing to be found. Disappointed and discouraged, the men head home to tell of the strange news. Suddenly, they spot something laying on a pack of sheet ice! Not a live whale, but one severely mangled and bleeding. A common sight to the Inuits, they grip their spears to fight off any near by polar bears, but they hear and see nothing. In a bone-chilling silence, the wind howls through an ice cave. Not wanting to waste a kill, the men gather on shore and rope up the gory mess. In due haste, they tie the beast to the boat and push off of the ice to head back home. As they round a glacier and the cave begins to fall out of view, Inuit Joe glances back. For just an instant, the shadow of a monster is seen. In shock, he looks up to see a pair of blood-red eyes meeting his. The boat continues forward, and the beast fades into the distance. That night around a fire, the story is told to the small village. Mocked by the village, the man goes to bed a pariah.

As months pass, fewer and fewer whales are caught. The men starve as they give the remaining scraps to the women and children. The village desperately searches for answers, and Inuit Joe ponders late at night. On another bone-chilling night, the wind howls once more as Inuit Joe heats up some tea and considers the reasons for the missing whales. He begins to doze off as a sharp, piercing scream cuts through the air. Joe instinctively reaches for his spear, brandishing it fiercely. As he steps outside, the sound of trampling can be heard as a shadow sprints off into the night. Joe sighs in relief to see it flee. The smell of decaying fish burns the midnight air. In fear of going outside again, Joe crawls back into his hut to get some rest. While slowly drifting off, it hits Joe like a Mack truck. The monster must be the legend of Dorpersnoodle, and it must be the one eating whales! Knowing that everyone must still be asleep, Joe falls back to sleep in preparation for his hunt tomorrow.

The next day, Joe springs to life as he recalls the events of the past night. He walks out of his hut to find giant quills like those of a porcupine and bloodied claw marks carved into the ice. Joe rushes to tell the village leader and convinces him to launch a hunting expedition to slay the creature known as Dorpersnoodle.

The water is calm and glassy, the sky is a clear blue. That familiar bone-chilling wind gusts and howls in the cave where Joe found that first mangled whale. Torches ablaze and spears at the ready, Inuit Joe and nine other men enter the cave with only the intent to kill. Another howling wind and the ground itself quakes in terror as a ten-foot-tall shadow reveals itself. Snarling, foaming at the mouth, and covered in thick, bony spines, the beast with red eyes roars. The men charge and thrust their spears at Dorpersnoodle. To no effect, the spears are absorbed by the thick quills. Dorpersnoodle lashes outward, striking at the men with razor-sharp claws. As one of the Inuit men falls, Joe spots a chink in Dorpersnoodle’s seemingly impregnable armor. With a heroic leap, Joe tackles Dorpersnoodle and readies his spear to thrust at its neck. With one last breath, Dorpersnoodle whimpers like a dog and shifts its view to a deep corner of the cave. Joe thrusts the spear, fatally wounding the beast. It shifts its stare back to Joe, and a single tear falls from its eye as it finally dies. Satisfied at last, Joe grins to the other men as they praise him like a hero. The men recover their injured village member and load into the boat. As they round a glacier, Inuit Joe glances back to look at the cave. For just an instant, Joe sees the shadows of two red-eyed orphans.





Post a Comment

Be the first to comment on this article!

bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback