Look Both Ways

It was a normal, average, windy and gray autumn day. What I’m about to tell you is how my brother died that very same cold day. Charlie looked left, then right, and then left again, just like he was supposed to. He had scampered ahead of me to the crosswalk, eager to leave my watchful eye and sharp tongue. I told him to wait. He turned, laughed over his shoulder, and stepped into the clear street strewn with leaves. For a moment the crisp breeze teased his blonde curls around his ears, and he stalled in the middle of the road, turning to look at me one more time. He smiled, his blue eyes twinkling, rosy cheeks round and sweet, I called to him playfully, to come back, but he turned away again, and as he did, that look of childish innocence and glee turned to shock and fear. His blue eyes drained, just little blue chips of sky now, and before I had time to react, a diesel truck swerved to miss me. But not my brother. My scream blended with the screeching of brakes and in the flurries of settling leaves, silence descended like a blanket. A flock of crows took flight in a nearby tree, their woeful caws echoing my heart.

Now I stand at that spot again. Exactly one year later. The street had been closed due to the accident. So now it seemed like a ghost town, so silent and grave. I stood shivering in the middle of the street, orange and yellow leaves dancing around my feet. And cried for the first time since It happened. And then, the strangest thing happened. My brother was there, on the sidewalk, across the street. Impossible! I thought. No. This couldn’t be happening. This shouldn’t be happening. But he seemed solid enough, so I spoke softly to him, “Charlie?” I whispered to the wind. “is that you?” He was different though, taller, leaner older. But defiantly my Charlie. But I could not move towards him, so I called out again. “Charlie! Talk to me!” His eyes held a wisdom now that had not been there before, and it scared me. He smiled sadly, but did not speak or make an effort to move towards me. I was gasping now. “Charlie!” I sobbed, pleaded, “Please!!” His eyes were still so sad and blue, so alive. He smiled his sad smile again, and raised his arm, and pointed down the abandoned street. He shook his head at me, his sorrowful smile, still fixed in place. I turned to see what he was pointing at. But it happened so fast, I did not have time to move. A scream rang out once, pitching to the sound of screeching brakes. The truck made contact at a terrifying 70 miles per hour. And It was so fast, I never felt a thing. Just darkness, covering me through the blood.
I joined my brother that cold, clear day. Exactly the day one year after he left. So if I was you, I’d look both ways tonight.





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Aspiringauhor said...
Apr. 10, 2011 at 4:35 pm
I thought this was good, although it was depressing as well. I just wanted to point out that in the beginning, it was a bit choppy in the way you said, "What I'm about to tell you..." Also, at the end, you said, "If I was you..." It should actually be "If I were you..." But other than that, good job.
 
XxDeadlyKissxX said...
Mar. 10, 2011 at 7:32 pm

This is amazingly amazing:P

keep it up! No matter what people tell you! Im serious! No one should be able to change you! I'd love to see more of your work!! I'll be checking! :)

 
weirdonpurpose said...
May 28, 2010 at 4:50 pm
thanks! i'll check it out :)
 
ZadaRox101 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 28, 2010 at 2:52 pm
That is amazing!! I loved the last line...you may like my story "The Guardian".....well, done!!!
 
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