Rose: Shermen Hill High Chapt.1

December 21, 2009
By Hersheys BRONZE, Daytona Beach, Florida
Hersheys BRONZE, Daytona Beach, Florida
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
I don't have any. I just do what makes me feel right.

Chapter 1

Unexpected Visit
Glenn Mathews layed down flat against her hospital bed, feeling impatient and restless, like how she had been feeling for a long while now and it was taking over her. Spending every minute of her day inside the hospital room 119 was the worst feeing she had ever felt in her life , even worse, she just couldnt draw herself up from the bed , knowing that if she stood up, she would be tempted to bust out of the hospital, since the thought ran through her mind everytime she thought about how miserable she was. She didnt really know how she got there, or what happened to her, she couldnt remember anything after being hardly hit on the head with a piece of thick wood. By who? she had no idea. She had only felt the pain pounding against her forehead and waking up to find herself in the horrible place, the hospital.Her parents visited her once each week to keep her company coming along with the bright faces of her two younger ones Kristy and Peter. Their visit always made her glad and relieved and she made sure that she appeared happy and alright in their front, not wanting to put worries in their heads and to cover up the dreadfull feeling within her that was uncausiously changing to depression. During the first time of their visit, the doctor had told them that she was diagnosed with troma.Shifting her body from one side to another, trying to find a convinient positon, it was unread on her face that she was surprised when the room door suddently and slowly opened as an unexpected visitor stepped inside. It was a mascline looking gentleman wearing a grey suit and appearing neat and clean. He was tall and tan in complexion with jet black hair that hung on his forehead. Glenn stared at him as he, with confident approached her bed. A trillion of questions formed in her mind at that moment, sighting some guy that she had never seen in her life entering the room. The guy just happened to be a serious detective searching for answers from her. Detective James Hernendez was his name. He was known to be a sophisticated young detective, as he appeared. He was just jumping into his 30s and just happened to be one of the youngest detectives in the company. He was determined to solve the case that was dropped just last month, February. Detective Richards, his former partner worked with him on the case, trying to find out the killer of a 16 year old girl named Rose Pheonix who died a few months ago, unfortionalty, each time they thought they were going somewhere, they would find themselves back to the top, right where they started. Detective Richards gave up, moving on to another case that needed to be attended to. But no matter what, Hernandez couldnt take his mind off of the case. Soon, he became determined to get somewhere that Detective Richards had never gone to. Thinking of the case in his mind everyday, he suddently became obsessed with it. He knew that there was an untold story that needed to be known. Now, he took a seat next to the bed, staring at the weak girl in front of him. Her big round blue eyes pale with no expression, dark sores shown around and under her eyes. Her carmel colored long straight hair scattered and matted against the pillow and her skin so pale, almost looking lifeless as she gazed up at Detective Hernandez. He firstly observed her condition. He learn more of the case, he had decided to see the person who saw everything happen right before her eyes, he wasnt sure if she was the victim or the murderer. Before he came, he made sure that her condition was getting better, enough for her to talk. And though he knew that she didnt have the slightest memory in her mind, he was willing to help her to remember. Staring at her face, a swip of pity came through him, but immediatly, he shook it out, not wanting it to get in the way of the case.

The author's comments:
This is just a small part of chapter 1 of my story. Please do me the favor of reading this and tell me your opinion. Your opinion matters alot! Please! I need help to become a better writer!

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