I Now Pronounce You Wife and Liver

December 6, 2009
By CourtneyC GOLD, Phoenix, Arizona
CourtneyC GOLD, Phoenix, Arizona
14 articles 3 photos 4 comments

“I now pronounce you husband and wife.” These seven small but significant words were the beginning of Joseph Smith’s new life. After twenty years of searching for a soul mate, Joseph had finally found the love of his life, Amare Consuele, a wealthy French woman who worked as a secretary at his real estate office.

They had fallen madly in love after the morning they met; Joseph could remember that day like it happened yesterday...He was walking through the office with his nose in a book, like always, and a young woman was walking down the same hallway from the other way, holding a scolding hot cup of coffee in her hands. Not watching where he was going, Joseph stumbled into the young woman and spilled her coffee all over the both of them. He was terribly embarrassed at his clumsiness, but somehow the woman found him attractive and asked him on a date. From that moment on, they were inseparable and became engaged a year later.

For their romantic honeymoon, Joseph and Amare decided to go to the Konica Islands off the coast of South Carolina. On the third day of the honeymoon, Joseph woke up early in the morning feeling a weird sensation in his back. He turned to his new wife and found her side of the bed was empty. Assuming that his wife had gone on the balcony, Joseph turned over to find the bed sheets covered in dark red blood. He jumped out of bed and frantically searched the hotel room, looking for his wife. Amare was nowhere to be seen, so Joseph called the police. “Hello, I’m in the Grand Hotel, room 334 and my wife is missing. My bed is full of blood; I think someone kidnapped my wife and tried to stab me in the back.”

The police officer replied, “Sir, I am sure you are overreacting but we will send a patrol car over to evaluate the situation.”

At that moment, a loud, piercing scream was heard from the other end of the telephone, “Officer, I have a huge hole in my back!”

The officer quickly responded, “Sir, do not move, lay flat on the floor and wait until we send our emergency team over. If anyone comes to your door besides our team, do not let them in!”

With that, the officer and the man in the hotel room with a hole in his back hung up the phone.
After a few minutes, the emergency team came and took Joseph Smith to the hospital. His breathing had become shallow and his blood was now a sickly, brown color. He knew that his life was in jeopardy and wished that his wife was there to comfort him.

Joseph was rushed to the Intensive Care Unit and the nurses hooked him up to life support, watching on the screen as his heart rate declined. The doctor came in a short time after to explain to Joseph what had happened to his wife. “Joseph?”

“Yes doctor?”

“The police did a thorough investigation on the disappearance of your wife and found her location to be India. Joseph, your wife is the well-known organ thief, Morgan Kidney. She has been on the run for years and is famous for marrying men and running off with their insides. So far, she’s had twenty-two husbands.”

Joseph’s mouth dropped in disbelief, “I-I can’t believe that sweet woman could do this to me...why would she want my organs?”

The doctor looked at Joseph sympathetically, “Joseph, all she cares about is the money. In India, you can sell livers for over $100,000, and that’s what she did with yours.”

“Wait—what did you say? She sold my liver to people in India?”

“Yes, that’s what she’s famous for – selling livers to India and kidneys on eBay, people will buy anything on that website. Now I must go now, you need your sleep.”

After the doctor left, Joseph’s heart rate continued to plummet drastically. His heart had been crushed and he felt no need to continue living. As he remembered the good times he had with his new wife, a tear rolled down his cheek. In the cold, white hospital room, by himself, Joseph envisioned his wife standing next to him and he spoke his last words, “You stole my heart a year ago and now my liver too...”

The author's comments:
This was inspired by a writing assignment we had to do at school; we had to write an urban legend.

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