*Satan's messenger*

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Theres a man sitting on a park bench dark
hair black to the sight. powdery blue eyes.
His outfit consists of a long dark trench
and black jeans onix boots and a red dress
shirt . He looked like the angel of death..
Little did she know he was very close.

Erin hardly ever peered over her book pages
to look upon the outside world. Her mind was
too busy thinking of her knight in shining armor
What she wished from her dreams.~ She trips~

Jasons gaze shifted from the concrete to the
thin girl whom fell upon the roughed ground
after her foot had caught on his. He helped her
up.

"hello miss you should be more careful"

Erin struggled to her feet " I know i just
get so caught up in the novel.." she stopped
Once she noticed how handsome the boy
was.

"oh my" she said. he smirked.

"if your going to say god im far from that"
she smiled and shook her head.

" i dont believe in only one god"

"you should he's out there..





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This article has 16 comments. Post your own now!

PJD17 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 25, 2011 at 7:14 pm
very good writing and a very interesting story  i thought that the dialogue was very good and very clever  i'd like to read more of your work  keep writing   could you please take a look at and comment on my story Manso's shame  i'm writing a novel length story featuring the same character so i'm really looking for feedback on that story 
 
KentuckyJohnWall11 said...
May 4, 2010 at 8:16 pm
Very interesting plot the dialouge kind of started abruptly and there are captilization errors but I see a very good story in this.
 
burningembers This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 12, 2010 at 7:47 pm
I love the plot, with a little editing it would be perfect.  : )  Keep writing!
 
SageSin replied...
Apr. 13, 2010 at 9:28 am
thanks for commenting one and what kind of editing? I love feedback! Thanks aslo for telling me to continue to write!!!!!!
 
burningembers This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 13, 2010 at 7:16 pm
Nothing big, just things like "i dont"  which should be "I don't."  I think I'm being nitpicky, but it just makes for easier reading.  Keep up the great work!
 
SageSin replied...
Apr. 15, 2010 at 11:54 am

ahhh puncituaiona dn spealling never was good at that XD Dont worry about it ur a cool person and thanks for the help maybe you should edit my work ^_^

////,..,^ FANG SAYS: BOO!

 
Venus_Queen said...
Apr. 11, 2010 at 10:04 am
This is really good! are you writing more?
 
SageSin replied...
Apr. 12, 2010 at 9:38 am
I may but no one has said much about this one so idk and where to take it well fang has an idea ////,...,^ TO H***! XD
 
SageSin replied...
Apr. 15, 2010 at 11:55 am

IDk i asm not shure if i should write more lol  what do you think?

///,..,^ FANG SAYS: hes unsure!!!

 
citylightsgirl93 said...
Apr. 6, 2010 at 6:32 pm
This was sooo goood!! I really honor the fact that you weren't afraid to write about something that so many other people are afraid to express their opinion on! *Favorites!!*
 
SageSin replied...
Apr. 7, 2010 at 10:54 am
Thanks! lol I can't believe you favorited! ////,...,^FANG SAYS:THANK YOU CITYLIGHTSGIRL93!
 
citylightsgirl93 replied...
Apr. 7, 2010 at 2:27 pm
haha your welcome fangs!
 
ZAVERY said...
Apr. 5, 2010 at 12:20 pm
Love the topic! 999,999.9 STARS!!!!!!!!!
 
SageSin replied...
Apr. 6, 2010 at 9:33 am
Thanks for commenting! and I know it can be a touchy subject so i reeeelllleee hope no one gets angry with me ^_^
 
ZAVERY replied...
Apr. 6, 2010 at 3:22 pm
Haha... don't think so... :
 
SageSin replied...
Apr. 7, 2010 at 10:52 am
hmmmm well then ///,...,^ FANG SAYS HI!
 
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