The vast expanse of white stretched out before me, a frozen, unforgiving sheet. My whole being was numb to the core the places where bare skin showed burned with an unquenchable white fire. And I knew now as the helicopter whirred away causing the already massive white higher into the air, that this time the game keepers wouldn’t let me survive. I would not escape them again. I cried then. For the first time in I don’t know how long. But my tears just froze on my cheeks, little crystals of sorrow, on dead porcelain that was once warm skin. Hate welled inside me for him. The traitor. He betrayed me. I told him everything. And then suddenly on that barren Antarctic wasteland I was washed with memories of a warm body pressed up against my side on the couch, warm and golden light everywhere. A soft familiar hand stroking my hair… then I was snapped back to reality. I was here now. I was here in a hell where everything was white and blue. A hell that was so cold, you could freeze as you burned. So with this thought close to my small, chilled and tortured heart, I set off into the vast landscape of nothingness.
November 10, 2009