Point At Me

September 16, 2009
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For a while now I’ve been lying down, immobile. I look up with closed eyes and see nothing but black.


I sat on the lawn of the park with Lizzie and Lori. We were having our annual Girl’s Night Out.
“So what happened with Bobby?” Lori asks me.

“He got into drinking and has been drunk every time I call him and he’s drunk whenever we hang out. I called it quits. I don’t want to be with somebody like that.”

“Oh, hun, I’m sorry.” She places her hand on my leg to comfort me.

“How’d he take it,” Lizzie asks me.

I bite my lip and look away from their wondering stares. “Um…not so good. He got really mad.”

“He didn’t do anything did he?”

“No, no, no. Nothing like that. Just yelling and throwing some stuff against the floor.”

“He’ll get over it,” Lori says.

“Yeah, he’ll just have another drink and forget all about it,” Lizzie jokes. She always knew how to cheer me up and make me laugh.

“Come on, let’s have some fun,” I say as I stand up. The sprinkler system turns on and the whole park is engulfed in a giant bubble of water spraying in every which way.
We run through the water, laughing, slipping down and having a good time. I was grateful we had this night. After the break-up, I needed some friends to talk to and to have a fun time with the girls and none of us –thank God– was drunk. Just how I liked it.

“Hey, I’m going to call my dad and let him know I’ll be staying out later than expected,” I tell them. I run to my truck and pull my cell phone out of my purse. I call my dad and let him know.

“Bobby?” I whisper as I see somebody whose outline in the dark looks just like Bobby’s.

“Honey? Is everything okay?” my dad asks me on the phone.

“Y-yeah. Um, hold on, I’ll be right back. I think Bobby’s here. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him.”

“Be careful,” he warns me. I put my phone on the bed of my truck, the flip still open.

“Bobby, what are you doing here?” I ask him. By now he’s close enough that I can tell that it is, in fact, him.

“Leslie, Leslie, Leslie,” he says slurring my name, obviously drunk.
“You did a very stupid thing.”

“And what would that be?” I put my hands on my hip and pop my knee. “You’re the one doing stupid things Bobby. Getting drunk every single night. You see, this is why I dumped you.”

He takes a few steps backwards, using the shadow of trees as a cloak in the darkness. He raises his hand and points at me. “Les…is everything all right?” I hear very quietly from my cell phone.

I groan. “Yes Dad, everything’s fine.” I turn to Bobby. “You know what, why don’t you just go somewhere else. Please Bobby, this is painful enough.”

He stands there, still pointing at me. His hand shaking slightly. That’s all he does; is stand there, silently, pointing at me.
“You don’t…break up…with me,” he says.

I hear a loud, ear splitting noise and feel a massive amount of pain in my chest. I immediately fall to the ground. “LESLIE!” My father’s voice, frantic and worried, comes quietly from my phone. The pain grows so immense that I can hardly bare it.

Lizzie and Lori come rushing soon after. I can vaguely see Lizzie tackling Bobby down to the ground and yelling at him at the top of her lungs. Lori is by my side trying to help me. She jumps to my truck and grabs my phone, hanging up on my father and immediately calling 911.

By the time they get here, it’s too late.


Six feet under. In a box lined with comfortable fabrics that slip and slide against my skin.
For a while now I’ve been lying down, immobile. I look up with closed eyes and see nothing but black. I guess that’s what happens when you’re dead.

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This article has 13 comments. Post your own now!

AntWrangler13 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 8, 2011 at 3:55 pm
Wow, this is amazing. Captivating, even, keep writing! :D Check out some of my stuff?
Moonstream4495 said...
Mar. 22, 2011 at 7:13 am
Love it!!! Nice job! (:
LASwan said...
Sept. 25, 2010 at 4:30 pm
Wow! Great story. Is she alive or dead? You could really expand this. Awesome thrills.
luckyducky4 said...
Jul. 21, 2010 at 2:13 pm
i loooooved how the begining and the end where!! u write so good!!
xxzoE said...
Jul. 21, 2010 at 1:57 am

omgoshhh! WHen i read that i doent think i breathed the whole time. AND it took me a couple of minutes to gather my thoughts!! thats was amazingly written! a true talent! 


You should be very proud! 

maarika1 replied...
Jul. 21, 2010 at 2:07 am
Aw, you're too kind! Thank you. =]
xxzoE replied...
Jul. 21, 2010 at 2:14 am
anytime! let me know when you add more work! i think im in love with your writing! LOL! thats a tad creepy i know!
maarika1 replied...
Jul. 21, 2010 at 2:17 am
haha, it's all good. =] I have another story that I've written but...I don't remember if I posted it. haha I'll have to check. =P
xxzoE replied...
Jul. 21, 2010 at 2:48 am
haha! well if it is add the link on a comment and i cant wait to check it out
maarika1 replied...
Jul. 21, 2010 at 2:51 am




acc13a said...
Jan. 30, 2010 at 10:36 am
vampiresrock said...
Dec. 17, 2009 at 12:42 pm
WOW! that was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good! scary very scary!
maarika1 replied...
Dec. 17, 2009 at 7:58 pm
=] Thanks.
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