Im not alone.. | Teen Ink

Im not alone..

September 15, 2009
By Anonymous

It was a cold, spring day. The sky was pale and gray from all of the pouring rain. To me this was normal, living in Michigan. I had just gotten home from school and i was enervated, i could hardly breath. As usual i was alone in my big house because i didn't have any brother's or sister's and i was adopted. The only one there was the maid, Shela. "I'm home!" I announced. Nobody anwsered. I headed up stairs to change out of moisty clothes. As i entered my room i took off my shirt and turned on the radio. Something about blasting the music just made you forget about your troubles. As I finished changing, my stomach grumbled, so i went downstairs to tell Shela to cook me something."Shela! Where are you?" i didn't excpect much of a response because Shela could barely speak english. "Hello?" i said. As i turned into the kitchen there was a dead body with red footprints next to it that lead to the laundry room. It was shela she had been killed! The thick, red drops of blood dripped down her mouth. I was in shock and despair not knowing what to do! I ran upstirs as fast as i could! So fast, that i had missed the blood fingerprints on the rail of the stairs. I rushed to the right straight into my room not knowing what would happen next. The bed was adjacent to me so i grabbed it and barracaded the door. With little time left i grabbed my book bag and scavenged for my phone. It was gone! I opened my closet door and went inside, with nothing but a shoe as my weapon. As i leaned on my wall i felt cold finger prints grab my throat, and a menacing scratchy voice whispered in my ear, "goodbye." I felt as the sharp knife slit my throat and the blood raced down my neck. That's the last thing i can and will remember.


At the police station:
"So why did you do it?" said Max Warner.
"I didn't do anything?" whispered the killer
Max yelled "You call seven dead teenagers nothing?"
"I guess you could say i was just having a bit of fun!"

The End


The author's comments:
I did it randomly. can you tell by the story. It sucks!

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This article has 13 comments.


on Aug. 14 2011 at 11:24 pm
rage_against_the_machine BRONZE, St. Augustine, Florida
4 articles 7 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
Difficult takes a day. Impossible takes.. oh, about a week?

I feel like this just happened at too quickly a pace, perhaps try to draw out the suspense more and really make the reader nervous. You should check out my story, Glass, if it ever gets posted, and my drawings :)

Bethi SILVER said...
on Sep. 18 2010 at 11:16 am
Bethi SILVER, Winston, Oregon
5 articles 12 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Every soul is a poem" -Michael Franti

the content of this is really good(: its definately a great story line and idea. the writing was a bit sloppy but with work youll get super great(: keep it up. each peice will get better(:

on Apr. 2 2010 at 10:15 pm
future_writter_1996, Peoria, Illinois
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Writing is a passion and I want to share it

oh my god....while i was reading that i got chills up m spine...lol well i really liked that keep up the good work :)

on Mar. 10 2010 at 2:59 pm
sidneynicole BRONZE, McKinney, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 48 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When life knock you down to your knees, just know you are in a perfect postition to pray."

whoa hahah wow this was good haha

on Mar. 10 2010 at 10:54 am
BleedingRose PLATINUM, Frederic, Wisconsin
33 articles 1 photo 378 comments

Favorite Quote:
*The darkness holds infinite possibilities.

(mine)

I really like this story, but I think you could have written it better. Don't get me wrong, the idea's good, but it sounds like a kid telling a story instead of you writing in it. IDK, maybe more detail? Keep writing and don't hate me, I'm just trying to help! :)

on Feb. 23 2010 at 4:08 pm
StonerChick SILVER, Frankenmuth, Michigan
5 articles 1 photo 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
Its a dog eat dog world and we're all wearing bacon undearwear

why's you make it by anonymous though? if you want us to look at ur other stuff?

on Feb. 23 2010 at 4:06 pm
StonerChick SILVER, Frankenmuth, Michigan
5 articles 1 photo 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
Its a dog eat dog world and we're all wearing bacon undearwear

OH MY GOD!!!! I live in Michigan and I'm super paranoid so I check my closet every time I go in my room, and the closet in the bathroom when I take a show! So great....this story won't be good for me. Your too good a writer, Now I'm extra freaked!

on Dec. 23 2009 at 9:44 pm
Geovanni BRONZE, Kissimme, Florida
1 article 0 photos 6 comments
I'm coming up with more stuff so keep an eye out! :)

on Dec. 23 2009 at 9:39 pm
Geovanni BRONZE, Kissimme, Florida
1 article 0 photos 6 comments
I'm coming up with more stuff so keep an eye out! :)

on Dec. 23 2009 at 9:39 pm
Geovanni BRONZE, Kissimme, Florida
1 article 0 photos 6 comments
I'm coming up with more stuff so keep an eye out! :)

on Dec. 17 2009 at 12:44 pm
vampiresrock GOLD, Cornish, New Hampshire
12 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you oranges, make grape juice and sit back and let the world wounder how the hell you just did that.

woh that was.........crazy. Super scary. Good thing i don't have a closet in my room.........

hoodk said...
on Oct. 30 2009 at 1:23 pm
Wow! That was an interesting story and very suspenseful. There was no spelling mistakes and very descriptive words like barracaded and adjacent. I like how there was words to create an image in my head. I would of ended the end part better but, overall a suspenseful story to write about.

on Oct. 29 2009 at 11:50 am
barbestbcb BRONZE, Brooklin, Other
1 article 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them" - Walt Disney

That was really good. I love being the first to comment on stories like this! I think that you should keep writing more mysteries. A good short story to read... suspensful, and surprising... Overall FANTASTIC!