Water Lily

September 29, 2009
David cupped the soft water lily in his hand. The fragile, little lily, into his hand, but then...ever so gently, his hands broke apart, and the lily fell. It fell into the crystal clear pool of water that Kellie Hutchinson drowned herself in. The water lily sank deep into it, and instead of floating, as it should of, it drowned. It sank deep into the pool, unlike how it should have floated. Then slowly, it turned blood-red, and the water turned bloody, and dark.

I jolted awake. Sweat dripped down my whole body, and my sheets stuck to my thighs. I sighed, straightened up, and looked at my alarm clock. It was only 4:00 in the morning, I couldn't believe how horrible that nightmare had been. My best friend Kellie had killed herself, just a week ago.

David, Kellie, and me had been so close. She was always there for me, and then she killed herself. No one knew why, but I wish I had. She had just drowned herself one day, and sometimes I wish I could to... But David was always there for me. He convinced me not to kill myself, or hurt myself. Then I started having these nightmares. Horrible, dreadful, nightmares.

Like the one I just had. I got up, and strode over to the small cabinet that held my journal. The one I wrote in almost every day. Whether it be a bad daydream or a nightmare, it was always written down. It helped me deal with all this pain.

I recorded the nightmare, then padded back to my bed. I tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn't of course. I pulled out my Samsung Touch and texted David. I knew he wouldn't respond, but I hoped he would anyways. The small windows in my room cast in the amber glow of the sun that had finally risen up. I must have lied in bed for two hours, because when I looked at my clock it said it was 6.

I got up, and pulled on some jeans and my yellow tank top. I smiled at my reflection in the mirror, and headed out the door. Grabbing a granola bar on the kitchen counter, I went outside and jogged over to my bike. It always took an hour to get to school from my house. I got on my bike and started pedaling. Then I started pedaling furiously, and then I was crashing, falling, hurting, and I saw the bike wheels spinning like crazy.

“Ugh...” I groaned, and then strong hands were lifting me up.

“You ok?” David asked me. I recognized his gravely voice, and smiled a bit at it.

“Haha...Yeah...You saw me?” I asked, dusting myself off and grabbing up my bike.

“Yeah. First you looked so calm, and you got all fast, and totally face-planted.” David said, smiling. His teeth were so white, and nice. I loved when he smiled at me...

“Well, uh...thanks for helping me up.” I said, and we both smiled at each other. I coughed and got back on my bike. “See ya at school!” I exclaimed and then pedaled off.

The day went by fairly well, but when I got home, and tried to sleep all I had were nightmares. At first they were just bad dreams, and then they became... horrid. I woke up screaming. Kellie should never have killed herself.

I got up, and wrote my nightmares into my journal. Then I walked outside, hopped over the fence that bordered Kellie's house, stripped off my clothing, and quietly dropped into the pool. I contemplated drowning myself, but stopped. And just floated, letting the water calm my body. I heard the subtle splash of water next to me. “Hello??” I called out. I was only in a bra and my underwear, I didn't need a creeper.

“It's just me...” A strong gravely voice called out. Slowly hands came around my torso.

“David...” I whispered feeling his hot breath on my neck.

“Did I ever mention how Kellie died?” He asked me, pulling my body up against me, so that we floated as one.

“No, how?” I asked, and listened to him breath.

“She was out here one night, cause' she couldn't sleep. She texted me to come over. Said she wanted me. She was in her bikini. She didn't kill herself, Lindsey. I killed her.” He said. I took a sharp intake of breath, and tried to kick away from him, but he held me to tightly. “Tsk, tsk, tsk, I thought you knew better than to run away when you know you can't.” David said, pushing up against me.

He was behaving as if he wanted to have me, but was going to kill me in the end. “When I saw you riding your bike... I just knew I needed to have you. To add you to my collection. Remember all those unsolved murders that have been popping up around the country? I've killed all those girls. I added them to my collection. You should be next.” He whispered in my ear. He started kissing my neck. I wanted to scream, but it seemed my voice was stuck in my throat. I kicked at him, and tried to get away.

“STOP IT!” He hissed, kicking the back of my legs and slowly ripping my knee out of its socket. I let out a moan, and went dead weight. He held me up, and started kissing me again. “I want you so bad Lindsey.” He whispered.

“Get away from me!!!” I muttered not kicking him, but trying to tread water away from him.

“Tell me you love me...” He whispered. Gently I did.... The end came anyways... I was his water lily. I made the water run red. David took a Swiss army knife to my throat, and cut it, slowly. “Goodbye, my love.” He had told me softly, right as I died. Now I was just another plaything to his collection.

Join the Discussion

This article has 46 comments. Post your own now!

Cece said...
Mar. 1, 2010 at 10:40 am
I liked te end... gently i did......
but i liked it better in the lovley bones copier!
Sarbear This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 23, 2010 at 1:09 pm
that was so... lovely bones! the flower, and the copied ending paragraph. this was well written, though. i never expected david.. i mean, when he got in the water and started asking her if he'd ever told her how kelly died, then i knew but that was such a surprise!! good job, just try to make the piece your own, without copying another book
check out my work too:-)
SweetRoses replied...
Mar. 24, 2010 at 10:57 am
Guuuuys, I've never read lovely bones or seen the movie. I just thought it sounded good. Sorry if it copied it *Shrug* didn't mean to copy. :( Sorry!
iKaye said...
Feb. 19, 2010 at 12:14 am
I loved the first paragraph. Maybe instead of 'bloody and dark' something more like 'turned a deep scarlet color' or something more with color. I also thought the 'pool' was a natural water source, didn't catch on till the end that it was at her house. I didn't loooove the part where she was biking and 'suddenly went really fast', thats just -drama llama- to me. To set up. And whats he randomly doing there? Do they both go to the school?
A... (more »)
Carol said...
Jan. 18, 2010 at 2:44 pm
Wow, that was great! It was such a twist, i didn't expect David to be the murderer. I seriously believed she commited suicide, hmm maybe i'm too trusting. Anyway, keep up the great writing! :)
soccercrazy said...
Dec. 25, 2009 at 8:54 pm
this was really deep, very descriptive, good details, it had a teen feeling, and it was suspenseful, horrid, and a touch of fake scary, perfect for a thriller. good job on it, i want to hear more on this storyline too.
Darkchloe14 said...
Dec. 25, 2009 at 5:14 pm
That was so messed up. Talk about being the victim! I loved it.
vampiresrock said...
Dec. 3, 2009 at 4:56 pm
Wow! That gave me goosbumps! not an easy thing to do! good job!
MadelynHope said...
Nov. 30, 2009 at 12:41 am
aww.... at first i so wanted david to end up with her/you.... but....
thats really good!!! totally unexpected!! XD u did a great job!!!
kewl_critic said...
Nov. 18, 2009 at 7:30 pm
No, dont make it a novel. it one of those stories that fits better as a short story. you should defidently add more detail about David, but i absolutely love the ending.
CBarber89 said...
Nov. 11, 2009 at 12:01 pm
I Love this story. It is amazing!!!
brianj said...
Oct. 22, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Normally, thrillers just are not my thing. I stray on my normal path like a little kid heading to kindergarten. Today, I just so happened to stumble into the thriller/mystery section and found, to my delight, a thriller that actually left chills on my spine. The middle spun wildly into the realm of the quaint and ordinary, like something you would read in a fiction piece. However, the beginning was a creative work of art that only made sense once I read the final part of the selection. It wa... (more »)
Danielle N. said...
Oct. 18, 2009 at 8:54 pm
wow this is scary! i love it tho good job!
~*The-Broken-Hearted-Girl*~ said...
Oct. 18, 2009 at 6:03 pm
rrreally scary. but you need a faster plot at the beginning. excuse my critisism. but maybe you could make it more mysterious. have this ending be in the VERY ending of a really long book?
StarlingChild said...
Oct. 15, 2009 at 9:44 pm
Fantastic! I envy the way you captured the horror of David's monstrous heart in such a novel way. If you changed this story into third person, keep the section you got, and continue writing about David's evil ways into a novel, I guarantee you'll sell out. I know I would read it! Good job!
SilverAngel777 said...
Oct. 15, 2009 at 3:09 pm
wow.... that ending was.....unexpected .....wow, that's a little freaky, i loved it!
writer101 said...
Oct. 15, 2009 at 10:53 am
oh my goodness!! that was awesome! Great job!!=D
dragonfan said...
Oct. 13, 2009 at 11:37 am
AMAZING! I love it! I hope you write more!!!!!! =D
TigerLynn said...
Oct. 11, 2009 at 3:34 pm
I like this story keep writing
ami<3 said...
Oct. 10, 2009 at 7:48 pm
OMG ITS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!
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