Water Lily

September 29, 2009
David cupped the soft water lily in his hand. The fragile, little lily, into his hand, but then...ever so gently, his hands broke apart, and the lily fell. It fell into the crystal clear pool of water that Kellie Hutchinson drowned herself in. The water lily sank deep into it, and instead of floating, as it should of, it drowned. It sank deep into the pool, unlike how it should have floated. Then slowly, it turned blood-red, and the water turned bloody, and dark.

I jolted awake. Sweat dripped down my whole body, and my sheets stuck to my thighs. I sighed, straightened up, and looked at my alarm clock. It was only 4:00 in the morning, I couldn't believe how horrible that nightmare had been. My best friend Kellie had killed herself, just a week ago.

David, Kellie, and me had been so close. She was always there for me, and then she killed herself. No one knew why, but I wish I had. She had just drowned herself one day, and sometimes I wish I could to... But David was always there for me. He convinced me not to kill myself, or hurt myself. Then I started having these nightmares. Horrible, dreadful, nightmares.

Like the one I just had. I got up, and strode over to the small cabinet that held my journal. The one I wrote in almost every day. Whether it be a bad daydream or a nightmare, it was always written down. It helped me deal with all this pain.

I recorded the nightmare, then padded back to my bed. I tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn't of course. I pulled out my Samsung Touch and texted David. I knew he wouldn't respond, but I hoped he would anyways. The small windows in my room cast in the amber glow of the sun that had finally risen up. I must have lied in bed for two hours, because when I looked at my clock it said it was 6.

I got up, and pulled on some jeans and my yellow tank top. I smiled at my reflection in the mirror, and headed out the door. Grabbing a granola bar on the kitchen counter, I went outside and jogged over to my bike. It always took an hour to get to school from my house. I got on my bike and started pedaling. Then I started pedaling furiously, and then I was crashing, falling, hurting, and I saw the bike wheels spinning like crazy.

“Ugh...” I groaned, and then strong hands were lifting me up.

“You ok?” David asked me. I recognized his gravely voice, and smiled a bit at it.

“Haha...Yeah...You saw me?” I asked, dusting myself off and grabbing up my bike.

“Yeah. First you looked so calm, and you got all fast, and totally face-planted.” David said, smiling. His teeth were so white, and nice. I loved when he smiled at me...

“Well, uh...thanks for helping me up.” I said, and we both smiled at each other. I coughed and got back on my bike. “See ya at school!” I exclaimed and then pedaled off.

The day went by fairly well, but when I got home, and tried to sleep all I had were nightmares. At first they were just bad dreams, and then they became... horrid. I woke up screaming. Kellie should never have killed herself.

I got up, and wrote my nightmares into my journal. Then I walked outside, hopped over the fence that bordered Kellie's house, stripped off my clothing, and quietly dropped into the pool. I contemplated drowning myself, but stopped. And just floated, letting the water calm my body. I heard the subtle splash of water next to me. “Hello??” I called out. I was only in a bra and my underwear, I didn't need a creeper.

“It's just me...” A strong gravely voice called out. Slowly hands came around my torso.

“David...” I whispered feeling his hot breath on my neck.

“Did I ever mention how Kellie died?” He asked me, pulling my body up against me, so that we floated as one.

“No, how?” I asked, and listened to him breath.

“She was out here one night, cause' she couldn't sleep. She texted me to come over. Said she wanted me. She was in her bikini. She didn't kill herself, Lindsey. I killed her.” He said. I took a sharp intake of breath, and tried to kick away from him, but he held me to tightly. “Tsk, tsk, tsk, I thought you knew better than to run away when you know you can't.” David said, pushing up against me.

He was behaving as if he wanted to have me, but was going to kill me in the end. “When I saw you riding your bike... I just knew I needed to have you. To add you to my collection. Remember all those unsolved murders that have been popping up around the country? I've killed all those girls. I added them to my collection. You should be next.” He whispered in my ear. He started kissing my neck. I wanted to scream, but it seemed my voice was stuck in my throat. I kicked at him, and tried to get away.

“STOP IT!” He hissed, kicking the back of my legs and slowly ripping my knee out of its socket. I let out a moan, and went dead weight. He held me up, and started kissing me again. “I want you so bad Lindsey.” He whispered.

“Get away from me!!!” I muttered not kicking him, but trying to tread water away from him.

“Tell me you love me...” He whispered. Gently I did.... The end came anyways... I was his water lily. I made the water run red. David took a Swiss army knife to my throat, and cut it, slowly. “Goodbye, my love.” He had told me softly, right as I died. Now I was just another plaything to his collection.

Join the Discussion

This article has 46 comments. Post your own now!

Yamilka Restituyo said...
Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:57 am
It's Awesome You Should Write Part 2 If You Haven't Done So, My Teacher Was Reading This The Other Day So I Came To Check It Out. Your Work Is Really Good Keep It Up.
Black_Rose_Princess said...
Jun. 14, 2012 at 8:47 pm
Wow, amazing! It just seemed a bit rushed, especially towards the end. Maybe spend a bit more time describing the characters, especially David. And the fact that there were murders across the county was something I felt should have come earlier in the story. I really did like the beginning and the plot. Keep on writing!
pearljamlvr said...
Feb. 25, 2012 at 12:21 pm
i liked it a lot, but it seemed to happen really fast.
holyblondecheerleaderbatman said...
Jan. 12, 2012 at 6:02 pm
i love this article 5 stars!!!!!!!
AshleyRagone said...
Dec. 21, 2011 at 8:08 pm
I really liked the story, it was relativly discriptive, however towards the end it seemed as if you were rushed.  Be discriptive the whole way through(:
AmyLee-FTW said...
Dec. 21, 2011 at 12:46 pm
Oh my god... I really like this! I like, love it!

If only it was longer TT^TT
rosykatnip97 said...
Nov. 14, 2011 at 5:06 pm
i think more description, and over all, more time in the story. its too rushed. great begining. you should also make it longer and let the reader get to know David's character. that would make it more surprising when she foud out that he was the killer and the reader would have mixed emotions about him. it would make her have more mixed emotions as well: her falling in love with him and then finding out that he's the killer and is going to kill her next is a great situation for a lot of characte... (more »)
lizlaughluv14 said...
Nov. 7, 2011 at 3:43 pm
The storyline is great; I just think you should have proofread a bit better and cleaned up a few phrases. Overall good work. Keep writing and please check out my work! :)
ShatteredPetals4 said...
Oct. 16, 2011 at 10:15 am
The beginning was well written and the imagery was great. However, there were a few grammatical errors, and I believe the ending was a bit obvious. Adding more characters and elaborating more on the character's day should fix the issue. The ending was a bit rushed. It would also have been helpful to mention the dead girls around the country earlier in the story as well. Keep writing because you have talent.
writerfreak21231This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 11, 2011 at 5:43 pm
wow that was amazing! Very edgey!!! ur an awesome writer!!!! if anyone had time could you check out my new story called Terror out of this world: The whole story
tylerbrooks20 said...
Jun. 6, 2011 at 1:01 pm
Pretty good i like that type of dark mystery, you should read my article Forever in Solitude and tell me what u think!!
tikapeek97 said...
Apr. 29, 2011 at 4:26 pm
wow that is really good. It was really creapy and I was on the edge of my seat the whole time, I could not stop reading. You should check out my story Running.
Moonstream4495 said...
Jan. 25, 2011 at 8:11 am
it's weird... the end is just like in the lovely bones. plagarizing?
hannah.maria replied...
Oct. 16, 2011 at 8:27 pm
i have to agree with you, Moonstream4495
thepreechyteenager said...
Aug. 24, 2010 at 7:41 am


Pretty physco, but I liked it.  I loved how who the killer was was totally unexpected, infact, I fell for it all the way and thought Kellie really was suicidal.  Oops.  Your description was great and I loved the forshadowing of the dream in the beginning to her killing.

All I might suggest is maybe give the main character a name, (<--  I don't know if you thought of one, but I suggest Lily, lol)

Oh, and maybe when the main character is wakin... (more »)

Laura M. said...
Aug. 2, 2010 at 12:38 am
This story had some great imagery which I really enjoyed. However, there were a few grammer errors and I found some of the details in the story to be pointless. Keep writing though, I can see you have talent.
LastChapter said...
Jul. 11, 2010 at 10:06 am
you said this was your first thriller? well, you can't stop now! i liked it, good job, a little ick-ish at parts, but nothing a good editing can't fix ;)
Cuore said...
Apr. 14, 2010 at 5:45 pm
This is really good. It reminds me of the song 'Tyler' by The Toadies. You should listen to that song.
SweetRoses replied...
Apr. 15, 2010 at 3:22 pm
I have. The Toadies came from my city! Love em'.
Cuore replied...
Apr. 15, 2010 at 8:20 pm
Cool! The Toadies are awesome :) especially their song Possum Kingdom.
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