Steel

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Perhaps a story of courage, as a story provides a pleasant outlet for otherwise uncomfortable language.




Worn down pavement, fading grey with use, fronts an indistinct wall of houses, battered by listless care, dulled by age, no house the same but all one. Empty ghosts, people once upon a lifetime ago, step into the grey wall, merging and vanishing, or step away, becoming faceless pieces of a whole. However, one house, darker and crooked and bent, as if crouching, hunching its back from an unseen light, ugly and menacing, differed. Cries, of pain and fear and Despair, spew from the squatting building, like diseased blood from a dying corpse. Shapeless ghosts turn ever so slightly, common reactions to commonly occurring actions.

Alas, a disturbance rips the ugly monument from the weary wall, as a wraithlike woman, hurting and scared and scarred and Hopeless, tumbles under the hungry glare of the menacing structure. Leaning over, a wicked glee flashing from window eyes, the dark statue crookedly smiles as a man appears. Equally Hopeless, but full of anger from pain and fear and the faded soul he can’t face staring back at him relentlessly day after day after day after day, crushing and squeezing and smothering life till anger, at failures and regrets, and self-loathing fuels a fury towering and towering and towering like the hungry creature framing his back as he stands in the doorway.

Pulsing, pulsing, pulsing, the fury beats with each step down the stairs, pain and fear and loathing and Despair swirling until black Hate roars like a flood, shattering his faded soul, seeping through his mind and creating a desperate animal, lashing blindly at all near. The man snarls, the woman sobs, the gargoyle darkens in anticipation and a child appears, pain and fear flickering in his eyes as he holds a tool of desperation, a final solution. The man, black with hate, the woman, white with fear, both oblivious as the child steps, steps, and stops. Turning, his eyes flash and shine forth, pain and fear still lurking, yet revealing a brilliant, glowing red light smoldering deep inside. The gargoyle creaks and groans, recoiling as if struck by a never-seen light. Stepping forward, the child strikes calmly, ending the panic and Despair. Reeling, black beating Hatred disrupted, the man’s fury returns, and spinning, he releases his own Desperation upon the child while the woman whimpers in terror.

Finishing, the man drags the woman to their self-made cage, leaving the child lying alone at the bottom of the steps. Fluttering open, the child’s eyes fill with brilliant red flames, as if tempering a glowing metal. Unafraid, his eye’s close again and the child breathes out……





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TheSilverLaurel said...
May 15, 2011 at 11:31 am
This is amazing! i love the repetition and the rythem. you need to write more :)
 
soccercrazy said...
Dec. 26, 2009 at 9:32 pm
i was so confused the entire time. at first i thought you were talking about a haunted house. then ghosts. then a family. then a family of ghosts. then a family of three, the father a ghost, the mom dying, and the child dead. i have no idea what to believe or think.
 
mcasario said...
Oct. 29, 2009 at 7:25 pm
Well done, this story uses a lot of details to describe everything that is going on. You used a lot of imagery in the text such as, “Worn down pavement, fading grey with use, fronts an in distinct wall of houses, battered by listless care, dulled by age, no house the same but all one.” I like how you described the house by stating, “However, one house, darker and crooked and bent, as if crouching, hunching its back from an unseen light, ugly and menacing, differed.” You... (more »)
 
ami<3 said...
Oct. 14, 2009 at 8:50 pm
i really liked how you described the detail...very good!!!!!!!
 
TSherman replied...
Oct. 16, 2009 at 10:09 pm
Thanks, I decided to just use imagery to convey my meaning in this story
 
Maigz.xx replied...
Oct. 22, 2009 at 2:11 am
really liked it :) well done
 
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