Gothic introductory Paragraph- no name

September 22, 2009
By love_music_life BRONZE, San Francisco, California
love_music_life BRONZE, San Francisco, California
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I hobbled the fastest I could around the corner, my heart lurching. As I dove through the garbage bags and abandoned furniture by everyone but the mice, I heard the quickly increasing sound of the squeal of tires, a shouting voice, and a barking dog. I strained my ears harder. “You can’t hide from me!” I buried myself deeper under the black garbage sacks, filled with the rejects that nobody wanted or loved. I sure fit in perfectly here, I thought wryly, as something extremely sharp dug into my back through one of the many holes in my t-shirt. I squeezed my eyes shut, it was all I could keep to do from crying in pain. I felt the blood dripping down my back, the drip drop of a faucet that’s handle has long since been broken. I knew this game had went on long enough, every waking moment spent hiding. Hiding from my husband, hiding from my concerned family, hiding from myself. When I opened my eyes, I saw the shadow and heard the heavy footsteps in the entrance of the alley. “I know you’re in here!” He shouted. “Come out, come out wherever you are!” As I heard his deliberate stomp down the alley, I instinctively shrunk into a tighter ball, of course causing the bags to rustle. “Hey!” He shouted. He whirled around, flashing his powerful flashlight in my eyes, and saw the glint of evil that I had come to know in both his dark, drunk, dull eyes but also in his demonic smile. “I’m gonna’ count to ten and if you ain’t out yet I’ll come after you,” his sinister leer only growing bigger and bigger. “One, two….” I quickly felt for the sharp point that I had scraped my back on, grabbing it quickly as the pain exploded in my hand. “Five, six….” I stood up, wincing at the pain in my ankle as well as my back and hand. “Eight, nine….” When he started to turn around, I lunged.


The author's comments:
In English class, we were supposed to write a gothic fiction introductory paragraph to a story we will be writing later. I love just the first paragraph. it's a story all it's own!

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This article has 14 comments.


on Sep. 30 2013 at 11:26 am
your a know it all but your right about that

on Jun. 5 2011 at 3:41 pm
jropaqwertbvcw, Carthage, Tennessee
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
pique, not peak.

on Apr. 26 2011 at 11:47 am
IncorrectlyWired GOLD, Milford, Virginia
16 articles 0 photos 57 comments

Favorite Quote:
"No great genius has ever existed without some touch of madness." - Aristotle

I agree that even though there was no definite resolution, it felt finished. It drops you into the middle of it and ends before the conflict is resolved, but it gives you just enough to peak you interest and to avoid confusion.

madm0e BRONZE said...
on Nov. 19 2010 at 10:03 am
madm0e BRONZE, Tucson, Arizona
4 articles 0 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
People say I have no heart, that is not true, I have the heart of a small child. It's in a jar on my desk. -Stephen King

Good start. It sounds like a story itself. Maybe you could add on...like X amount of years later...

on May. 27 2010 at 8:35 am
Alvar-Knight SILVER, Harlingen, Texas
7 articles 5 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
what is said flies,
what is written never dies.

i love the story you should write more i felt as if i was the person on the story.-.-

on Feb. 2 2010 at 7:55 pm
Forever-darkness BRONZE, Hartford, Arkansas
4 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I trust everyone. I just don't trust the devil inside them."
Troy Kennedy-Martin

Please write more on this story and I would very much appreciate it if you could find some time out to read my short story, to hear your thoughts on mine. Thank You. Love the story!

tgir85 GOLD said...
on Oct. 21 2009 at 5:29 pm
tgir85 GOLD, Katy, Texas
13 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I only put you through that test to see if you would keep the faith or give up..."

yes.please write more i think its simply delicious!!! meaning= totally wicked cool

on Oct. 8 2009 at 1:54 pm
yumichris BRONZE, West Palm Beach, Florida
1 article 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else.
Will Rogers (1879 - 1935), Illiterate Digest (1924)

omg= not a word

Annika GOLD said...
on Oct. 7 2009 at 1:20 pm
Annika GOLD, SIOUX FALLS, South Dakota
16 articles 0 photos 24 comments
you mispelled three words. intence=intense

awasome=awesome

discriptive=descriptive

Annika GOLD said...
on Oct. 7 2009 at 1:19 pm
Annika GOLD, SIOUX FALLS, South Dakota
16 articles 0 photos 24 comments
omg that was so cool!!! can you please continue? ill be your loyal follower!

khulse said...
on Sep. 29 2009 at 2:18 pm
it was good and we want to know more about it. we also want to know who the antigonist is

on Sep. 29 2009 at 1:29 pm
that was totaly intence and awasome. What I liked was that is was discriptive. You should continue this story!

on Sep. 28 2009 at 8:34 pm
KiraKira PLATINUM, Cardiff By The Sea, California
35 articles 0 photos 217 comments

Favorite Quote:
Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and above all, pity those who live without love -Albus Dumbledore

Who is he, this mysterious antagonist? It's good, but could you do a bit more? Please?

LaylaViolet said...
on Sep. 25 2009 at 4:37 pm
Hey, hey! It was just getting better! Please continue; that was totally insane. You're "gothically" good. Keep writing. It's some good *spit* :D


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