Am i human

August 1, 2009
By ashleyt PLATINUM, Midland, Texas
ashleyt PLATINUM, Midland, Texas
22 articles 65 photos 53 comments

The hair on my neck stood tall as i fell a sleep. Visions of everything i could imagine have gone through my head but none like the one that awaits this dark rainy night. I tossed and turned until i found a perfect position, On my side with the blanket up to my shoulders, and my pillow folded in two.

I turned off my small tv and layed the remote on the amall stool next to the bed. I cleared my throat then closed my eyes. I took a deep breath then fell into a light sleep then to a heavy full sleep.

In my dreams i felt a rush of happiness then a crazy rush of romances then comedies then to sad stories. Lastly i fely a rush of the same dream i seem to have each night, I'm walking in my back yard then i simply jump into my bed then i usually awake to morning.

This time i did awake but not to this world. I awoke to a darkness so unusual. The darkness was cold yet warm and i felt wet. I heard what sounded like children whispering and laughing in a distance. It felt as if my neck hair stood three feet tall instead of my usual half a centimeter. I walked without moving and i cried without making my eyes wet and making my nose drip.

I swallowed deeply then attempted to scream but failed to do so. I heard foot steps that sounded so close i felt as i they were mine. I reached out into the harsh weather and felt a hand it grabbed mine and that's when I awoke. When i looked down my hand was still being held but it wasn't human......


The author's comments:
I hope it didn't really scare anybody if you have any questions just comment me.

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This article has 22 comments.


JonGrundl96 said...
on Feb. 6 2012 at 11:20 am
JonGrundl96, Waukesha, Wisconsin
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Besides a few capitalization and spelling errors it was a very good piece. I'd love to see it turned into a full story as there are many ways you could take this and I'd love to know what route you'd take. One suggestion, I'd work on transitions so the story has a better flow to it rather than abrupt changes.

on Jan. 15 2012 at 6:39 pm
musicgirl1998 GOLD, Littleton, Colorado
14 articles 12 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
You don't get harmony when everybody sings the same note.

Holy goodness my heart skipped a beat when I read that last phrase! I didn't know it was there until i scrolled down for the last time! Good job! Do you think you could look at some of my work?

on Jan. 15 2012 at 1:37 pm
Free_One PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 773 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I am not invincible or unstoppable, but I stay strong because it is the only way to survive in this world."

WOW! this was great! Now I really want more! Do you think you could check out some of my work? Thanks! and keep writing! :)(:

jovanys said...
on Sep. 26 2011 at 6:34 pm
I like this piece. Keep up the good work and write more! I especially liked the first paragraph because i feel the same exact way. Work hard and make more of these!!

on Oct. 27 2010 at 10:48 am
vampiresrock GOLD, Cornish, New Hampshire
12 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you oranges, make grape juice and sit back and let the world wounder how the hell you just did that.

keep it going...keep it going! Kudos to you!

on Oct. 5 2010 at 9:54 pm
ashleyt PLATINUM, Midland, Texas
22 articles 65 photos 53 comments
Thank you so much...:)

on Oct. 5 2010 at 9:54 pm
ashleyt PLATINUM, Midland, Texas
22 articles 65 photos 53 comments
Thank you...and will do!

on Aug. 3 2010 at 1:00 pm
KourtneyBriann BRONZE, Niles, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 90 comments
Myserious and cool. Well writen and would love to have some feedback from anyone on my work. Thanx!!!

liljrp said...
on Aug. 3 2010 at 8:18 am
That was well written :) its kinda mysterious at the end. I wonder what it is?

on Aug. 2 2010 at 9:46 pm
ashleyt PLATINUM, Midland, Texas
22 articles 65 photos 53 comments
thank you!!!!!

on Aug. 2 2010 at 9:45 pm
ashleyt PLATINUM, Midland, Texas
22 articles 65 photos 53 comments
thanks!!!! will work on that i was in quite a rush that day lol

on Aug. 2 2010 at 9:44 pm
ashleyt PLATINUM, Midland, Texas
22 articles 65 photos 53 comments
aww thank you very much

on Oct. 31 2009 at 3:17 pm
ashleyt PLATINUM, Midland, Texas
22 articles 65 photos 53 comments
thanks ill be sure to take a look at any work you complete and im such a dork i cmade a lot of erros :)

on Oct. 30 2009 at 6:06 pm
robinsonc BRONZE, Claridge, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
E=mc2





























A penny earned is a penny saved

I read many stories on this website and yours was by far the best. This piece was suspensful and thrilling. The story had a couple errors though. I think you should capitalize the word "I" and also you should put commas when you have a list such as when you put "I felt a rush of happiness then a crazy rush of romances..." and so on. Other than those few errors your story was well planned and thought out. I also liked the piece because I can relate to it. I can relate by things such as when you said "On one side with the blankets up to my shoulders, and my pillow folded in two." Me too do those things and I also toss and turn. The story was well written and I think you should and could write another piece to explain the hand not human and go into deeper detail. I did feel like that was me lying in bed wondering what kind of dream that was. I rate this story five stars.

story_lover said...
on Sep. 30 2009 at 5:36 pm
wow u r a great writer! i loved it

heimana said...
on Sep. 23 2009 at 6:58 pm
This piece of writing was extremely suspenseful towards the end. I loved the sentence, "When I looked down my hand was still being held but it wasn't human." That put chills down my spine. When you revise you might want to capitalize the "I"s and watch the spelling to make the writing look more professional like in the sentence, "Lastly i fely a rush ... " Finally, you might want to add more details on the dreams, but over-all great story!

kiernan said...
on Sep. 23 2009 at 11:02 am
wow... this was crazy good and i reallly liked the suspence at the end...

goooood job

courtney33 said...
on Sep. 15 2009 at 7:14 pm
courtney33, Spring, Texas
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
that was very good

on Sep. 15 2009 at 4:58 pm
these dreams werent real but i really like the idea of dreaming and stories being put into one.

on Sep. 15 2009 at 4:42 pm
well i would try to convince myself that i could act and dont tell urself you dont know how to act just believe that you can. Also try to make the play become real, think if that was really happening to you what or how would you act?




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