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Just Hangry, Not Angry

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Cast of Characters:
JANE: 23. Clean but worn jeans, old crewneck sweatshirt, fuzzy socks.
LOISE: 25. Old work slacks, blazer, off-white button up, overcoat, designer tote bag, disheveled but nicely cut hair.


SETTING: A small loft apartment in late January, Manhattan street noises outside. SR there is a 6-foot tall window that stretches across the entire wall. SL there is the loft with the front door beneath it. The bottom floor is a living room and kitchen, with a door to the bathroom. The living room contains a small mid-century couch, a mid-sized box TV, and a desk by the window. The kitchen contains a small square table for four, one counter with a sink, and the usual cheap kitchenware. The bathroom is essentially a converted closet. The loft floor is a bedroom with a queen-sized bed, two dressers, and a desk.


(At rise, it is 5:30pm. JANE is lounging on the couch channel surfing picking from an almost empty bowl of chips. There is an incessant noise at the door for 30 seconds: a key in a lock.)


LOISE
(Enters SL slamming door behind her.)
I thought you were going to call the locksmith today.


JANE
(Chewing.)
I did.


LOISE
(Hanging up her coat.)
Then why does it still take me five minutes to open the door?

 


JANE
(Still channel surfing.)
He was busy. Said he had three other people who called before me.


LOISE
(Putting more of her things away.)
Well when did you call?


JANE
Around 1:30.


LOISE
(Sighs.)
You couldn’t have called earlier? I don’t know, maybe four hours earlier when they actually open?


JANE
I was working all morning.


LOISE
(Scoffs.)
It takes ten minutes to call the locksmith.
(Goes to kitchen.)
And besides, you’re working from home. It’s not like you have deadlines.
(Opens fridge.)
Where’s the pasta I made yesterday?


JANE
Actually, I do. You know that.

 


LOISE
(Pushing things in fridge around.)
I was saving the rest of that pasta for today.


JANE
(Sits up.)
I needed something to eat for lunch. I didn’t have time to make myself a sandwich or anything, so I ate what’s in the fridge.


LOISE
(Shutting fridge door.)
Well what the hell am I supposed to eat for dinner then?


JANE
(Grabbing laptop off floor.)
I’ll order you something, what do you want?


LOUISE
(Walks over to pantry, opens, and shuffles through. Sighs. Moves away and continues to look through stuff in kitchen.)


JANE
You know I had to finish the Orchid piece today for Mrs. Smythe. If I waited to do it I wouldn’t have done it at all and we’d be short on this month’s rent.


LOISE
I have a meeting in an hour, I won’t have time to wait for you to order food. I’ll just, I don’t know…
(Opens fridge.)
I’ll just eat some yogurt or something for now and get something on the way back. I wish you had just told me there was no food in the house so I wouldn’t have to come all the way home first. I could have just stayed out with Pam.


JANE
(Stops typing.)
Hey, look… I’m sorry, I should have told you I ate your pasta. I just didn’t think it was that important to mention it at the time.


LOISE
Of course you didn’t. ‘Cause I definitely didn’t mention that I have a meeting at exactly 6:30 today that I’ve been stressing about for weeks. Totally… wasn’t important.
(Shuts fridge with yogurt cup in hand. Goes back to desk and begins putting stuff back in bag.)
I’ve been at the office since 6:30am and you seriously didn’t stop to think that I might be exhausted and need something to eat in the short break I get to go home? Just because I’m not constantly in contact with you doesn’t mean I suddenly don’t exist.


JANE
(Gets off couch and walks over to LOISE.)
I know, babe. Just because I’m not texting you doesn’t mean I don’t think about you.
(Pause.)
I’ve just been super busy today with the Orchid project. Mrs. Smythe’s been up my ass about getting it to her by tonight because she’s got some party or something. I’m sorry, I should’ve let you know.
(Puts hand on LOISE's shoulder.)


LOISE
(Stays still.)


JANE
Can I order you something while you’re gone so they’ll be food when you get back? Or, wait! I could go shopping. I’ll go grab a few things and make us a sit-down dinner. How does that sound?


LOISE
You couldn’t have woken up an hour earlier to make the call?
JANE
What?


LOISE
The lock.


JANE
(Sighing.)
Babe, I said I’m sorry. I was being dumb and I didn’t do what I said I would. I should’ve done it earlier. But it’s one simple mistake, I can call tomorrow morning. I don’t know what else you want me to say.


LOISE
Nevermind.
(Brushes past JANE to front door.)


JANE
Babe! It’s just a lock. I’m sorry I forgot and I’m sorry I ate your food. Do you want me to make you food or not? I’m trying to make up for it. Let me make up for it!


LOISE
(Pauses and looks at JANE. Puts shoes down and walks over to JANE.)
I’m sorry…


JANE
Don’t be sorry. Just answer my question.


LOISE
(Sighs and walks back to door to put on shoes.)

 


JANE
What? So if you’re pissed it’s fine and normal, but if I’m pissed I’m the asshole? How is that fair? Every time you get angry and yell at me, I’m not allowed to retaliate without being the villain in the situation.
(Pause.)
I mean… Jesus Christ, Babe. You’re always talking about how we need to communicate more and how it’s healthy to argue, but as soon as I open my mouth it’s as if you think I’m attacking you.


LOISE
(Calmly.)
I never said you’re attacking me.


JANE
That’s not the point.
Look, I’m fine if you have a problem with something, just don’t shut down as soon as I respond, that’s not fair.


LOISE
(Silence.)
(Puts on shoes and coat.)


JANE
Do you want me to make you dinner or not?


LOISE
(Silent facing door with hand on handle.)


JANE
Babe?
(Silence.)
Babe!


LOISE
(Opens door and leaves, shutting door quietly behind her.)


JANE
(Sighs. Goes back to couch and lies down, channel surfing.)


(Lights down.)
 




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