When You See Your Crush At The Store

August 6, 2016

Our scene begins with you casually walking the halls of the local grocery store around 9 pm with a basket in hand. It’s Friday night, and you have absolutely no plans because for some reason you don’t socialize with people at school, or on the bus, or in your neighborhood, or anywhere else even though you desperately need to because you have NO FRIENDS. Even your imaginary boyfriend left you! Seriously, dude, the creep across the street has more people to hang out with than you.


Internal You: I’ve done this pretty much every Friday this summer, I have no job, and the rate of my allowance is dependent on how broke my parents are that week, how have I not run out of money? *picks up box and looks at price* Because I never buy overpriced items like that. This country is going through some serious inflation.


Suddenly you spot the boy you’ve had a crush on for like EVER across the store with two of his buddies. He doesn’t notice you, he never does. Well, what do you expect? He doesn’t even know you. But you know him. Actually, no you don’t, you saw him in the cafeteria and immediately developed a crush for him because he’s kinda cute. That’s an understatement, he’s really hot. Like, Michael B. Jordan meets Theo James hot. But he still doesn’t know you!


Internal You: *screams* What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? *stops hyperventilating so you can come up with a plan* Okay… I should run! Run as fast and as far away as I possibly can before he sees me here without any friends. Because if he does see me here all alone he’s gonna know that I’m a total nerd! *nods to self* Wait! I could use this opportunity to show him how independent I am. I’m a lifeless nerd in real life, but if I play this just right he’ll think that I didn’t make plans because I don’t need them! I just have to act like I’m above everyone in this room. I have to be completely confident! This is gonna be so easy.


You: *takes one last deep breath as you stare down the route to the self checkout* (you decided that self checkout would really express the fact that you rely on yourself, and that’s it!) *holds head high* *walks like the girls on the runway during Paris Fashion Week* *flips hair* *looks over shoulder to make sure your crush saw that* *and finally, checks out groceries*


So after all that, you finally make it back to your car.


You: *puts groceries in the trunk* *opens door to car, and gets in* *takes huge sigh of relief* *looks down at lap*


Internal You: Please tell me I was NOT wearing my pajamas this entire time.

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