You: Gosh Darn It! Who do you think you are? *picks up phone*
You: *makes pterodactyl noises* Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. *smiles like an idiot* He texted me 1st. He did that. Not me. It was him. He’s probably got a bunch of things to do, but he texted me! I’m like a priority to him. No! I’m above his priorities! I’m like oxygen to him! I am literally the air he breathes. *Texts Best Friend*
Best Friend: OMG OMG OMG! He’s so into you!
You to best friend: What do I say?
Best Friend: *comes up with epic plan to text this man that is definitely just trying to say Hi*
You: *types rapidly* *deletes what’s typed* *retypes rapidly* *repeats multiple times*
*Finally decides that “hi” is the best phrase to fit the guidelines your best friend has laid out for you* *presses send button* *feels relief*
(1 Minute Later)
You: WHY WON’T HE TEXT ME?????? Am I not good enough for him? What’s his deal?? It was probably the “hi”…… Only idiots use “hi”. God! You are such an idiot! Of course he’s not into you, have you seen you? ………..*Silence* ……… You know what? He doesn’t deserve me. I’m flipping awesome! I could have anyone I want! Screw him. I’m a beautiful, strong, independent, powerful-
You: *Gasps* *Trips over self while trying to get to the phone*
You: *whispers* he loves me…..