On stage

A desk and chair with a box (the button) on right. Two chairs on left.

ON RISE John and Mark are sitting on the two chairs.

John
You know, I’ve worked here for a long time and I’ve always wanted to press that button in the main office

Mark
Button? What button?

John
You know, the button in the main office on our bosses desk. The one that says “Warning, do not press”? How haven’t you seen it?

Mark
Well, Jamie never really called me into her office. When I got hired I don’t think it was there

John
Mark come on, are you kidding? You must be blind! The button is at least 5 inches wide and firetruck red! Does it really not ring a bell?

Mark
Nope. Not a clue.

Short silence

Mark
Why do you want to press it if it says “DO NOT PRESS?”

John
If I say don’t think about whales what do you do

Mark
Think about whales...

John
So if you see a button that says “DO NOT PRESS” What do you want to do?

Mark
Press it...Okay fair but still you have no idea what it could do! For all you know, for who knows what reason, Jamie is in possession of a button that will launch a nuke at Russia.

John
If that were the case she wouldn’t have it in the middle of her desk, now would she

Mark
That’s besides the point!!!

John
I’m gunna press it. Today.

Mark
John please no don’t do this. Think about it. You could get fired over this

John
I hate this job anyways

John gets up and walks to the desk, looking at the box.
Mark hesitates, but follows.

Mark
Wow, how on Earth DID I miss this?

John
That's what I said!

Short silence, both of them just staring at the box

Mark
You are really going to do this?

John
Yep.

John moves his hand onto the box, but he doesn’t press it

John
Well, here goes.

John presses the box

Box
I TOLD YOU NOT TO PRESS IT I TOLD YOU NOT TO PRESS IT I TOLD YOU NOT TO PRESS IT I TOLD YOU NOT TO PRESS IT ...........
The box repeats it over and over, ear piercingly loud. John and mark run back to where they were seated before.

Enter Jamie on right

Jamie - yelling at audience
WHO PRESSED IT? WHICH ONE OF YOU PRESSED IT? HUH?