Flying Purple Giraffe looked into the table’s eyes, her own filled with passion.  “I’m here to help you,” she started, “but first you must admit you have a problem.”

“A problem? I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about,” the table replied.
Flying Purple Giraffe insisted, “You know what I’m talking about, you know exactly what I’m talking about!” she briefly paused, before angrily continuing, “You never watch the news, you haven’t the slightest idea of what’s happening in the world!”

The table was quick to respond, “Is that it? You don’t think I watch the news enough? That’s my problem? I don’t think that’s much of a problem.”

Flying Purple Giraffe gasped before hastily retaliating, “Not a problem? How are you supposed to know what’s happening? I bet you don’t even know what global warming is!” Giraffe shuddered at the thought of her last statement.

“Global warming?” the table questioned, “What’s that?” This did not go over well with Giraffe.
“You don’t know what global warming is?” Giraffe exclaimed, “Well now I know where to start.”

“Weren’t you on your way to work?” the table quizzed.

“My shift doesn’t start ‘till six ‘o clock. It’s only four twenty four right now. I have plenty of time to teach you,” Giraffe answered smugly. 

“Oh, isn’t that just lovely?” the table muttered under his breath. 

     “Well, global warming is important, and if anyone must teach you, it should probably be me.” Flying Purple Giraffe cocked her head a bit on the last word, like a chicken studying its surroundings. At this point the table had stopped paying attention, and was glancing alarmingly at his watch.

“Oh! I probably should be going right now!” the table shouted before beginning to run off.
“Do you think I’m going to fall for that? You told me your shift doesn’t start ‘till five thirty! It’s only four twenty five!” Giraffe screamed at him.

“What on earth are you talking about?” the table hollered back. His eyes grew wide as he realized something. “Giraffe, did you remember to move your watch ahead?” he asked.

“Wait, did that happen yesterday?” Giraffe slurred, suddenly worried.

“It did! It’s five twenty five right now! My shift starts in five minutes!

I’m going to clock in late because of you, you idiot!” the table spat. He then promptly took his leave.
“If it’s five twenty five right now, then that gives me thirty five minutes to get to work, yes, I should probably be on my way as well,” Giraffe mumbled before running off, like a mouse who had just spotted a hungry cat.

                                        THE END (?)