Techno Rehab

Girls 2, 3, 4: *stare at cell phones and look ultra-absorbed*

 

Girl 1: Hey, guys don’t you think we should be rehearsing our lines?

 

*Girls continue to stare at cell phones*

 

Girl 1: Umm… Did you hear me??

 

Girls 2 and 3: Girl 2 approaches Girl 3 and they laugh at a picture on their cell phone.

 

Girl 3: Oh my Gosh, I just got like 600 hundred followers on Instagram, ahhhh!!!

 

Girls 2: EEEK, like, that’s amazing!!! Who was the lucky follower?? *says in sultry voice like it’s some hot guy that followed her or something*

 

Girl 3: Ummm….I don’t know… like….some ten year old with…like…. An UBER obsession with SpongeBob! *Shrugs her shoulders like she was expecting more but she doesn’t really care*

 

Girls 1 and 4: *Look at her weird*

Girl 3: Hey if it’s some SpongeBob loving kiddo, I’ll take what I can get.   

 

Girl 1: Yeah and I got some Hello Kitty loving Chica last week. Okay, now let’s nail those lines ladies. Girl 4: Hey guys, let’s take like…a group SELFIE!!!

 

Girls 2 and 3: Oh Em Gee, DUCK FACES!!!

 

Girl 4: *Pulls Girl 1 in, into the selfie, Girl 1 looks taken aback*

 

Girls 2, 3, and 4: *Do multiple faces, Girl 1 sort of tries to blend in.*

 

Girl 2: Looking at selfie says to Girl 1: Hey, like, you DESTROYED, like, our selfies with your Pug-ish frown!

 

Girl 1: Sorry that my frown is so *does disgusting face* but I just really want to kick butt in our scene and to do that, we need to know our lines as cold as Antarctica ice. I know that this whole theater thing is brand spanking new to all of us but that doesn’t mean that it has to be….

 

Girl 2: *Suddenly Screams In Horrified Tone* NOOOOO!!!!

 

Girls 3 and 4: Oh my Gosh, like, what’s wrong!?!?!

 

Girl 2: Donnie, like, broke up with me!! In, like, a text message *Collapses to the ground dramatically, buries head in face to cry*!!

 

Girl 3: A text message!! Oh no he didn’t!

 

 

Girl 4: Some nerve! You’re better off without him!! His smile creeps me out! It’s like…more crooked than my Great Aunt Bessie’s. And like, the name, Donnie, c’mon, he could be a TV Land Character!!

 

Girl 2: I like miss like his asymmetrical smile like already, wahhh!!!

 

Girl 3: You totes like deserve better!

 

Girl 1: I agree, you absolutely do, but maybe you can get your mind off this by focusing on being a fantabulous Rizzo!  

 

All of the girls look at her with disgust

 

Girl 1: FINE!!!! I’ll rehearse this myself! At least I’ll know my lines! *Girls 3 and 4 comfort her*

 

Girl 4: I hope he dies alone shriveled up like a wrinkly shirt that is incapable of being ironed….in fact he already kind of does look like one  *laughs obnoxiously*….what did the dufus say? 

 

Girl 3: Amber! Like, you really had to ask that why she was like…sobbing?

 

Girl 2: No, no, it’s alright. Ummm….it said…..Hey, I tried talking to you the past two days but you’ve been too self-absorbed to even notice me. You were wicked cool before you got your stupid Iphone something s privileges back or whatever.  But since then, I’ve been feeling like you and Seri are on a date and that I’m the third wheel. I might not mind as much if there was an actual person, but this is too much!!  When you stop being so addicted to your stupid cell phone and overwhelming the nation with your boat loads of selfies, then maybe we can talk. But for now, buh-bye! *is chokey as she’s reading this, starts crying loudly towards the end*

 

Girl 3: Like WHAT???? WOW HE’S WAY OUT OF LINE!!!

 

Girl 4:  WHAT A HYPOCRITE, BREAKING UP WITH YOU IN LIKE A TEXT MESSAGE!!

 

Girl 2: He’s like right though!! I like have an actual….UH *pauses for a second* DICTION? *says this with a horrific recognition in her voice*

 

Girl 1: Storms over, “yeah, yeah, yeah….we all get it…you need TECHNO REHAB! Guys, I’m not in a one women show, this requires team effort and support! Now can you all put this Selfie/Donnie/Seri thing beside or whatever this *makes the motion of shoving it in their face* is and HELP ME!

 

Girl 4: Listen yawn-fest!! We need to hug our Kaley now, so take like this old Iphone I have, *slams it into the palm of her hand*, the Lord knows you need it, and SHUT UP!!! Girl 1 looks disgusted, Girls 3 and 4 are still comforting Girl 2.






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