Blueberry Pancakes

March 31, 2014
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A dramatic monologue about an unnamed woman recounting her husband’s death:

Woman: The day my husband died, my entire world changed. I couldn’t eat, sleep, talk- barely could even think. I felt paralyzed and abandoned. It happened so suddenly that at first I couldn’t believe that he was really gone. This was the father of my kids, the love of my life…I…I… (She begins to sob a little and then controls herself.) I still remember that horrible day. It was such a beautiful day outside; it was the first day of spring and the last time Louisiana would have to feel the chill of the cold for months. But to me, I was freezing. My heart was cold and bare the day he left this world. It was as if when he left my life, he took the warmth of my heart with him. (She stops and takes a breath, as if reliving that particular moment) it was his off day- he was a child psychologist. We were going to spend the day together. The kids were at school and I was a stay at home mom so it wasn’t like I had a job to go to. I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth when his phone rang. One of his patients was in a crisis and so he had to go. I let him. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t be selfish. His job was to love and help children and I couldn’t intervene with that, you know? Always the loving husband, he kissed me sweetly and stared at me with those big, brown eyes I had always been in love with. “Don’t worry, honey, I’ll be back before you can say blueberry pancakes.” When he said that, it made me laugh. It was the last time I Laughed for a long time. (She pauses) When an hour passed and I didn’t hear from him, I became worried. One hour turned to two and two hours to four and still no call from him. That was when I began to say blueberry pancakes. I was desperate. I don’t know why I didn’t call or text him but he said he’d be back before I could say blueberry pancakes and I needed a miracle. I said blueberry pancakes fifty-seven times before the phone rang. (Her voice breaks.) The woman from the E.R said he had been involved in a wreck with a drunk driver. I didn’t know how to respond. I was in shock… denial. I would sit in the living room and wait for him to come through that door but he never did. “I’ll be back before you can say blueberry pancakes.” (Painful laugh) I said blueberry pancakes fifty-seven times and he still didn’t return. (sudden sadness) I don’t eat blueberry pancakes anymore.

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