Clouds in my Head

October 18, 2012
By Davidson SILVER, Littleton, Colorado
Davidson SILVER, Littleton, Colorado
5 articles 0 photos 4 comments

One of the things I like to do is go on my roof and look at the clouds. I always thought of them as the thoughts of the sky or something like that, because you can't touch them. Maybe that's because my thoughts feel like clouds sometimes, fluffy and white and slow, like the sky is in my mind and my mind is in the sky. The sky of my mind. You know the sky is so big that if you close your eyes and think of it, you won't be able to think of anything else until you stop. It's like it's magic.
(pause)
Except it's not. When you get down to it, clouds are water. Not even water actually, just ice and vapor and dust that we give meaning and form to in the sky of our mind. You know they say that every drop of water in the world was or will be part of a cloud. Every drop of tears and sweat and blood that comes out of you will be a cloud. All the water in your body too, it goes up there sometime after you die. It might take a while though.

I think that may be why I like looking at clouds, they make me feel connected to people, which is something I think I'm not very good at otherwise. Almost like I'm among all the people in the world and we're happy just to be together. And then there's a gust of wind and the cloud is gone, like it was never there, like this not even real.
It is real though. I mean if you think about it, nothing lasts that long. Even something like my life or yours is gone in the blink of an eye, cosmically speaking. And while we're here we try so hard to make sure we can be seen and to be interesting enough that we are willing to let other people shape us into what they want us to be in the sky of their mind.


I think I'm gonna go sit on the roof


The author's comments:
This is a piece inspired by the work Katawa Shoujo. It is meant to be preformed as a monolouge

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This article has 12 comments.


on Oct. 13 2014 at 10:46 am
Anyuhhhh BRONZE, Las Vegas, Nevada
4 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's hard to beat someone who never gives up

I really liked this short story comparing the clouds to people and their thoughts. It really made me think. I liked how you used that comparison of the tears and sweat becoming a cloud and how they are related to people. Your work is very to the point and makes everyone second guess what they do. It was cool to take the time and relate to the clouds.

on Jan. 7 2013 at 6:31 am
In_Love_with_Writing GOLD, Easton, Pennsylvania
12 articles 0 photos 389 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13

Really nice job! I loved it! Can you comment and rate some of my work? I would appreciate it :)

on Nov. 11 2012 at 7:38 pm
Davidson SILVER, Littleton, Colorado
5 articles 0 photos 4 comments
I don't mind at all man, just give credit where credit is due

on Nov. 4 2012 at 8:14 pm
ImeldaBlackheart BRONZE, Edmond, Oklahoma
3 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don't write, because our culture has no use for it. - Anais Nin

This was great! I'm usually not so great at monolouges, but I said this outloud and I got a few comments from my friends like, "Wow, what novel are you reading off of?" or, "Which person said that again?" This was so cool! I hope you don't mind if I use it sometime in the future :)

on Oct. 30 2012 at 12:17 pm
WhenItRains21 GOLD, Magnolia, Texas
12 articles 0 photos 54 comments
This was absolutely amazing! If I had to make any critques, it would be the last line. Maybe it's just me, but it seems a bit abrupt. I love the line itself, but it just doesn't seem to connect with the previous paragraph. Other than that though, I think it's wonderful!

on Oct. 28 2012 at 7:41 pm
MissInkslinger BRONZE, Lexington, Kentucky
4 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
I love argument, I love debate. I don't expect anyone just to sit there and agree with me, that's not their job. Margaret Thatcher

I really like this, especially the line "When you get down to it, clouds are water. Not even water actually, just ice and vapor and dust that we give meaning and form to in the sky of our mind." I've tried to write about clouds like this, but it's so difficult so I'm very impressed. It is also well-written, but I'm mainly in love with the message.

on Oct. 28 2012 at 8:59 am
Stella_Val_Illicia GOLD, Salt Lake City, Utah
13 articles 0 photos 248 comments

Favorite Quote:
"In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people angry and been widely regarded as a bad idea."
--Douglas Adams

No problem. Any in particular?

elites5 SILVER said...
on Oct. 28 2012 at 2:31 am
elites5 SILVER, Langley, Other
9 articles 0 photos 23 comments
I loved the comparison of clouds to people I makes you think. Can u check out some of my work? :)

on Oct. 27 2012 at 4:39 am
Snowflakes SILVER, Lichfield, Other
6 articles 0 photos 91 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are. - Alice In Wonderland

Wow! I absolutely love this! It is so creative, I've never thought of the idea of being a cloud before haha, it's amazing and will give me a completely different outlook everytime I look at the sky! 
I found your writing very deep and personal, which made it even better, so well done :D 

on Oct. 23 2012 at 5:30 pm
Stella_Val_Illicia GOLD, Salt Lake City, Utah
13 articles 0 photos 248 comments

Favorite Quote:
"In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people angry and been widely regarded as a bad idea."
--Douglas Adams

I love how you took the metaphor into greater depth, discussing the literal and figurative aspects of it. Great job!

on Oct. 23 2012 at 5:21 pm
sweetangel4life GOLD, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
19 articles 0 photos 85 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet". Romeo and Juliet ( Quote Act II, Sc. II).

"Let them eat cake."
Marie Antoinette

this is really well written. it made me sit and think as i was reading it. i can imgine a situation where thee love of some woman's life picks p a recorder and hits play to hear her voice say this. i can see the reordings as a spoen diary. i dont know that just me creating stories around plays. some background ifo. keep writing!!!

on Oct. 22 2012 at 8:34 pm
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

I loved how you commpared people and thoughts to clouds. I never really thought of them like that before. This was very new and refreshing. I like it ^_^




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