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Two Straws

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(Lights come on and the students are in a classroom, restless as Mr. Minus is trying to explain his lesson. Kendra and Katelynn will immediately raise their hand every time Mr. Minus paused. Kate and Annie are completely oblivious to everyone else and are putting on make-up and reading fashion magazines. Everyone else seems bored. Every now and then Joseph tries to look over at Veronica, and Veronica tries to look over at Joseph, but they alternate looking. They don't look at the same time, and the other doesn't seem to notice they're looking at them.)
-Mr. Minus: So, (pause) just subtract eight from both sides (pause) and you should get (Kendra and Katelynn both have their hands up. He looks around at everyone else, and then sighs) Kendra?
-Kendra: Twenty-three!
-Minus: No (looks at the board, then points) you forgot to divide. (Kendra frantically tries to fix her answer while Katelynn gets impatient until she finally gets called on) Katelynn?
-Katelynn: Twenty!
-Minus: That's..... Correct! (Katelynn does a happy dance and rubs it in to Kendra)
(The bell rings and the teacher walks offstage while the students move around to a different seat. Mr. Minus comes back as Mr. Porter in an English class)
-Porter: We have a project we're starting today. So come up to my desk and write who you would like to be in a group with and I will make the final decision. (Everyone but Veronica and Joseph stand up and crowd around his desk and write. Once they all sit down, Veronica quietly gets up and writes, then sits back down. Mr. Porter then picks up the list and looks at it as Joseph walks up. He pulls Joseph aside away from the class)
-Porter: Wow. I never knew you were this popular. (shows him the list)
-Joseph: (shows surprise) Me neither.
-Porter: Well, Kate, Alexis, Kendra and Jaz all picked you to work with them. So, I'll let you pick who you'll work with.
-Joseph: What about (looks over at Veronica, then back at Mr. Porter) Veronica?
(They both look at the list)
-Porter: She picked you too.
-Joseph: (looks at her again) I'll be with her.
-Porter: Alright.
(They both walk back to their seats. All four girls lean in and stare at him. He ignores them and stares at Veronica who's reading. Meanwhile, Mr. Porter is assigning groups. Then he stands up and walks over to the students)
-Porter: Alright. Here are the groups. (As each girl is dejected, she slumps back into her chair, disappointed, and their partner shows a little excitement) Kate and Annie, Alexis and Sharon, Jaz and May, Kendra and Katelynn and (Veronica looks up) Veronica and Joseph (both just smile to themselves.)
(Bell rings and lights go out.)
-Offstage: Later that day at lunch... (There are four tables with two at each table. Everyone's eating until it’s their turn to talk)
-Kate: Like, did you see what Mr. Porter did?
-Annie: (stares blankly) Uh....no?
--Kate: He, like, didn't put me with Joseph! And I, like, wanted to be with him!
-Annie: This is, like, totally uncool.
-Kate: He doesn't know what he's doing. (gasps like she has an idea) I know what I'll do! I found out he works at Burgertown! I'll go while he's, like, working, and then ask him on a date! That'll help him change his mind!
(pause)
-Sharon: So, you doing anything this weekend?
-Alexis: No. A concert, but why bother? No guys want to go with me.
-Sharon: What about Joseph from English?
-Alexis: (with an evil tone) Ooooh! I heard he works at Burgertown! I could go ask him there.
(pause)
-May: Did you see the game yesterday?
-Jaz: Yeah, but no one else I've talked to has. I wanna play some two-hand touch.
-May: Does Joseph play?
-Jaz: Seems like I've seen him play. He works at Burgertown. I'll see him there! I wonder if they have TVs...
(pause)
-Kendra: He needs the help! Why didn't he get into a group with me?
-Katelynn: Maybe he wants a break? You have been tutoring him... (Quieter) or was that someone else? ...
-Kendra: And study with HER?!?! She doesn't even have the highest grade in the class! She has a B! A B!
-Katelynn: (calming her down) Kendra, Kendra. (she calms down) You do know you could just go to Burgertown? He works there, ya know. I've seen him.
-Kendra: He does, doesn't he? I'll go offer help later.
(Slight pause. Then Joseph walks across the stage with a lunch tray in his hands and the four girls stare at him as he passes. He exits. Then Veronica walks across the stage with her lunch and the four girls give her an evil look. She ignores them and smiles. Lights go out.)
-Offstage: Later that day....
(Lights come on. A waist high counter covers part of the stage. Off to one side, a few tables and chairs occupy the rest. A few of the tables are next to a window reading "Burger Town". A pair of cash registers sits beneath a pair of signs reading "Order Here". A young man stands behind one of the registers looking bored. Even in his bright orange and yellow uniform, it's obvious that he is somewhat good looking. His paper hat continually slides down over his eyes as he nods off.)
(The door jingles and a young woman bounces in. Her cheerleading uniform and pigtails bounce with her. She notices the young man and pauses to look into a handheld mirrow and fix her makeup. Then she stashes the mirror and skips to the counter.)
-Kate: (flirting) Hi, Joseph.
(Joseph, who had been dozing, jerks to attention. He searches the room for a second, disoriented, and then notices Kate and sags.)
-Joseph: (disappointed) Hello Kate. Welcome to Burger Town. How can I help you?
-Kate: I came to get a shake. Chocolate, with two straws please.
-Joseph: Oh, is someone joining you?
-Kate: Depends on when your break is.
-Joseph: (suddenly understanding) Oh! Uhh... all our ice cream has melted.
-Kate: (dejected) What?!
-Joseph: (obviously lying) Yep, freezer broke. (Door jingles. Enter Alexis dressed in gothic style.)Terrible, terrible tragedy.
-Alexis: (bored) I like tragedies.
-Kate: (less bubbly, turning to her) Who cares?
-Joseph: (to Alexis) Can I get you anything?
-Kate and Alexis: (both turn back to him, firmly) No.
-Alexis: (gives Kate a evil look, then turns to Joseph) I have tickets to a black metal concert and have decided that you're coming with me.
-Joseph: Uhh... Wow. Thanks for the invite but last time I was at one of those, the speakers nearly blew my head off.
-Alexis: That's the way it's supposed to be. It's-
(Door jingles and Kendra walks in while Alexis is speaking. She carries a small stack of notebooks and textbooks and pushes her glasses back into place before interrupting Alexis.)
-Kendra: (Vehemently) Barbaric! That music is atrocious!
(Kate looks at Kendra, confused, and turns to Joseph)
-Joseph: Really bad.
-Kate: Oh. (To Kendra) Just because you know big words, doesn't mean you have to use them.
-Kendra: (proudly) Of course I do. How else could I become Joseph's English tutor?
-Joseph: (Offended) I don't need an English tutor!
-Kendra: (remembering) Right. A math tutor?
(Alexis and Kate scoff. Joseph shakes his head. Door jingles and Jaz enters, taller than the rest, wearing a baseball shirt, basketball shorts, golf visor, and carrying a football.)
-Jaz: No, no. He needs to be playing sports, not sitting behind a book. Come on, Joseph, how 'bout we go play some football? Maybe some two hand touch?
(Joseph and Kendra look disgusted, Alexis stifles a giggle, and Kate just looks mad.)
-Kate: (angrily) He's not going anywhere with you! Or anyone else for that matter! He's going out with me!
-Joseph: Whoa! Wait a minute!
-Alexis: No, he's going to a concert with me!
-Joseph: Hey! I didn't-
-Kendra: Oh please! He's going to study with me!
-Joseph: I never said-
(The four girls explode into an argument. Door jingles and Veronica enters hesitantly. Joseph is coming around the corner when he sees her and becomes determined to break up the fight.)
-Joseph: (stepping into the mob of girls and they silence. He says to Kate irritated) Your roots are showing.
(Kate covers her head and screams as she runs offstage)
-Joseph: (grabs Jaz's football) Alright, go long! (acts like he's about to throw the ball)
-Jaz: (as she runs offstage ready to catch the ball) How long, bro?
-Joseph: (still acting like he's about to throw the ball) Longer! Longer! A few more yards!
(There is a loud crash. Joseph, Kendra, and Veronica wince, Alexis smiles grimly.)
-Joseph: (looking into Kendra's notebook) That's wrong. (He points to something on the page)
-Kendra: (gasping) No! No, it's not! (starting to panic as she exits) I need a calculator!... and an eraser! (exits)
(Alexis smirks and turns to look at Joseph. Joseph just stares back at her. After a second, her smirk fades and she stalks offstage, leaving only Veronica and Joseph on stage.)
-Joseph: Hey, how are you?
-Veronica: Good. I got your text. What was so urgent?
-Joseph: I have no plans for break in (looks at watch) two minutes.
-Veronica: None?
-Joseph: None.
-Veronica: What were all those other girls doing here?
-Joseph: They'd come to order something and were greatly disappointed to find that what they wanted isn't here.
-Veronica: Well that sucks.
-Joseph: (as he walks behind the counter) Yeah, for them. But what I want, just came in. (he disappears for a second and then reappears with a chocolate milkshake and two straws.) Do you happen to be doing anything?
-Veronica: That depends.
-Joseph: (suddenly crestfallen) On what?
-Veronica: (checks her watch) Has your break started yet?
(Joseph smiles and nods. They both walk over to a table next to a window sitting across from each other. They both start sipping their milkshake while lovingly looking at each other. Meanwhile, Kate, Alexis, Kendra and Jaz are seen on the other side of the window, looking at them, rejected and jealous. Lights go out.)




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Athena19This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 19 at 6:05 pm:
This was really funny! Sometimes I feel like this is exactly what school is every day.
 
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