It's All in my Head | Teen Ink

It's All in my Head

January 24, 2017
By Naila BRONZE, Harleysville, Pennsylvania
Naila BRONZE, Harleysville, Pennsylvania
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I wake up to the sound of water dripping lazily on the ground. I cautiously open my eyes and analyze what is around me. I sit in a dark, damp room with no sign of comfort inhabited inside. I look around but fail to find any bed, windows, or even a door for that matter. A shiver travels down my spine and tingles my toes. The moisture causes the atmosphere to be unbearably cold. Attempting to lift myself off the crisp floor, I realize that my body has lost all of its strength. Unable to comprehend my situation, I sit stone still with a blank expression on my face. I try to think back and remember how I could have ended up here. But all I see is a black wall blocking me from my memories. Reality starts to sink in and I start to panic. Where am I? How did I get here? Where is my family? My mind is going crazy with ongoing questions and thoughts. My heart is racing and I can hear the Bum! Bum! Bum! bouncing off of the four walls enclosed around me. A silent tear escapes my eye and stains my cheeks. As I try to comfort myself, I access a happy image within my mind.

I close my eyes and smile as I envision the image I was seeing in my mind. There was a willow tree with endless arms that stretch to the sky. Autumn leaves litter the ground below the bush of leaves sitting on the tree. In my mind I make my way over to the tree and kneel down beside it. I enjoy the scene for a moment. I feel safe and secure. My mind drifts away from my unfortunate situation and focuses on the calming scene around me. Suddenly a hand brushes against my shoulder.. It startles me so much that it wakes me up in reality. I no longer see four dark walls. Insead the large willow tree with autumn leaves is standing in front of me. Still confused, I turn around to see whose hand was on my shoulder. No one is there. I am alone.
This is real. I am really in my mind. My mind is my reality. I am frightened by my discovery. How was I able to imagine something and make it become my reality. I try to think back and understand my ability but my mind hits a black wall. I can’t access anything past it.
I see a slight movement to the my right which interrupts my thoughts. I abruptly turn my head. In the distance, a tall feminine figure stands gazing in my direction. We stare at each other for a moment and then she starts to run away. I begin to panic. She is my chance of getting an explanation of what’s happening. I started to chase after her.
“Hey come back here! What is happening? Hey,” I scream after the stranger.
I tackle her to the ground and am now on top of her. She is covering her face with her hands in a calm manner, like she is putting no effort into hiding herself. Desperate for answers, I remove her hands from her face. I let out a small gasp.
“Mom?” I ask barely above a whisper.
Her mouth slowly curls up in a small, familiar smile. While I look at her in wonder, I don’t know what to feel. I am happy but confused with a hint of fear. I can’t think. I can just feel. My mind is racing for an explanation but I keep hitting a black wall. I am so focused on my mom and my own aching thoughts that I don’t know what is happening around me.
In the corner of my eye, the world is changing around us. At first I felt confused. The scenes surrounding me were blinding; they were constantly changing. The only thing I could make out was the dark room. As I grow more confused, the scenes around me started to change more rapidly. I look back down at the woman below me and realize that she is not my mom. Her face is changing from different characters I have seen throughout my life. But the faces aren’t the only thing that looks familiar. The scenes that are playing around me are from my memories, behind the black wall. In  a scared daze, I start to stand up. I feel dizzy and lightheaded. I am spinning trying to catch all of the scenes and analyze them into some type of explanation. I suddenly fall and land on my left leg. But I am too flustered to think about the pain. I don’t know what to do so I gently close my eyes. I am left with the danger of my own thoughts and oh how dangerous they are. I try to calm my thoughts by imagining the last thing I remember; the room with the four dark damp walls. Minutes later I sit up quickly, leaving the security of my mind. My breathing is short and quick. I am alert but unaware of where I am. And then it all clicks. I am back where I started. Four black walls stare back at me in this small room. But this time is different. Against one of the walls is a door. I finally understand. I know what I have to do.
I get up from my place on the floor. In slow, calm strides I make my way to the door. When I am standing in front of it, I take a deep breath and clear my mind. I extend my arm and grab the knob. I am ready and not even my own thoughts can stop me. I open the door and walk through it. I have broken down the black wall. And now I am able to explore.



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