“Look at this mess!” I shouted in frustration and anger as I walked into my living room. It was a complete and utter mess. My slippers came in contact with several bits and pieces of lamps and vases littering the floor. The couch had scratches and fur all over it. ‘This place is a pigsty!’ I thought, before I was brought back to reality by the smell of breakfast being made. As I walked into the kitchen, I plopped down into one of the chairs as I grabbed the newspaper and opened it.
“I swear these kids are a mess!” As I grumbled on and on while reading, my wife placed a plate of a breakfast with bacon, eggs, cheese and toast. “JUST PERFECT! The Jets lost again! And the Cowboys won again! That’s just great…” I chomped down on my sandwich angrily and hungrily. “Mmm, well at least breakfast is good. Thank you, dear.” My scowl soon changed to a halcyon expression as I continued to eat my breakfast.
“I like you better like this. I don’t like it when you get all angry and mad in the morning.” Annabelle, my loving and caring wife, rubbed my arm tenderly. I gazed at her hand before looking up at her face. Her beautiful face that was being highlighted by the morning sun. From her reddish-orange locks that cascaded down her back like a river to the freckles to those tiny brown islands that decorated her cheeks and nose. What stood out the most were her eyes: blue and green, much more beautiful than my ordinary brown orbs. Those are what made her the beauty that she was. Even though she had a voluptuous figure, her eyes were what really drew me in. They represented the raw wilderness and the untamable sea, much like the America Last Frontier where she called home. What she lacked in size she made up for spirit and ferocity. She was my polar opposite; always hot-headed, child-like, passionate, outgoing, and adventurous whereas I’m mature, calm, cool-headed, reserved, and cautious. I smiled softly as I rubbed her face.
“Sorry, Annabelle. I guess I’m having a rough start today.” I leaned over and kissed her, turning her frown into a gleeful smile. She always looked better with a smile. “I don’t like seeing you frown. Turn that frown upside down!” I playfully made a goofy face, making her laugh instantly.
“Oh, Ernie, you’re so silly,” she laughed some more as I looked away with a slight pout. I always did hate that nickname: Ernie.
‘Makes me sound like the stupid Sesame Street puppet.’ It does sound close to my actual name: Ernesto Montevideo Leguizamo Gonzalez VIII...Well I do suppose that is a lot to say. I turned back to my giggling esposa with one question: “Where are the kids?”
“Why, they’re outside playing with Spot!” She sounded with great excitement, but made me frown as I had another question.
“Is that what happened in the living room?” I frowned as I watched her laugh awkwardly while looking at the television. I raised a eyebrow as I began to grow suspicious. “Did you let the kids play with Spot in the house again?”
“Um, look! Supernatural’s on! Let’s go watch!” She pointed to the TV nervously, making me just sigh in defeat as I shook my head.
“So you did let them play inside. You’re too lenient on them. Look at the mess they made!” I turned as I pointed to the demolition zone that was the living room.
“But they were only playing with him, dear.”
“No buts! I don’t want to hear it!” I shouted, making my wife plop down in one of the few remaining chairs as she crossed her arms beneath her chest as I pouted angrily. I again just sighed. ‘I don’t know who’s worse: her, the kids, or Spot. Speaking of which…’ I turned to Alice who was still, like a child, sitting and pouting. “Just exactly are they doing outside?” I asked in a much softer tone, trying not to scare or upset her.
“Hmmp!” She turned her head away from me and continued to pout. I did have to admit: She was really cute when she got like this and it often made me laugh whenever she was in the “pouting phase.” However, now was not the time for fun and giggles, I wanted to know where my kids were.
“Annabelle, c’mon please. Just tell me what they’re doing.” I tried to realize with her, hoping she would this time be the adult she was.
“Hmmp!!”...Nope, got my hopes up for nothing.
“Annie, please. I promise to make you your most favorite drink in the world.” Well, let’s see if bargaining works.
Annie slowly turned her head towards me as her face softened. “You mean it?” 

YES! Success!

“Only if you tell me where the kids are.” I smiled brightly at her.
It was now her turn to sigh in defeat. “Fine. They’re out back, teaching him a new trick.”
“Wait, what do you mean-”
‘BOOM!’  An explosion erupted from the backyard. Upon hearing that noise, my eyes widened in fear as I paled. ‘CRAP!’ I soon sprinted outside, fumbling with my robe belt before finally tying it as I witnessed the sight before me. My three children: Henry, Daria, and Lewis Gonzalez all riding onto the family pet, Spot, who had currently burned down the fence and part of the forest near our house. You see, Spot isn’t your normal pet like a dog or a cat; He’s a manticore. The very same manticore with giant scorpion tails, bat wings, body of a red lion, rows of sharp teeth. And the know the worst part about them? The destruction they cause!
My youngest, Daria, got off of the massive beast as she ran over to me with a bright and wide smile plastered on her face. She was the exact twin of my wife except for her brown locks and blue eyes. “PAPI! PAPI! Did you see that, papi? We taught Spot a new trick!”
I stood there, dumbfounded and shock with my mouth completely ajar. I couldn’t think of words. The bill that I was going to have to pay this time was going to worse! I grabbed my head as I shouted with the top of my lungs “Just why would you teach Spot to do that??!!” All of my kids were taken by the volume and tone of my voice.
“B-B-Because it looked awesome, right Dad?” My eldest Lewis pointed out to the destruction that I would once again have to pay for repairs.
“No, it is not awesome, Lewis! That’s it!” I took off my slipper and inhaled sharply as I held it in the air. Daria, Henry, and Lewis all turned into ghosts as they looked up at it with fear in their eyes before turning away and running, however, I caught them before they could.
“Papi, It wasn’t even my fault. It was Henry’s idea!”  Lewis pleaded and squirmed out of my hold, but it was no use as I spanked him five times on his behind without reluctance. I put him down then grabbed the middle child and mastermind, Henry before he could hide in the bushes. I grabbed his shaking legs although he kept trying and trying to kick me away.
“No me gusta!! No me gusta la chancla!!” His pleading fell onto deaf ears as I spanked him five times as well before settling him down. My gaze then turned to Daria, who was trembling in her feet. I walked over to her slowly before bending down to her level.
“Papi…” Her eyes began watering as she feared she would be treated the same as her brothers. I smiled at her brightly which confused her at first, but she smiled back as well. As soon as her guard was lowered, I plucked her forehead three times quick and hard. She wailed in pain as she rubbed her head in pain.
“Now then...Spot!” I yelled as I looked around, instantly spotting a scorpion tail quivering behind the shed. “SPOT!! C’mon here!! I see you!!” The tail stood straight up before it sadly fell down onto the ground, making a loud thud. The beast came forth, its walk was slowly and full of disappointment and sadness. I glared at him as he bowed his head.
“Sorry, Master.” He bowed and pleaded with his gruff and thunderous voice. “I promise not to do it again?” He looked up and smiled, hoping to appease me.
However, I slapped him on the head ten times. He groaned and howled in pain as he rubbed his head. Now, I had three crying children and one sobbing manticore. Just perfect...I sucked up some air. “Enough! Now go clean up your mess!”
All four moved slowly like cattle to the slaughterhouse “Yes sir…” They whine and whimper as they walked into the house. As they walked back in, Annie looked at her children with saddened eyes.
“Good Lord, I knew I should have gotten a Husky instead.” I sighed as I rubbed my face in fatigue. As I turned to walk back into the house, I looked up at the back door to see my wife angrily glare me down. I sigh again, realizing that today was going to be a looong day.