Black. I lay wide awake in my pitch black room. I try to let my thoughts muffle the yelling across the hall. I saw right through my mother’s lies. The genetically modified eyes given to us early in age may be able to change colors and memories in our mind but they would never be able to hide the truth. The cold nights she had been “working late” were the desperate nights locked in some man’s bedroom doing Lord knows what.
White. Maybe shades of gray. I wonder if happiness exists. I found the courage to turn on my lamp. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness so the light was a bit surprising; although our eyes were made to adjust to everyday life. I can’t remember what it was like to be without the eye chip. They help with our everyday life more than I knew possible.
It was 11:03 p.m. Past my bedtime for sure. As my eyes adjusted to the light, I saw my reflection in a mirror I had laying on my desk. Occasionally I can see the glassy mechanics in my eye; if I look hard enough sometimes I see color but I know deep in my head that’s not true. My gaze was locked for some reason. My eyes were big but very tired. Tired of the constant fighting? Tired of the never ending marriage counseling appointments secretly scheduled as if I didn’t already know? Everybody knew.
I’m interrupted by a loud crash of some object; it must have been a vase. My father throws things a lot when he is angry. I don’t think he could control it. Every crash I hear surprises me even though I’ve heard it countless times before.
With fear, I leaped out of my bed, inching closer to the bedroom door. The yelling grew louder the closer I slid to the door. I had to move my brown curly hair to the side to see through the crack in my door. It always felt like hours watching them fight.
“I never meant to hurt you!” My mother would say, as if my father would forgive her.
“All you do is lie!” My father would retaliate. His voice cutting so deep into my soul.
“My coworker saw you with the other man! His eye chip recorded it!”
“I don’t love you anymore, Rose. I’m finished with your games. I no longer see color because my love for you is completely gone. Are you happy with yourself? Was it worth it?” He said again, my mother in tears.
I had only been listening to snippets of the argument. I looked into my father’s eyes and somehow I could almost see the dull grayness everyone who does not truly love sees. It was the cost of the eye chip enhancement. It was what I saw. I always wondered what color was like. I guess I would just have to wait.
I am 21 now. I’m standing in the gray toned coffee shop where I work, except, I’m not moving. I stand there holding this mug of coffee staring into the distance recalling these past events as if in a trance. If you would have asked anyone in the cafe I must have looked like a total nutcase.
“Erm...excuse me ma’am?” I’m interrupted by an unfamiliar voice.
My eyes scramble around, I almost drop the coffee mug.
“Ma’am?” The voice grows louder. The woman trys to get my attention. She reads my name tag.
“Ivana..?” She attempts once more, reading my name like I’m crazy.
My eyes finally focus on my awfully confused customer.
“Oh my, I’m sorry I don’t quite know what happened,” I finally say to her, unsure of my whole situation.
“Uh…” She grabs the coffee. “Thank you,” she says almost like the woman just forced it out. I mean I don’t blame her.
“I am just done today.” I mutter to myself while removing my apron. I am so utterly exhausted from the day. I leave with a cup of coffee and make my way home.
I’m walking down a sidewalk looking down and drinking my coffee. My hair has been in a tight bun since the morning and my head needs a break. I take down my hair and let it flow freely. I was honestly in a hurry to get home and sleep.
It all happened too fast. I take a sip once more of my coffee. The wind decides to sway my hair, but not very lightly. The wind picks up so much speed that before I know it my hair is covering my face completely. I can’t see anything but wisps of white through strands in my hair. The wisps become darker and darker until bam! I drop to the ground. I wonder who in the world has the audacity to knock me over!
“What in the world? Ouch!” I let out.
A man. A young man. A young charming man. I just sit on the ground, processing what happened. The man runs his hands through his hair seeming guilty.
“I...I’m really sorry.” he says to me, holding out a hand to help me up.
I hadn’t even noticed the coffee drenching my shirt.
I grab his hand and stand up. My eyes saw something so different it scared me, his eyes gleaming of a new kind of color I had never experienced. I’m in complete shock of what I’m seeing. No longer just the ordinary black and white I got used to, it’s different.
“...” silence for a second while we look at each other. “It’s uh-I’m…” I don’t quite know what to say.
He wore big geeky glasses that fit him so well. His colored hair sitting atop his head, loosely kept. All my life I heard about the stories of when people saw color for the first time and never in a million years would I have expected this. Right now.
I check my surroundings and everything seems to be going in slow motion. I see next to the sidewalk, a garden with vibrant flowers there. So pure. The stems resembled the deep shade his eyes were. So natural and calming. I saw the same color when I looked to the left of the sidewalk. Patches and free areas of grass infested the area. My eyes are overwhelmed. I had no idea color would be this breathtaking and alluring.
“You see it too right? I say a bit anxiously.
“See what?” He asks me.
My heart dropped so hard he must have heard it breaking. How does one react to this? That feeling you get in your stomach when your heart’s broken. It’s like all the butterflies just died. I hear my chip maneuvering and changing and suddenly everything changes back. All the beautiful color I saw vanishes.
“You didn’t see it?” I say to him.
He stares confused.
“Nevermind then. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.” I mutter as he continues on the path.
My heart is torn apart and I do the only logical thing to do, I click reset.