The End of the Line | Teen Ink

The End of the Line

November 6, 2015
By Malpal36 BRONZE, Eagan, Minnesota
Malpal36 BRONZE, Eagan, Minnesota
3 articles 0 photos 0 comments

A deep black blanket descends upon the world, draping everything in darkness. Stars float by me on my way up, shining through the inky sky. They shimmer with an intense glow, their beams bouncing off the shadows of the night. They glisten in a way that leaves me vulnerable, a sharp light that burns through my soul. I’m wrapped in a cocoon of warmth, pure bliss surrounding my whole being. I can imagine how the wind must feel, how cold it must be. But the icy breeze fails to penetrate my skin. The moon drifts by then, swathed in an eerie glow. It is beautiful up close, an imperfect sphere filled with holes and craters. It has a distinct contour, jagged chunks ripped from it. The sight is breathtaking. 

I drag my gaze away as I continue to drift up into the sky, floating on some invisible force. Everything is so beautiful here, so peaceful. I close my eyes, attempting to embrace the tranquility. But my eyelids refuse to seal, staying stubbornly open. Fear starts to creep into me, an ugly black snake slithering its way into my mind. Taking hold of my freckled arm, I try pinching myself, squeezing my fingers together in a vice grip. I crush my fragile skin with all the strength I have, hoping to wake up from this unnatural dream. But I don’t feel a thing.

I glance down at my hands, only to see that they are enveloped in a hazy green light, as is the rest of my body. My torso’s clad in my favorite graphic tee, one that I’d gotten from a rock concert when I was twelve. There is a yellow stain on my left shoulder, one that had refused to come out, even after multiple washings. My tattered jeans have a hole in them, and a metal ring encircles my pointer finger. Everything is exactly as I remember. But something's off. I don’t know what, exactly. There's just too much detail, too much specificity, for it to be a dream. 

             I tear my eyes away from my clothes and snap them back up to the sky. I am higher now, the moon no longer visible. I start passing by objects I’ve never even heard of. I start seeing things I never knew existed. I start doubting everything that I’ve ever come to know. I'm not sure of anything anymore. Suddenly, my heart constricts, and my muscles squeeze in on my bones. I start to go into a panic. I have to get down. I need to get down. Get down. Get down. Get down. Get back on earth, back to my welcoming bed. I need to wake up, safe and tangled in my orange and yellow sheets. I flail my arms, trying to push up on the sky, to stop myself from floating upwards. But there's no use. Despite my best attempts, I continue to drift up and up, towards the unknown. I can’t remember a time in my life where I’ve ever felt so powerless. Some superior force has taken control over my own fate, and I’m worthless. I feel myself start to shake, tremors running down my spine, the fear taking hold of me. "Stop!" I try to scream. "Stop! Stop it! Leave me alone!" But no sound comes out. No words are uttered into the vast emptiness. I am powerless. Alone. Afraid. 

A voice pierces my thoughts then, right when I needed it the most. The voice doesn’t say anything, just hums a soft melody. It's a beautiful song, one that I recognize, yet I know for a fact I have never heard it before. The voice is familiar too, as if it has been lulling me to sleep ever since I was born. It is a soothing voice, the way I imagine a mother must sound to her baby. I immediately grow calm, feeling more safe than I’ve ever felt. And in that moment, I know everything is going to be alright.

            I don’t fight the pull anymore. I don't try to stop it. I just allow myself to be carried higher and higher, letting the universe take me where it wants. After a while, there is nothing. No more planets, no more stars. No more life. Just the open sky. The air caresses me, enfolding me in its embrace, making me feel secure. The dark night wraps itself around my body, lulling me into a peaceful state.

Suddenly, I stop, coming to an abrupt halt. I stay there, hanging in the air, as a strange feeling settles deep in the bottom of my being. And then, having no other choice, I wait. And wait. And patiently wait. I don’t know how long I stay there, suspended at the top of the world. It seems to stretch on forever, but I'm not eager to move. I'm content right where I am, no longer scared. The longer I wait, the more my thoughts seem to melt away. My brain shuts down and I am just lying there, completely still. Everything is silent, and I listen for the sound of my breath. I search for my heartbeat, pounding in my chest. For the soft rise and fall of my belly, inhaling and exhaling. Yet I don’t feel my heart. And I don’t hear my breath. My chest and lungs are empty, just like the rest of me. 

            The darkness hits me suddenly, violently. It is almost indescribable. Something so sinister, so cruel, that it seems to swallow up everything else around it, destroying all that is right in the world. The tunnel overpowers everything, making me tremble. The intensity of it shakes me to my core. There is no end to the pure blackness, a bottomless dark pit. And then it disappears, replaced by a light so brilliant, so blinding, that it sears straight into me. It fills me up with an intense need that I didn’t know I had. A light so powerful, so good, that euphoria wraps around my body, and I am complete. This light is the final piece to the puzzle, the piece that makes me whole, that completes my journey. With a jolt, I'm sucked up into it, tumbling through the light at an out worldly speed. I know, in that moment, that I'm exactly where I need to be. And for that reason alone, I welcome death, letting the light fully immerse my soul. This was the end of the line.



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