She Shines

January 14, 2009
She shines as if she was a light. Her beautiful red catches the eyes of everyone. But, having to see her go was as if we were getting divorced. In my heart I’ll never forget the time we spent speeding on the roads and sliding in dirt fields. But, I was in need of money.

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little_blond_brunette said...
Feb. 8, 2009 at 7:21 am
this is a good start. its like the first paragraph thats ment to suck u into the story. but now u need more. u need character development. u need to explain things. the events leading up to the present. u need so much more. bt this is a good start. u shud add to it and then repost it. it deff seems worth reading
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