Hi-yah! I am Bob the potato ninja. I live in Canada. Right now I am at war with the dreaded shovels. If they catch you, they will bake you in an oven until you’re dead. They captured one of my friends, Barney, and I never heard from him since. Then just recently when I knocked out a shovel I saw that he had something of Barney’s in his backpack. It was his shoe. That meant that they had killed Barney. Then I got very mad. I got so mad that I threw the unconscious shovel of a cliff and let him die. Then I went back to my cave and started making weapons to attack the shovels. I made daggers, swords, grenades, arrows, and rifles. After that I snuck through the woods to the outskirts of the shovel base. It looked like a castle with machine guns everywhere. There was the smell of burning potatoes hanging in the air. Along with the smell came the sounds of dozens of buzzards circling the castle, waiting for food scrapes to be discarded out somewhere. I started sliding on my stomach towards the entrance. The ground felt hard and bumpy, making it almost impossible to slide across it without being noticed. As I got closer to the entrance, I could hear the guards talking to each other.
“Can’t wait till supper, since we caught that big fella this morning. Right Bill?”
“Yea, that sucker was big!” Bill agreed. Those sick shovels. How could they just eat the poor dude? Suddenly my eyes started to feel like soggy pieces of cereal as I thought of that at poor potato. Then I made a decision. I would rescue the big fella, and then blow up the castle. So I crept behind the two guards. When they both turned around, I stood up and judo-chopped them both.
“Ouch!” one of the guards said.

“Suck it up,” I whispered to him. Then he fell unconscious. As I proceeded down a long corridor, I heard the distant screams of what might have been the man I was trying to rescue. Finally I got to the end and saw a Potato restrained to a wall. Those two guards were right, he did look fat. I also saw an oven behind him though, which meant that I better hurry up. When I walked in, a shovel caught me off guard and jumped in front of me. I pushed him towards the tied up potato because I couldn’t think of anything else to do. He tripped on something sticking out of the ground and fell in the hot oven, and died.

“So what’s your name?” I asked to the potato while I was untying his restraints.

“My name is Fred, and thanks for rescuing me.

“No problem,” I said while putting a C-4 on the wall to blow up the building. “Now lets get out of here.” We ran back down the corridor and out the entrance. When we got to the outside, I heard an explosion from inside. I looked up and saw a huge fireball were the castle use to be. I could feel the heat of it against my rough skin. And we ran into the woods and lived happily ever after.