My feet dragged along the rough desert ground, nothingness stirring in my wake. I knew that I could never go back to who I was before. I knew that my battered feet will take me away from the inevitable screaming, crying and pain. I allowed the bruised flesh and bone to trample across the hot sand; I allowed the rocks and dried sticks to slice my flesh open one cut after another. I knew I was breaking, I could feel it. I felt the nothingness swallow me whole. My heart was crumbling into nothing, my brain shutting down, not to lock everything out but to make sure nothing breaks me even more. I looked up at the burning ball in the bright blue sky which was heating my skin, making me remember that I was alive. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, I wanted to break myself, to rip my hair out, I just wanted, no, I needed the release, the relief. I didn’t know when I was going to break, I didn’t know if anyone was listening as I prayed for release. I watched the world around me become a blue as tears streamed down my face. I scowled at my weakened state. I dropped onto my knees and clutched my aching chest. I screamed my hardest. I felt my aching chest squeeze with every cry. I grabbed the burning sand in the palms of my hands, I felt alone. I stood once more and reached out my hands to the sun.
“Save me,” I said,” Steal me away.”
I looked across the desert, my feet taking me away once more. I could not feel how battered and bruised my feet were. I was empty. I saw a rusted skeleton of a car and ran my hand against the roughness of it. My heart stopped breaking and stood still. Was it even beating? I had no idea and I didn’t want to know. The sand granules entered my bleeding sores. I trudged the path of nothingness, hoping, pleading for something, anything to love me, to be with me and then, I felt hope flicker in my heart. I saw it, the shadow of an eagle on the ground in front of me. I looked up and smiled. I heard its call, its sweet sound enveloping me. The wedge-tailed eagle flew in circles around me then dived. Its claws lightly grazed against my hair as if it was telling me to open myself once more. I felt my heart beat faster and become whole, I felt the walls collapse around my heart, letting me feel and see properly. The tears stopped dripping down my face and a smile surfaced on my lips. I laughed and ran with the eagle. I ran as fast as I could, the eagle singing for me, with me. I felt the wind lift my blonde hair off of my shoulders and made it trail behind my back. Running up a hill, my lungs filled with air, reminding me that I am more alive than I thought. I stopped ontop of the hill and saw lush green grass, trees and people. The eagle landed next to me on the ground as I doubled over panting and looked up at me.
“Thank you,” I whispered to it.
I watched it shake its feathers then a bright light was emitted from its form. I screamed and went to grab it but it jumped away from my outstretched hands.
“Don’t leave me!” I screamed then closed my eyes.
“I won’t leave you,” I opened my eyes to see a young man standing before me where the eagle once was.
He smiled down at me and I felt tears trail down my eyes.
“Thank you, Thank you!” I chanted to him over and over again, tears of gratitude trailing down my face then his hand lifted my face.
I looked into his emerald green eyes and then watched as his rosy lips descended on mine. I sighed. I was alive.