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Opulence: Another Peek

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I drive up to the gate, leading to the huge group home. It’s brick, old, and three stories. This is the local area for trainers and apprentices to stay. I moved out a while ago, when my basic training officially ended and I turned eighteen. Since then my office, at the nearest O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. building, has been more than enough. I travel a lot.

“This place is huge. Are you sure we’re allowed to be here?” Evan asks, gaping at the fortress from the window of the car after I turn down the music.

“I have the code and they’re expecting us. Rooms have already been prepared, along with a work space. Walter’s even here. He was my trainer, and now will over see my work with you,” I say, not mentioning how upset he’d been with me when I took the time to tell him what happened, during a bathroom break.

“So he’s your boss?” Evan asks as I put in the code and pull up to the residents’ driveway.

“No more than I’m yours. He’s simply my teacher and superior in the organization. I have plenty of respect for him, but I report to others, not him,” I say with an eye roll at the very idea.

Evan says as I pull into a parking spot, “You realize I don’t know any magic. I don’t even have any stuff, like clothes. This is all a bit sudden.”

“Best to keep a brisk pace or you’ll have time to think of how odd this all really is. You don’t need to worry about any belongings. Your room is furnished and we’ll provide everything you need for magic training. Besides that, all apprentices have a cafeteria to eat at, that costs you nothing. You also have an apprentice uniform, which you’ll be fitted for first thing,” I say as I leave the car.

“Great, this is sounding almost as bad as school,” Evan sighs.

I grumble as I lead him to the main entrance of the estate, “You were never this chatty back at school. I wish I’d known about your complaining before I signed on to be your trainer.”

I don’t mention that he’s my first apprentice, and I would have taken anyone.

“I’ll take you to Walter first. Then I’ll show you your room, our work space, and where you will be able to find me. I don’t normally stay here, but as your trainer, I have to be readily available. After all that, you’ll be fitted for your uniform and I’ll give you a tour of the place. I’m sure you’ll find it to your standards,” I say confidently.

“Wait,” Evan says, grabbing my hand to stop me.

I act on reflex, everything happening before I have the chance to realize I have him turned around, pressing the pressure point on the back of his neck as I hold his arms behind his back. He gasps in shock and pain. Then I realize what I’ve done and release him sheepishly. One such as myself, small and cute, I need to have fast reflexes. The places I go aren’t always the most civilized, and I look like I could easily be taken advantage of.

“What was that for? It really hurt!” Evan exclaims, rubbing his arms.

“Sorry,” I say, slightly embarrassed. “What were you saying?”

“Sure, just go on like nothing happened. I was going to say that you’re rushing things a bit. I don’t even want to be here, not that you bothered to ask,” Evan says, dryly.

I shrug and continue moving toward the building, saying over my shoulder, “That doesn’t really matter, Evan. Every person with the power must be trained, under law. It will be easier if you see this as helpful, instead of mandatory. You could really hurt someone, without proper control of your abilities. Besides, you should be very comfortable here. It won’t be forever.”

“How long will I be forced to live here?” He asks.

I ignore his negativity and say, “It depends on how well you commit yourself to your studies. If you don’t accomplish the basic training then you have to stay. Once you have you can request to be moved back home, where you’ll be put into contact with a tutor in your area.”

“You’ve been here for over a decade. Is that how long it takes for ‘basic training’?” He asks as I open the front door and usher him inside.

I laugh lightly and say, “Of course not. I completed that years ago. I’m well within the realm of mastery. It just happens that I have no where else to go, and trust me, I don’t mind. I would much rather devote myself to the power. I don’t see it as a punishment, but more of a privilege.”

“You mean, I don’t have to go back home?” Evan asks.

I raise an eyebrow and say, “I thought you were eager to go home and be back with your parents?”

He laughs, a harsh noise and says, “If what you’re saying is true, that everything here isn’t that bad, then I’m fine with staying here until I’m eighteen. My parents never wanted a child, and even less so after they had me. I doubt I‘ll be missed.”

Evan finally comes into the house and I close the door behind me. In the foyer there are smooth, hard wood floors, with large closets along the walls. The room leads out in three ways, forward and to the left and right. There are lights set dimly with no windows besides the one above the front doors.

“I’ll take that for you Miss Wordsworth. I hope you had a most pleasant trip,” A middle aged woman says as she rushes in, face flushed, dressed in a staff uniform.

“Thank you, Kate,” I say as I hand her my light-weight, green trench coat.

“No problem Miss. I’ll take your’s as well young man,” Kate says happily, reaching for Evan’s coat.

He hands it to her awkwardly and she quickly hangs them up and puts them in the residents closet. The clothing is neatly labeled in sections for apprentices, trainers, and such. Evan watches her perform this task uncomfortably. He will soon have to get used to it, seeing as staff and such will be around him often now. I don’t see why people are distressed by servants, since it’s their job.

“Evan, this is our housekeeper, Kate. Usually the butler comes to the door. Kate, this is the newest addition to apprentices, Evan Grant,” I say to them both.

“So nice to meet you, Mr. Grant,” Kate says with a smile and a slight nod of her head.

“You can call me Evan,” He mumbles back.

“Mr. Grant, there is protocol here. I don’t mean any disrespect, but this is a formal relationship. Now, would you like me to show you two to your new accommodations?” Kate asks expectantly.

“Actually we’ll need to be shown straight to Walter,” I redirect her.

“Of course. I’ll show you myself this time, Mr. Grant, and don’t hesitate to come to me if you need help. Other than that, I run this estate. I do not play tour guide or bell hop. I am very busy and while I’m here to serve, serving you is not necessarily my main task. I organize everything, so one of the other staff will usually perform these tasks. I shouldn’t want you to be confused by it,” Kate tells Evan politely, while telling him firmly where she draws the line in the sand.

“No problem,” Evan nods, a little confusion showing on his face.

Kate wisely ignores it, trusting me to clear things up later on estate etiquette, and says, “Very well, this way then. He’s on this level, in his office.”

Kate leads us out of the foyer, to the left. It’s basically one main hallway, decorated with ornate light fixtures, intricate paintings of important organization members, burgundy rugs with gold details above the hard wood floors, cream walls, and gold trim. Overall the appearance is grand and sophisticated. It seems warm even though it isn’t necessarily.


As the three of us continue we pass countless doors, large, dark wood ones. Behind them are offices for the employees here, trackers and trainers that are currently here doing desk work. This is mainly the newest and oldest members. They are not doing field duty at the moment, but are still involved. The first offices are secretaries and other low ranking members. Since I’ll be actively training, my office will not be among these.

Kate takes us a little further before stopping and announcing, “Here we are. I assume he is expecting you. Should I send for any refreshments?”

“I’m sure we’ll be fine,” I say distractedly, ignoring Evans eager expression.

“Very well Ms. Wordsworth. It’s very nice to have you back here, and it’s very nice to meet you Mr. Grant,” Kate says courteously before moving back the way we came.

“Who is Walter again?” Evan asks as I’m reaching for the door.

“Hush! Would you like him to hear you say that?” I ask, removing my hand with a jerk. “Walter is my trainer and who we will be reporting to. You had best remember that. If you excel, or fall behind, he is who you’ll be dealing with.”

“So he’s your boss,” Evan smirks.

“Just try not to say anything stupid,” I sigh before throwing the door open and entering, Evan following behind.



Join the Discussion


This article has 174 comments. Post your own!

loong life said...
Feb. 1, 2010 at 1:32 pm:
this story was awsome please make more!
 
twiwrite replied...
Feb. 16, 2010 at 2:35 pm :
wonderfull!!!!! i hope you finish it!
 
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Moonhowler said...
Feb. 1, 2010 at 9:37 am:
I really hope I find more by you!
 
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Lil_Alice said...
Jan. 25, 2010 at 10:32 am:
This is sooo good! Please write more of it soon, its very interesting!
 
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Vanished said...
Jan. 24, 2010 at 2:48 pm:
Good evening, AquaGem. I admire your writing style, and the dialogue of "Opulence flows smoothly. Your character development is surprising in its candid nature and realistic portrayal. Congrats for deciding to compose a novel! I believe you have true potential, and I encourage you to keep writing! There is another Teen site for writing called inkpop .com , and it focuses on the writing of books by teens. Perhaps you should try it! (You certainly possess the unique talent, and an original id... (more »)
 
AquaGem This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 28, 2010 at 9:23 pm :
Hey Vanished! Thank you very much for the feedback. Thank you for encouraging me to write more of Opulence. This will be my fourth full length when I finish it! Saddly I got about 100 pages in and realized I wasn't set on the path it was going, so have gone back to try a few different directions. I'll go check out your story now! Ugh supposed to be 5 degrees tomorrow night.
 
Vanished replied...
Jan. 29, 2010 at 2:38 pm :
(Shudder) I abhor the cold! Luckily, it implies that you can remain inside, and write brilliance for the readers of your talented writing! Good luck with the novel, and thank you for singing your opinion of my short story.
 
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SharpestSatire said...
Jan. 22, 2010 at 9:36 pm:
Cliffie! Not fair! I have a critique, though. Example of what you do: "Whatever," He says. Correct way: "Whatever," he says. You did it a few times in this. Just made a note of it. :) Nice job!
 
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toxic.monkey said...
Jan. 22, 2010 at 11:24 am:
the story is intriguing! i wish you the best in your creative process!!
 
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AnneOnnimous said...
Jan. 20, 2010 at 5:12 pm:
good. not amazing but i guess not horrible either
 
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HappyRose09 said...
Jan. 20, 2010 at 2:54 pm:
Wow!! This is so good. I'm trying to write a novel too, but My sister says that its not so good. I have an excerpt on it. Can you look over it. http ://teenink .com /fiction/sci_fi_fantasy/article/163173/Excerpt-of-The-Black-Moon/ You dont have to look at it if you dont want to, I will hear from anyone who wants to give me advise. I really need the comments so I can get my writing spirit up. Thanks!! ^_^
 
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Headshot M. said...
Jan. 17, 2010 at 11:41 pm:
I'm in Year Nine and I desperately need tips. My friends sort of laugh at my articles. U just don't know the embarrassment it's causing. The article u wrote has stantards of putting J.KRowling out of business. Remember, this is from a serious Harry Potter lover. Good job. I voted Five stars. My craving for help is estatic
 
toxic.monkey replied...
Jan. 22, 2010 at 11:25 am :
your friends laugh at you? are you sure that they're your real friends and not a couple of body snatchers, sent on a mission to make people miserable and embarassed?
 
AquaGem This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 28, 2010 at 9:27 pm :
Wow sounds like you need some new friends! Actually I can't judge since most of mine aren't really interested in reading my writing at all. But that's why I have you guys! Thank you! shoot me an email at tatatatorrence@yahoo .com and I promise not to laugh at your writing ;)
 
HeadshotM replied...
Jan. 29, 2010 at 2:05 am :
YES
THEY R NOT!!!!! :(
*cries*
 
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soccerchica said...
Jan. 17, 2010 at 3:48 pm:
I love your style, and i was just curious if you were going to print OPULENCE.
 
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J. Rae said...
Jan. 6, 2010 at 4:17 pm:
I wish I had a laptop too AquaGem. That would make writing so much easier(I have 3 siblings and 2 parents that always need to work on the computer). I read that you searched in baby books to find names. I tried that to but... it was the librarian gave me some very strange looks. I just google the most common baby names. This must have been the fifth time I've written this but THIS STORY IS AWESOME!
 
AquaGem This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 6, 2010 at 7:26 pm :
Erm, well I do have a laptop. A lovely green baby that's named Shelldon hahaha! But before that me and my sister has some... interesting times deciding who got the computer :) Oh I know what you mean about the baby books! I've resorted to online ones. All of the librarians know me so best to keep gossip down. Thank you so much for your comment and email me at tatatatorrence@yahoo .com. Maybe we can help each other proofread, etc :)
 
J. Rae replied...
Jan. 8, 2010 at 6:57 pm :
That would be cool.
 
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J. Rae said...
Jan. 5, 2010 at 9:13 pm:
Please tell me what the novel is going to be called! I am desperate to read it.
 
J. Rae replied...
Jan. 5, 2010 at 9:20 pm :
Is it still going to be called Opulence?
 
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