The Teacup This work is considered exceptional by our editorial staff.

March 16, 2014
It was her sly smile and slitted eyes that told me from the moment I walked in that I was dancing with the devil. I have traveled all around the world asking a series of people; from the mute monk in Manzhouli to the sixth sensed pauper in Abbeyglen. All those questions have all led me to Argentina; to this woman. The “Silver Demon” is what the village people of the mountain had called her. They had cringed when I gave them the description the pauper had given me and then reluctantly pointed me towards a small trail that led up a tall mountain. Me and Christophe had made our way up the trail with no assistance of a carriage. It had been a hot and laborious walk up the windy trail. We finally came on a small women shack. Smoke floated out of a makeshift chimney despite how hot the day was. The door had been set wide open and when I looked inside the shack a woman had been standing in the middle of it smiling widely at us as if she had been expecting us.

Now that I see this woman, I understand why they had cringed and why she was called the, “Silver Demon.” Her eyes were a sparkling silver with cat-like pupils. Dark skin and raven-black hair that cascaded past her hips accentuated her luminescent eyes. Her wide grin revealed almost sharp, yellow teeth. All in all, she was a terrifying woman, but I stubbornly held my ground.

I gripped my parasol tight in my once white gloved hands as sweat from the sweltering heat of Argentina’s summer rolled down my back and I made introductions. “I am Sophia de Rosnay,” I said in english hoping the woman would understand, “And this is my brother Christophe.” Her grin seemed to widen at the mention of our names. “I am told you can help me with a situation.”

“What sort of situation?” She fortunately replied in english, but even her voice sent chills down my back. It reminded me of nails on a chalkboard. I looked at Christophe and he reach into his satchel and pulled out a small white teacup that fit in the palm of his hand. The only design on it was a thin gold line painted on the lip of the teacup. I nodded and Christophe handed it to the woman.

“It is our sister,” I explained calmly as the woman examined the teacup. “She is trapped within that teacup.”

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Icithra This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 28, 2014 at 9:24 am
Great story. I thought the ending was really funny - I don't know if you meant it that way. It just makes you imagine how their sister got trapped in a teacup, and that makes it even funnier. I loved this.
kingofwriters said...
Apr. 10, 2014 at 7:46 pm
BUILD ON THIS!!!! Seriously, this short story has such a dark and mysterious feel to it that the moment I finished it, I immediately thought about all the different places this story could go! Not only was the concept awesome and intriguing, but your imagery and overall style of writing were engrossing. My only issue (being EXTREMELY picky) was the description of Sophia and Christophe. I know this is just a short story, but we don't really get to know Sophia or Christophe at all. I didn't really... (more »)
Carly_Elizabeth replied...
Apr. 10, 2014 at 11:10 pm
Thank you so much for reading! And yeah I understand the whole description of the characters thing. I tried to give hints as to who they were and the time setting it was in. Like the parasol and white gloved hands. And I also tried to imply that they were french with the french last name, "de Rosnay" and Christophe is a french name also. But I understand that more description would be nice haha. Well thanks again!
JRaye This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 27, 2014 at 9:15 pm
Do you realize how much you could - SHOULD - build off of this??? :) You picked me up right from the start, and your style of writing is very intriging, too. Although I wouldn't call it a short story persay, there's just not enough to complete an entire story. The idea is great, and I sincerely think you could write a longer piece around this. Hopefully this helps - have a good day :D
Carly_Elizabeth replied...
Apr. 1, 2014 at 10:10 pm
Thanks for the feedback!  
LaChouette This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 25, 2014 at 7:43 pm
Interesting story! I like your description quite a bit; the imagery was really good, especially the way you described her features, including her voice. Your first line drew me in immediately; it was nicely written and it really pulled me in. There were a few grammatical errors, missing comas and such, but it's nothing major. I will say though, that you might want to allude to why the main characters are there. I understand that they were seeking help, but why Argentina? What makes that plac... (more »)
Carly_Elizabeth replied...
Mar. 25, 2014 at 10:35 pm
Okay so first thank you so much for reading this and for the feedback. That really helped a lot cause I wanted to continue this, but I just didn't know how and you just helped me figure that out. So Thanks! Secondly, I almost screamed at my computer when I saw the 'womaen shack' there. Ugh that 'women' is not supposed to be there if that helps. I can't believe I didn't see that and it makes me laugh that I still got editor's choice with that huge mess up haha. But... (more »)
FunneThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 22, 2014 at 8:38 am
what's gonna happen next  
Carly_Elizabeth replied...
Mar. 22, 2014 at 11:31 pm
honestly, I really don't know haha. 
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