The Sunrise Before Sunset

March 17, 2014
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Back three thousand years, there was this wise old dragon named Slayer. Slayer was flying through the sky when he came across two little babies. They were wrapped in a blue and red blanket under the Great Tree in the Forest. The dragon flew down to get a better view of the children. One of them had dark brown hair and baby blue eyes, it was a boy. The other had light blonde hair and baby blue eyes, it was a girl. "Slayer said I will raise these children as my own. I will teach them the way of the dragon and how to fight.

Slayer took then to his house in the sky. It was completely made of clouds and it was like a palace". Slayer wrapped them in a fresh new blanket and smiled at them. "Slayer said your name shall be Steel and your name shall be Hope". They began training a young age. "Slayer gave them halos to wear that gave them the ability to walk on the clouds and fly". Steel and Hope were trained in martial arts, and spared with each other. "Till Sunrise to Sunset". Their bodies ached in pain from Their intense training, and their training was about to pay off. Steel and Hope was walking through the forest on there way home from the Zing-Zang Festival.

They encountered a group of blood thirsty bandits who stole valuables from a local village man. Steel and Hope stepped in to help the villager. One of the bandits came running at Steel. Steel dodged the man’s knife, then grabbed his arm and flipped him into the bushes. Another bandit was coming at Steel, but Hope kicked him in the stomach and punched him in the face. All of the bandits came running at them. When Slayer flew down and roared at the bandits. The bandits turned and fled. Steel gathered the village man’s valuables and Hope helped the village man up. Slayer said I’ll take the villager back home". Night fell, Steel and Hope flew back home to a feast prepared by Slayer.

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tzuzan said...
Apr. 16, 2014 at 1:42 am
I appreciate your imagination.You had a unique way of thinking and the work looks very creative.
Kestrel135This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 28, 2014 at 3:15 pm
This is an interesting story, but it had a few grammatical errors. They didn't really take away from the piece, but were mildly distracting. Other than that, this is a good piece. I like how it is written like a legend, in a way, and was interesting to read. The only thing that I thought could have used some detailing was the last paragraph - there is a great concept in there, but it was sort of mushed together in a short little paragraph. If you elaborated just a little more on the bandits ... (more »)
GhostBeam replied...
Mar. 29, 2014 at 2:51 pm
Thx You Very Much For Your FeedBack, It Really Means Alot To Me. ^_^
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