I'm the Internet | Teen Ink

I'm the Internet

January 30, 2014
By PirateCountry DIAMOND, Muncie, Indiana
PirateCountry DIAMOND, Muncie, Indiana
91 articles 18 photos 330 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."


Hello, my name is…well, I have several different names. I’m the Internet. It’s nice to meet you, I suppose. Good day and all that.

I know how you humans are. You are all so…impatient!

Yes, I know that sometimes I’m a little slow. But don’t we all have bad days?

After you click on my icon twice, just wait. Has it ever occurred to you that I have a life too? What if I was doing something important?
I hope you know that you are a very inconvenient species.

I know that you’re in a hurry, alright? I know some of you have assignments to work on and stuff to turn in. But I can’t go any faster than my fastest! You can click my icon as many times as you want. It’ll only take longer for me to pop like a genie in a bottle.

Okay, I’m up. You’ve hauled me out of bed with your obnoxious clicking and now I’m ready to receive orders. What’s this? You want to go to imlazyandbored.com? I’m sorry but that is restricted sight.

Before you attack me, just listen. Someone has told me that I can’t let you go there. Why? I have no idea. Maybe you’re on a school protected device. But I have my instructions and you have yours. It’s not like I’m laughing evilly, hiding in the darkest corners of binary code. Maybe I’m chuckling a little bit but I don’t do it on purpose.

You owe me an apology, humans.


The author's comments:
My internet browser decided to pick a fight with me the other day...

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This article has 2 comments.


on Feb. 7 2014 at 6:51 pm
PirateCountry DIAMOND, Muncie, Indiana
91 articles 18 photos 330 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

Thanks very much!

Red546 GOLD said...
on Feb. 7 2014 at 2:32 pm
Red546 GOLD, Warrenton, Georgia
13 articles 0 photos 33 comments
Oh humans are obnoxious? I think the internet is ten times more obnoxious than humans have ever been. I like your imagery. :) very amusing


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