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Kernel the Grey Fluffy Wizard of the West
Kernel was the fluffy wizard of the West.
Kernel was on a very great quest.
He was the only cat who could use magic.
One evening there occurred something tragic.
King Marley ruled the land.
But it was no longer green, it was only sand.
Something evil had cast a spell,
To send King Marley’s land into Hell.
King Marley requested Kernel,
To seek the infernal, vernal journal.
Whom ever owned this book,
Was without a doubt the crook.
Kernel was the only cat able to take on this task.
So he gathered his things and his mighty mask.
This mask would show Kernel the way
No matter how far he would travel each day.
Whilst passing through the kingdom of boxes,
He ran into a gang of foxes.
They were attacking a kitten,
She had been badly bitten.
Kernel cast a destructive spell to save her.
The foxes ran off and she began to purr.
She introduced herself as Little Girl,
And rewarded Kernel with a traveling pearl.
This contained the magic to make one not tired,
Good for a traveller like Kernel to have acquired.
Little Girl gave Kernels face a lick,
And he ran off again with a kick.
Next was the land of white,
It was full of tuna and was rather bright.
The tuna fell from the sky on colourful discs.
The land contained only two risks.
If you ate too much,
Your tummy would hurt and such.
Tuna is a cat’s best friend.
So Kernel ate all of the tuna in the end.
He did not get tired because of the traveling pearl.
But he did begin to hurl.
He began to feel weak,
Then appeared a cat who was rather unique.
He stuttered and paced,
Before offering Kernel a drink he promised was not laced.
The drink would cure Kernel’s tummy ache,
The cat then slithered off like a snake.
Kernel felt so horrible,
And the drink did look adorable.
He gave it a chug,
It got rid of his bug.
Kernel felt really good,
But he forgot who he was and where he stood.
The mighty mask still showed the path,
So Kernel followed it and began to laugh.
Last was the Kingdom of Litter.
The smell of this land was quite bitter.
Kernel’s tummy was full,
So he gave a bowel movement the size of a bull.
In his droppings, there lay the journal.
The crook was in fact, Kernel.
He did not remember casting the black spell,
That turned King Marley’s land into Hell.
But then again,
He did not remember his name.
He cast a spell to return the land to being green,
And set the journal on fire with a flame that was mean.
As he watched the book burn,
His thoughts began to churn.
He was an evil wizard cat,
Quite frankly a brat.
He set his body on fire,
He decided it was his time to expire.