The Strange Plant

July 8, 2013
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The planet was bright red as I landed. It was December 25; I was visiting my relatives that lived on planet Mootown. I have not seen them since they moved there five years ago. They joined up with the new colony and won twenty billion dollars; ever since then my Christmas presents were the best; last year they got me a new flying car that could go a billion times the speed of sound. Now, as I ride in my nice new car, I wonder if they have changed at all.
I land the car right in their driveway; they, my aunt and uncle, are one of the lucky ones who could afford one. Most people did not have one because, to keep them on the ground, it cost one billion dollars. To buy the house was cheap; it only cost a penny.
I knock on the door made of orange Jello. “Hello? Am I going to break this?” I call since I assume that my aunt and uncle can hear me.
The wind blew through my hair as I adjusted my breathing mask. My breathing mask was purple and had jewels all over it; there were only ten of these in the whole universe. For some odd reason the lights were made of cowhides. “I thought cows were extinct?” I said.
“Only on Earth because we stole them all to take to Mootown. Take a guess why it is called that,” the bush, which was rainbow colored and was one of the new plants that talked.
“Try going around to the back,” the tree said. All of its leaves were glowing with artful light.
“I thought people are supposed to knock on the front door.” I questioned the talking plants. Walking up to the tree I started to pet the cow that was in the branches. Thanks to the advancement of technology and lack of gravity, the tree did not even bend from the weight.
“Well, you see, here on Mootown we do things backwards. Left is right and right is left. Green means stop, red means go, and yellow means to speed up. If you want something you demand it; we never say please,” the tree said.
“Why not? Is that not rude? I mean, come on, that is pretty non-caring of others feelings,” I said.
“No one has feelings on Mootown. We are all made up of the same mindset; the same artificial brain. Do not be surprised if your aunt and uncle do not remember you,” the tree told me as it reached down and picked up another cow.
I walked around to the back of the house. On the door stood a sign that read, “Walk in.” I walked in and said, “Aunt Suzy, Uncle Joe, are you here?”
“Who are you? Who is Aunt Suzy and Uncle Joe?” Joe said. He moved his hand through his hair to smooth it out.
“I am your niece, Rose. You are Uncle Joe, and your wife is Aunt Suzy,” I said.
“Wife? What is a wife? I am not Joe, I am Comrade Number 3345256,” he said.
“I am Comrade Number 433677. What number are you?” Aunt Suzy asked me.
“I am ROSE! What is the matter with you? Do you not remember that I coming for Christmas and I was going to show you pictures of snow?”
“Snow? What is snow?” Joe and Suzy both asked at once.
“It is like frozen rain. Here, this is a picture. See, that is snow. This, which I brought for you¸ is a snow machine, but it is way too hot for snow,” I said.
“I like snow. What do you mean it is too hot for snow? It feels fine to me,” Aunt Suzy asked me.
“Goodbye. You two are not right in the head right now. Maybe I will come to visit another time,” I said.
“What does ‘goodbye’ mean? You speak gibberish,” Uncle Joe said.
I sighed as I went out the door.
“Why are they so mixed up in their heads?” I asked the talking tree as I picked up the velvet blue cat.
“It is part of the cows plan to take over Mootown,” the tree said.
“Ow! Ow! Ow! That hurts!” I screamed as hot water rained down on me from the snow machine that I had left behind.

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